The Snarkiest Wednesday Addams Quotes from the Hit Series

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IN THIS ARTICLE

1 “For the record, I don’t believe I’m better than everyone else. Just that I’m better than you.”

2 “It’s not my fault I can’t interpret your emotional Morse code.”

3 “If he breaks your heart, I’ll nail-gun his.”

4 “I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.”

5 “I did the world a favor. People like Dalton shouldn’t be allowed to procreate.”

6 “That’s a shame. I brought my pocket mace. The medieval kind.”

7 “I don’t bury hatchets. I sharpen them.”

8 “Every day is about me. This one just comes with cake and a bad song.”

9 “When I look at you, the following emojis come to mind: rope, shovel, hole.”

10 “My appetite eludes me, Mother. The same way the truth eludes you.”

11 “Ask again and you’ll be down to eight lives.”

12 “Interesting thing about bees: pull out their stingers, and they drop dead."

13 “I’d prefer to remain sharp-edged.”

14 “I go for quality over quantity.”

15 “She’s been smothering me with hospitality. I hope to return the favor. In her sleep.”

16 “It’s amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name.”

17 “I will ignore you, stomp on your heart, and always put my needs and interests first.”

18 “I act like I don’t care if people like me. Deep down, I secretly enjoy it.”

19 “If you can’t kill them with kindness, try lethal injection.”

20 “The only side I’m on is my own, and the only place I’ll lead you is off a cliff.”

21 “Do not put me on a pedestal, because I will burn it down.”

22 “I have FOBI. Fear Of Being Included.”

23 “I cause chaos. I don't succumb to it.”

24 “I don’t evolve. I cocoon.”

25 “I’m where fun goes to die.”

26 “I’m late for a funeral. And if you’re here when I get back, I’ll be early for another.”

27 “I hope my name leaves a bad taste in his mouth.”

28 “He’s got the brains of a dung beetle and the ambition of a French bureaucrat.”

29 “Your fleeting moment of notoriety will fade quicker than your generic looks.”

30 “Your treacherous path is my walk in the park.”

31 “I’d rather attract leprosy.”

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Co-authored by Devin McSween

Last Updated: September 25, 2025 Fact Checked

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She’s clever, cruel, and seriously cynical, so it’s no surprise that Wednesday Addams has her fair share of iconic quotes. If you’re a fan of the hit show Wednesday but haven’t quite gotten your fix of the character’s darkly funny one-liners and comebacks, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve compiled a list of Wednesday’s best burns and retorts throughout seasons 1 and 2. Plus, we put together our very own Wednesday Addams’ Comeback Generator so you can come up with some snarky replies that even she would be proud of!

The Best Wednesday Addams Quotes

• “I act like I don’t care if people like me. Deep down, I secretly enjoy it.”
• “I don’t believe I’m better than everyone else. Just that I’m better than you.”
• “I don’t bury hatchets. I sharpen them.”
• “If you can’t kill them with kindness, try lethal injection.”
• “Do not put me on a pedestal, because I will burn it down.”
• “I have FOBI. Fear Of Being Included.”

Steps

1

“For the record, I don’t believe I’m better than everyone else. Just that I’m better than you.”

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1. 
   During the Poe Cup in season 1, Wednesday competes in a race against Bianca, one of her rivals at Nevermore Academy. Before the competition starts, Bianca tries to taunt and scare Wednesday. However, Wednesday isn’t fazed by the insult and instead is ready with a biting retort of her own. She coldly snaps back that she knows she’s better than Bianca, which surprises the it-girl and definitely gets under her skin.
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2

“It’s not my fault I can’t interpret your emotional Morse code.”

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1. In the beginning of the series, Wednesday and Tyler have a sort of flirtationship, which leaves Tyler wondering what Wednesday’s feelings toward him truly are. He tries to call her out for the mixed signals she’s supposedly giving him, but Wednesday isn’t about to concede that she might like him. Instead, she spins his issue onto him. She cruelly responds that it’s not her fault that he can’t communicate his feelings, as she’s pretty clear about how she feels about people!

3

“If he breaks your heart, I’ll nail-gun his.”

