135+ Teacher Joke to Make Educators & Students Laugh

Teachers are formative figures in our lives, so naturally, they’re also the butt of many jokes! Whether you’re a teacher looking for a laugh about your profession or a student trying to get on your teacher’s good side, we’ve got you covered with the funniest teacher jokes about math, science, English, and more.

Our Favorite Funny Teacher Jokes

Why did the echo get detention? It kept talking back.
Where does a math teacher eat? At the multiplication table.
How is an English teacher like a judge? They both give out sentences.
What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade? Bio-degraded.
My history teacher always used to say, “History repeats itself,” but I’ve never seen reruns of the news!
My PE teacher tried to make me exercise. I told her, “You can’t make me do squat!”
Why did the girl steal a chair from the classroom? The teacher told her to take a seat.

Section 1 of 10:

Hilarious Teacher Jokes

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These jokes are sure to make learning fun! If you’re a teacher trying to make your class laugh (or you know a teacher who could use a laugh), these jokes are for you. They’re silly, classroom-friendly, and smart—just like a great teacher!
- What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says, “Spit your gum out!” and a train says, “Chew, chew.”
- Why did the teacher marry the janitor? Because he swept her off her feet.
- Why did the echo get detention? It kept talking back.
- Why did the teacher bring a ladder to school? She wanted to go to high school.
- What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance? Absent-minded.
- Why did the teacher jump into the ocean? To test the waters.
- What kind of school does the ice cream man go to? Sundae school.
- Which schoolteachers have the greenest thumbs? The kinder-garden teachers.
- What is smarter than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
- Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses in the classroom? Because the class was so bright.
- Who’s the king of the classroom? The ruler.
- Why did the girl steal a chair from the classroom? The teacher told her to take a seat.
- I asked my teacher, “What rhymes with zebra?” She said, “No it doesn't.”
- Why did the teacher go to the eye doctor? She couldn’t control her pupils.
- Why did the teacher write on the window? The lesson needed to be clear.
- What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation.

Section 2 of 10:

Math Teacher Jokes

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Math may not be everyone’s favorite subject, but these jokes are crowdpleasers. We crunched the numbers, and these jokes + reading them = you laughing! OK, that equation might be off…but these math teacher jokes might just score you some extra points on your next exam:
- A teacher asked, “If I had 8 oranges in one hand and 10 apples in the other, what would I have?” A student replies, “Big hands!”
- Where does a math teacher eat? At the multiplication table.
- Why did the student get upset when her teacher called her average? It was a “mean” thing to say.
- What do you call a ruler, a protractor, and a compass all hanging out together? Weapons of math instruction.
- What if math teachers are pirates, and they just want us to find X so they can get the buried treasure?
- What kind of meals do math teachers eat? Square ones.
- Why did the math teacher go to the beach? She wanted to work on her tan-gent.
- What is a math teacher’s favorite season? Sum-mer.
- What is a math teacher’s favorite snake? A pi-thon.
- Where are math teachers buried? In the symmetry.
- Why was the geometry class always tired? It was out of shape.
- What do you get when you cross a teacher and a calculator? Someone you can always count on.
- My math teacher used to be a banker, but he lost interest.
- Why was the math lecture so long? Because the teacher went off on a tangent.
- Why was the geometry book so adorable? Because it had acute angles.
- My geometry teacher lost her parrot. Poly-gone!

Section 3 of 10:

English Teacher Jokes

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English teachers will love the silly wordplay in these teacher jokes. Technically, joke writing counts as language arts, so reading these wisecracks is almost like studying! Enjoy these teacher jokes bout grammar, Shakespeare, the alphabet, and more:
- How do you comfort a grammar teacher? Say, “They’re, their, there.”
- Last night, my classroom was broken into, and all the dictionaries were stolen. I’m at a loss for words.
- How is an English teacher like a judge? They both give out sentences.
- Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? It was overbooked.
- What’s an English teacher’s favorite kind of tea? A novel-ty.
- What do English teachers eat for breakfast? Comma flakes.
- What’s an English teacher's favorite breakfast? Synonym rolls.
- Why are writing teachers always so cold? They’re surrounded by drafts.
- What do you call a cross between an English teacher and a software engineer? A pro-grammar.
- What do you call an English teacher who’s addicted to social media? An Insta-grammar.
- I’m close to knowing 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
- Why should you never date an apostrophe? Because they are too possessive.
- What pencil did Shakespeare write with? 2B.
- My English teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine!
- An English teacher asked his class, “What’s a synonym?” A student replied, “A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.”

