105 Turkey and Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids and Adults

Is there a sillier, weirder bird than the humble turkey? Whether you’re getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner or enjoying a turkey sandwich for lunch, we’ve got the best turkey jokes on the Internet to help you crack a smile and share a laugh. Keep scrolling for hilarious turkey puns, one-liners, Thanksgiving jokes, and more! All the jokes we have here are fun for the whole family (minus our turkey jokes for adults—those are for grown-ups only!), so pick your favs, get settled at dinner, and start laughing!

Our Favorite Turkey Jokes

Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had his own drumsticks.
Why did the cranberry blush? It saw the turkey dressing.
Did you hear about the turkey that plays baseball? He covers first baste.
I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year. Sure scared everyone in the grocery store, though.
What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google!
Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from? A poul-tree.
I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers. But I finally quit cold turkey.

Section 1 of 7:

Funny Turkey Jokes

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Tell one of these jokes to make the whole room gobble with laughter. Turkeys are ripe for comedy when you think about it—they look funny, they sound funny, and yet they taste great! Next time you chow down on a turkey leg or pass a wild bird on a remote road, remember these jokes to commemorate the moment:
- What key has legs and can't open a door? A tur-key.
- What side of a turkey grows more feathers? The outside!
- Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had his own drumsticks.
- What do turkeys like to do on sunny days? Have peck-nics!
- Why do turkeys lay eggs? Because if they dropped them, they would break.
- Why did the turkey cross and then recross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
- Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from? A poul-tree.
- Can a turkey jump higher than a house? Yes, because houses can't jump!
- What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing, wing! Wing, wing!
- What kind of weather does a turkey like? Fowl weather.
- Why did the turkey get detention? He used fowl language.
- Why did the turkey bring a microphone? He was ready to roast.
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede? Drumsticks for everyone!
- What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
- What did the leftover turkey say? Make me a sandwich!
- What’s blue and covered in feathers? A turkey holding its breath.^{[1]
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- What did the mother turkey say to her children? If your father could see you now, he’d be rolling in his gravy.
- What’s the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve it lots of pizza and ice cream.
- When is turkey soup bad for your health? When you’re the turkey.
- How many cooks do you need to stuff a turkey? Just one, but sometimes they don’t fit.

Section 2 of 7:

Turkey Jokes for Thanksgiving

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What better way to celebrate Turkey Day than with some turkey jokes? We don’t know for sure if turkey was served at the first Thanksgiving, but it’s been a staple of the meal since the mid-1800s.^{[2]
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- What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
- What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!
- What’s the difference between a turkey and a chicken? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.
- What do turkeys give thanks for on Thanksgiving? Vegetarians.
- I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers. But I finally quit cold turkey.
- Why did the turkey stand on stilts? Because nobody eats flamingos for Thanksgiving dinner.
- What did the turkey say when he met the president? Pardon me.
- What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack, quack!
- You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when you thought the serving size for turkey was one.
- Why did the cranberry blush? It saw the turkey dressing.^{[3]
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- What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham? Nice to meat you.
- How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving? It took the gravy train.
- What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The tur-key.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? Because Thanksgiving was right around the corner.
- Why do turkeys always say “gobble, gobble?” Because they never learned good table manners.

Section 3 of 7:

Turkey Puns & One-Liners

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Calling all dads—these cheesy turkey jokes are all yours! If you’re a fan of cringey dad jokes or making silly puns, then you’re going to get a real gobble out of these jokes! They’re perfect for a lull in conversation at any turkey dinner (or when you need to make someone groan at how impressively lame your jokes are):
- Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner? Because he will gobble it up!
- If you call a big turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? A goblet.
- What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
- Why did the farmer report the turkey to the police? He sensed fowl play.
- Why do turkeys gobble? Because they never learned table manners.
- What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble, wobble!
- What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google!
- What type of glass does a turkey drink from? A goblet.
- What do you call a ghost of a turkey? A poultry-geist.
- How does a turkey travel? By gravy train.
- What happened to the turkey that got in a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
- Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had his own drumsticks.
- What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey? “All About That Baste.”
- How come the turkey didn't eat dinner? He was already stuffed.
- Did you hear about the turkey that plays baseball? He covers first baste.^{[4]
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- Did you hear the one about the rude turkey? It was jerk-y.
- Did you hear about the turkey who lost his left leg? He’s all right now.
- Why was the turkey expelled from the game? It committed a fowl.
- Why didn’t the chef season the turkey? There wasn’t enough thyme.
- Did you hear about the turkey prom? It was a Butterball.

