85+ Cheesy & Delicious Jokes About Pizza

Pizza might just be the best food there is. It’s cheap, delicious, feeds a lot of people at once, and best of all, there are so many great jokes about it! If you’ve got a taste for pizza humor, keep scrolling. We’ve got the best pizza jokes, puns, and one-liners about everybody’s favorite food. Let’s dig in!

Our Favorite Pizza Jokes

How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie? Pie Hard.
How do you make a musician’s car more aerodynamic? Take the pizza sign off the top.
What’s the difference between pizza and pizza jokes? Pizza jokes can’t be topped.
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says, “Can you make me one with everything?”
I fell asleep with a pizza in the oven today. I burned 2,000 calories!
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song? “Slice, Slice Baby”

Section 1 of 7:

Short and Funny Pizza Jokes

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Choose a small joke to go with your extra-large 'za. These jokes may be short, but they sure pack a punch! They make an excellent (and hilarious) side dish anytime you’re chowing down on your favorite pizza pie:
- What do you call a fake pizza? A pepper-phony pizza.
- What’s the difference between a good pizza joke and a bad one? The delivery.
- What’s a poodle’s favorite kind of pizza? Pupp-eroni.
- What does an anteater like on its pizza? Ant-chovies.
- What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common? D’oh!
- What do you call it when someone spreads germs all over the pizza? Little Sneezers.
- What is a pizza’s favorite movie? Pie Hard.
- What do anchovies, pineapples, and Domino’s have in common? They ruin pizzas.
- How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp, and even.
- Why do restaurants put pizza in square boxes? They don’t cut corners.
- How do you make a musician’s car more aerodynamic? Take the pizza sign off the top.
- How do you get the guitarist off your front porch? Give him the 20 bucks for the pizza.
- Why did Jabba win the pizza contest? Because no one out-pizzas the Hutt.
- Why did the man cut his pizza with a smartphone? It’s cutting-edge technology.

Section 2 of 7:

Pizza Dad Jokes

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Get ready to groan, because we’re serving up piping hot dad jokes. Dad jokes are extra cheesy—just like a perfect pizza! Share your love of corny jokes next time you’re eating a pie with one of these giggle-worthy wisecracks:
- How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.^{[1]
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- Why did the hipster burn his mouth while eating his pizza? He ate it before it was cool.
- What did the pizza say to the delivery guy? You don’t pepper-own me.
- What does a pizza wear to smell good? Calzogne.
- What did the pepperoni say to the cheese? “Slice to meat you!”
- Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties? Because he’s such a fungi!
- Where do pepperonis go on vacation? The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
- What type of person doesn’t like pizza? A weir-dough.
- What did the pizza say when it went out on a date? I never sausage a beautiful face.
- What did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza? “Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
- Did you hear about the Italian chef with that terminal illness? He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
- What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song? “Slice, Slice Baby”
- Why was the pizzeria desperate for business? Because they kneaded the dough.
- What did the cheerleader order on her pizza? Extra pep.
- What are you if you can’t decide what kind of pizza to get? Inde-slice-ive.
- What do you call it when a tired dad makes pizza? Papa Yawn’s Pizza.

Section 3 of 7:

Cheesy Pizza Puns

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We know you want a pizza these puns! Is there any greater satisfaction than making an eye-roll-worthy pun? We didn’t think so! Next time you’re chowing down on a slice, remember these wise, punny words:
- You will always have a pizza my heart.
- That’s going to be a pizza cake.
- It’s the yeast you can do.
- This is the dough-main for all you pizza aficiona-doughs.
- I a-dough you!
- You can be here today and gone tomato.
- Get out there and cheese the day!
- You’re a real pizza work.
- Olive you so much.
- For pizzake!
- Don’t pizza-round the bush.
- In pizza we crust.
- It’s crust a matter of thyme.