Section 4 of 10:

Science Teacher Jokes

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These science teacher jokes and puns are sure to get a funny reaction. With subjects like chemistry, biology, physics, geology, astronomy, and more, there’s no shortage of scientific material for teacher jokes! Analyze the data—oops, we mean the jokes—below to make a groundbreaking and hilarious discovery:
- What do you call it when a biology teacher takes a picture of himself? A cell-fie.
- Why did the science teacher read a book about helium? Because it was uplifting.
- What is a geology teacher’s favorite kind of music? Rock music.
- How does a science teacher freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
- What do you get when you cross a science teacher and a dog? A lab-ratory retriever.
- What did the science teacher wear to school? Designer genes.
- What is a physics teacher’s favorite kind of music? Heavy metal.
- How does a biology teacher send a message quickly? With their cell phone.
- How much do neutrons cost? Nothing. They are free of charge.
- What do you call an educated test tube? A graduated cylinder.
- Why can't you trust chemistry teachers? Because periodically, they're wrong.
- What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade? Bio-degraded.^{[1]
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- What do you call an acid with an attitude? An a-mean-o acid.
- Why are chemistry teachers great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
- How does a physics teacher stay warm? They stand next to an absolute zero.

Section 5 of 10:

History & Geography Teacher Jokes

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These jokes are as worldly as history and geography. Whether you’re a teacher trying to make history fun or a student trying to get on your geography teacher’s good side (pun intended), these jokes make history and geography facts fun! That’s good news, since laughter has been shown to improve short-term memory and information recall.^{[2]
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Go to source} Study up with jokes like:
- Why don’t history teachers play hide-and-seek? Because good historians are always found in the past.
- Where did Nicolas Romanov II get his coffee? Tsarbucks.
- What is a snake’s favorite subject at school? Hisss-tory.
- Which English king loved fractions? Henry the ⅛.
- Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom.
- A history teacher asked, “What did Paul Revere say at the end of his famous horse ride?” A student said, “Whoa!!”
- I applied for a job as a history teacher once. I changed my mind, though. I couldn’t see any future in it.^{[3]
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- My history teacher always used to say, “History repeats itself,” but I’ve never seen reruns of the news!
- I’m pretty sure all history teachers are actually necromancers. They only care about the dead.
- My History teacher got so angry that I couldn't translate the sequence 50, 1, 5, 1, 500 into Roman Numerals. You could say he was LIVID.
- Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were so many knights!
- A student said, “I’ll never be good at geography.” Her teacher responded, “Not with that latitude!”
- One student asked another student, “Did your geography teacher tell you what the newest US state is?” The other student replied, “I don’t know, but Alaska.”
- What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!
- A geography teacher asked, “Where is the English Channel?” A student replied, “I’m not sure, my TV doesn’t get that channel.”

Section 6 of 10:

Music & Art Teacher Jokes

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The punchlines to these teacher jokes are works of art. Music and art classes bring a much-needed creativity break to a student’s day. Why not encourage your students or classmates to use their imagination with some funny teacher jokes?
- What’s a pirate's favorite subject at school? Arrrrrrrt.
- Art teachers are great because they always draw out the creativity in their students.
- What’s a teacher’s favorite type of music? Class-ical.
- What do you call a fish who teaches music? A bass-oon.
- What do you call a music teacher with problems? A very trebled man.
- Where do piano teachers go on vacation? The Florida Keys.
- Why was the music teacher locked out of her classroom? She couldn’t find the right key.
- What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? Bach in the saddle again.
- Why is a piano so hard to open? The keys are on the inside.
- Why did the music teacher climb a ladder? To reach the high notes.
- What did the art teacher say to her student? You are one art cookie!^{[4]
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- How did the art teacher encourage his students? “Be sure to move in the light direction.”
- What was the art teacher’s favorite swimming technique? The brushstroke.
- Why did the student throw a pack of crayons at his art teacher after he was done with his test? He wanted to pass with flying colors.
- What did the art teacher say to her boyfriend? We were pigment to be.