Section 4 of 7:

Turkey Knock-Knock Jokes

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No one is immune to knock-knock jokes—not even turkeys. Looking for a fowl twist on a classic joke? These knock-knock jokes will have you cracking up and asking, “Who’s there?” all night:
- Knock knock!
  Who's there?
  Gobble.
  Gobble who?
  Gobble me, obviously. It's Thanksgiving and I'm a turkey.
- Knock knock!
  Who's there?
  Turkey.
  Turkey who?
  Exactly. Now, where can I hide?
- Knock knock!
  Who's there?
  Annie.
  Annie who?
  Annie body seen the turkey?
- Knock knock.
  Who’s there?
  Mustache.
  Mustache who?
  I mustache you to carve the turkey.^{[5]
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- Knock Knock.
  Who’s there?
  Butter.
  Butter who?
  Butter save me some turkey!
- Knock Knock.
  Who’s there?
  Olive.
  Olive who?
  Olive the turkey, let’s eat!
- Knock, knock!
  Who’s there?
  Anita.
  Anita who?
  Anita bigger pair of pants. I ate too much turkey!
- Knock knock!
  Who's there?
  Emma.
  Emma who?
  Emma real pig when it comes to eating turkey!^{[6]
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- Knock knock!
  Who's there?
  Odette.
  Odette who?
  Odette's a big turkey!
- Knock knock!
  Who's there?
  Howie.
  Howie who?
  Howie am I supposed to walk in this turkey costume?

Section 5 of 7:

Dark & Dirty Turkey Jokes for Adults

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Make sure you’re away from the kids’ table before you tell these jokes! All the jokes on our list are family-friendly—except for these. If you’re a grown-up who likes dark humor, dirty jokes, and adult references, then these turkey and T-Day jokes are for you:
- Is that your pop-up timer, or are you just happy to see me?
- Happy Thanksgiving! Let's get basted.
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself.
- What did the rude turkey say to the drunk who couldn’t walk straight? Wobble, wobble!
- I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year. Sure scared everyone in the grocery store, though.
- One Thanksgiving morning, a farmer walks into his house with a turkey under his arm. “This is the pig I’ve been sleeping with,” he says. “That’s a turkey,” his wife says. The man answers, “I wasn’t talking to you.”
- How did the pilgrims ruin the first Thanksgiving for the Native Americans? They brought too much white meat.
- How can you tell if your Thanksgiving turkey is a male or a female? The female turkeys cost $.83 for every dollar the male turkeys cost.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To sneak across the border into Mexico, where they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.
- This year, for Thanksgiving, we’re making a Turf*cken. It’s when you start to stuff your Turkey with a duck stuffed with a chicken, but then you say f*ck it and order Chinese food instead.

Section 6 of 7:

More Thanksgiving Jokes

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The turkey isn’t the only fodder for jokes at Thanksgiving dinner. From the cranberry sauce and yams to your extended family making questionable dinner conversation, Thanksgiving is great inspiration for comedy. Have a chuckle (or laugh off some meal prepping stress) with one of these fun seasonal quips:
- What’s something normally insulting, but not on Thanksgiving? A family member giving you the bird.^{[7]
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- What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common? One has gobblers, the other has goblins.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
- How do leaves get to Thanksgiving dinner? By autumn-mobile.
- What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.
- What did the ocean say when it saw the Mayflower crossing? Nothing. It just waved.
- Did you hear about the Thanksgiving engagement ring? It’s 24 carrots.
- What do math teachers eat on Thanksgiving? Pumpkin pi.
- What did the scarecrow wear to Thanksgiving? A har-vest.
- Why did the Pilgrim go to the beach? She wanted to get a puri-tan.
- Why do so many people eat potatoes on Thanksgiving? Because they've got a-peel.
- What is stuffing’s favorite song? “Hit Me, Baby, One More Thyme”
- What happens when potatoes drink too much? They get mashed.
- What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.
- Why are rutabagas so popular at Thanksgiving dinner? Because they know how to turnip a good beet.

Section 7 of 7:

More Bird Jokes

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Who says turkeys get to have all the fun? November may be prime turkey joke time, but there are so many other birds to laugh about during the rest of the year! Here are some of our favorite bird puns and jokes to get you through until next Thanksgiving:
- Crow jokes are nothing to caw home about.
- What kind of bird works at a construction site? A crane.^{[8]
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- What do you call a funny chicken? A comedi-hen.
- What did the sick chicken say? Oh no! I have the people pox.
- Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they can’t remember the words.
- What’s the difference between a fly and a bird? A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.
- Why do owls get invited to parties? Because they’re a hoot.
- What do you call a duck that’s always telling jokes? A wise quack.
- Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin.
- When should you buy a bird? When it’s going for cheep.
- Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? It would fall over if it lifted up the other one.
- Which bird has never had a bad hair day? A bald eagle.
- Where do birds invest their money? In the stork market.
- Which birds spend a lot of time on their knees? Birds of prey.
- What soap do birds use? Dove.