Section 4 of 7:

Pizza Jokes for Kids

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These family-friendly jokes are perfect for young pizza lovers. What kid doesn’t love pizza night? Sprinkle in a few of these jokes along with their favorite toppings to make dinner the funniest meal of the day:
- What did the kid say after eating a frozen pizza? That wasn’t very thawed out!
- If pizza could talk, what would it say? Probably lots of cheesy things!
- What do you call a sleeping pizza? Pizzzzzzzza.
- What did the pepperoni say to the chef? You wanna pizza me?
- What’s the difference between pizza and pizza jokes? Pizza jokes can’t be topped.
- Why didn’t the restaurant finish making the take-out pizza order? They ran out of thyme.
- What do you call a pizza in the shape of a cookie? A pizza.
- What do you call it when a pizza has a bad dream? A night-marinara!
- What did the pizza chef say when she dropped a meat lover’s pie? “I never sausage a tragedy!”
- Why do people like making lasagna from scratch at home? It’s pretty much a pizza cake.
- What did the pastry chef say when the pizza chef asked him for help? “I cannoli do so much…”
- What did the pizza maker say before robbing the bank? “I may love making pizza, but I really knead the dough.”

Section 5 of 7:

Dark & Dirty Pizza Jokes for Adults

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If you like dark humor and dirty jokes, these pizza quips are all-you-can-eat. Pizza may be fun for the whole family, but these jokes are best served after the kids have left the table. If you like your pizza with a little edge, then check these out:
- What do you get when you cross 27 knives and a pizza? Little Caesars.
- What's the difference between a Humanities student and a large order of pizzas? One of them can feed a family.
- I never understood why it was called Little Caesars but then my dad stabbed a pizza box.^{[2]
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- The fact that you can accidentally make a person but you can’t accidentally make a pizza is a pity. Who decided that?
- What is something that a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and pregnant woman share? Someone forgot to pull it out at the right time.
- Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.^{[3]
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- What's the difference between a Mel Gibson movie and a pizza? Pizzas are good.
- What’s the difference between a large pizza and a bass player? A large pizza can feed a family of four.
- Our local pizza guy has been arrested for selling drugs. I have been a loyal customer for years. I honestly had no idea he was selling pizzas.
- Making a pizza is a lot like having sex. If you’re going to use barbecue sauce, you better know what you’re doing.
- I overheard my neighbor say she had a bad day, so I anonymously sent her a meat-lover’s pizza. She’s a vegan and I hate her guts.
- If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner, you are a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them first at least.

Section 6 of 7:

Pizza One-Liners

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Flaunt your witty sense of humor with a clever pizza one-liner. These one-liners are perfect for making your pals laugh while you’re waiting for your pizza to arrive! Slide one of them into your conversation to make yourself seem effortlessly funny:
- Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind…it’s too cheesy.^{[4]
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- The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says, “Can you make me one with everything?”
- I’m going to open a restaurant that only serves crab and pizza. I’ll call it the Crust Station.
- Wood fired pizza? How’s pizza gonna get a job now?
- I’m a little ambivalent about pizza. On the upside, it has some great toppings. On the downside, it doesn’t.
- I like how my local pizza place cuts my pizza into 6 slices instead of 8. I can’t finish 8 slices!
- I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day. I should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature.
- I fell asleep with a pizza in the oven today. I burned 2,000 calories!
- A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today. The man who uncovered it said, “It’s a pizza of our pasta.”
- I asked the waiter, “Will my pizza be long?” “No,” he replied, “It’ll be round.”
- Did you hear about the pizza place on the moon? Great pizza, but no atmosphere.
- To teach my kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then, I made tacos because they don’t live in a swing state.
- Every time a new pizza deliveryman comes to the door and notices the smell of the last pizza man, they storm off. It’s an unfortunate Domino effect.
- I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up Pizza and Coke on the way home from work, but it seems she was not happy. She still regrets letting me name the kids.
- I got a new job delivering pizzas. Nobody really likes liver on pizza anyway.
- An unconscious pizza maker was admitted to the hospital. They called him John Dough.
- My girlfriend and I bought a pizza to share and she got mad at me because I ate half. It was the top half, but still!
- Cinderella got her name from having to clean the cinders from the fireplace. If instead she had to make pizzas, would her name be Mozzerella?
- I asked the bank for a loan to open a "pizza delivery by drone" business. They refused. Said my business case was just pie in the sky.
- The difference between a stupid person and a pizza: One is easy to cheat, the other is cheesy to eat.