Section 7 of 10:

Gym Teacher Jokes

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You’ll get a workout laughing at the PE teacher wisecracks. Ah, gym class—you either love it or hate it. Whether you’re a gym class hero or you’re faking a stomach ache to sit out of class, you’re sure to get a good giggle out of these gym teacher jokes:
- I asked my gym teacher, “Can you teach me how to do the splits?” They asked, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
- What did the priest do to the possessed gym teacher? He exorcised him.^{[5]
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- A PE teacher asks his students who they think the smartest teacher at the school is. The students all answer with the science teachers. The PE teacher says, “No, it's me. I get paid the same as them, and I get to play dodgeball all day.”
- My PE teacher asked me, “What’s a sign that your heart made an intense effort?” I answer, “A sharp pain in your left arm.”
- My PE teacher tried to make me exercise. I told her, “You can’t make me do squat!”
- What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
- Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to gym class? He loves to travel.
- What is a frog’s favorite exercise? Jumping jacks.
- What is harder to catch the faster you run? Your breath.
- What did the football coach say to the vending machine? “I want my quarter back!”

Section 8 of 10:

Principal Jokes

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These jokes rule the school—just like a principal! Of course, we can’t forget about every student’s favorite pal: the princi-pal. Try telling one of these the next time you’re sent to their office—some laughter might just get you off the hook!
- Did you hear about the invisible kid who got sent to the principal's office? He's still waiting to be seen.
- Why did the principal fire the cross-eyed teacher? She couldn’t control her pupils.^{[6]
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- Why did the clock get sent to the principal’s office? It wouldn’t stop tocking during class.
- Why did the principal bring clam chowder to school? For the soup-erintendent.
- Why did the chicken go to the principal’s office? It used fowl language.
- What did the cheerleader say when the principal gave her detention? “Bring It On.”
- Why are principals fond of fish? They travel in schools.
- What happened when the principal tied everyone’s shoelaces together? They went on a class trip.
- Where does a principal put smart hot dogs? On honor rolls.
- Why did the educator leave the teaching profession? Because she tried being a teacher, but soon lost her principal, faculties, and class.

Section 9 of 10:

Teacher Jokes for Adults

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You’ll want to save these grown-up jokes for after class. If you’re a fan of dark humor, anti-jokes, or you just like punchlines that make you think for a second, these teacher jokes are for you! Just make sure young students are out of earshot—they may need a few more lessons before they understand this material:
- What’s the difference between a teacher and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
- A teacher asked, “How much is a gram?” A student replied, “It depends on what you need.”
- It turns out my chemistry teacher was right. Alcohol really is a solution.
- My teacher told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic. But so far I’ve made three jugs and a vase, and they’re lovely.
- I’ve been offered a job teaching poetry in prisons. I’m considering all the prose and cons…
- When I was a kid, my parents would say “Excuse my French” after saying a swear word. The first day of school, my French teacher was very surprised at my answer when she asked, “Does anyone know any French?”
- Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, they wouldn’t need it if we paid them more.
- Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
- If we’re going to arm teachers, all I ask is that the librarians get silencers.^{[7]
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- A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts his hand up and says, “G.” The teacher walks over to him and says, “Why is that, Angus?”

Section 10 of 10:

Classroom-Friendly Teacher Jokes for Kids

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Here are some school-themed jokes for young students and teachers alike. These silly and punny jokes about school are perfect for teachers to share with younger students (and for young students to share with their friends like the little comedians they are!). Here are some clever quips to start class on the right foot:
- Why did the student cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- How do bees get to school? On the school buzz.
- Why was the cafeteria clock behind? It went back four seconds.
- Why did the teacher become a gardener? She wanted to help her students grow.
- What is a witch’s favorite class in school? Spelling.
- What is a bird’s favorite subject at school? Owl-gebra.
- Do you want to hear some puns about rocks? I’ll dig some up!
- What do you call a second-place trophy in an astronomy contest? A constellation prize.
- What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? Stop going in circles and get to the point.
- What’s the longest word in the dictionary? “Smiles,” because there’s a mile between the first and last letters.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the school dance? He had no body to go with.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrr!
- Why did the student eat their homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake!
- What did the teacher say after she caught the kitten cheating in school? “Don't be a copycat.”
- How did the dog get all A’s on its report card? It was the teacher’s pet.