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1. Despite Wednesday’s cold and unfeeling exterior, she starts to care for her bubbly and joyful roommate, Enid. That doesn’t mean she goes soft on her, though. As Enid gets ready for a date with Ajax in season 1, Wednesday lets her know that she has her back in the best way she knows how: with revenge and violence. It’s the sweetest emotion you’ll get out of Wednesday, and it serves as a killer one-liner.
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4

“I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.”

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1. Enid is stumped by Wednesday’s lack of a phone and general interest in acting like a normal, internet-obsessed teenager. In season 1, she insists that Wednesday get online and make an Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok account. Of course, Wednesday quickly and coldly shuts her down, letting Enid know how she really feels about social media and the people who use it!

5

“I did the world a favor. People like Dalton shouldn’t be allowed to procreate.”

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1. In the very beginning of the series, we learn that Wednesday was kicked out of her previous school because she terrorized her brother’s bullies with piranhas. The vicious fish did some…irreparable damage to one of the bullies that will make it hard for him to have children. When Wednesday’s therapist asks her why she shows no remorse for the guy, she snaps that everyone should actually be thanking her. The bully wasn’t a good guy, so for once in her life, she did everyone a favor.
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6

“That’s a shame. I brought my pocket mace. The medieval kind.”

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1. Wednesday is always ready to use one of her various weapons to inflict punishment on those who deserve it. So, when Lucas, one of the town bullies, shows up at the Rave’N dance to apologize to Wednesday, she’s obviously disappointed. Her quick comeback to his attempt at making peace makes it clear that she sees it as a missed opportunity to enact revenge.

7

“I don’t bury hatchets. I sharpen them.”

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1. During Wednesday’s quest to solve the mystery in season 1, she meets Sheriff Galpin, who used to have a vendetta against her father, Gomez. She takes a few jabs at the sheriff’s ineptitude, who retorts that maybe they should bury the hatchet like he and her father did. Wednesday doesn’t give in to his attempt to intimidate her, and just coolly responds that she’s sharpening her disdain for him.
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8

“Every day is about me. This one just comes with cake and a bad song.”

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1. Wednesday has no shortage of self-confidence and pride, that’s for sure. However, Tyler, Enid, and the other students at Nevermore Academy start to question why she doesn’t seem so happy to celebrate her birthday. It’s not the idea that the day’s all about her—she owns that she's self-centered. Rather, it’s the happiness and festivities that make her cringe.

9

“When I look at you, the following emojis come to mind: rope, shovel, hole.”

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1. Wednesday and Enid butt heads at the beginning of the show, which is largely driven by Wednesday’s disdain for Enid’s colorful attitude and internet obsession. She makes fun of Enid’s blog and how her followers comment silly little images. Enid tries to get the upper hand by poking fun at Wednesday’s social media ineptitude, but Wednesday is quicker with the comeback. She insinuates that there’s a deep, dark place that she’d like to put Enid.
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10

“My appetite eludes me, Mother. The same way the truth eludes you.”

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1. Wednesday and her mother, Morticia, already have a pretty contentious relationship. It only gets rockier when Wednesday learns that Morticia is keeping secrets from her. While visiting Wednesday on parents’ day in season 1, Morticia asks why she isn’t enjoying the feast. In classic Wednesday fashion, she bites back that the problem isn’t her. She isn’t afraid to call out her own mother.

11

“Ask again and you’ll be down to eight lives.”

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1. While Wednesday and Enid warm up to each other throughout season 1, Wednesday still doesn’t put up with taunts and sass from her newfound acquaintance. When Wednesday agrees to help Enid win the Poe Cup, she graciously wears the cat costume Enid left for her. Enid points out that Wednesday didn’t draw on whiskers, to which Wednesday replies with this scathing and clever comeback. She’s lucky that Wednesday decided only to threaten her!
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12

“Interesting thing about bees: pull out their stingers, and they drop dead."

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1. Wednesday doesn’t receive a very warm welcome when she starts at Nevermore Academy in season 1, as everyone knows that she was kicked out of her previous school for very bad behavior (to put it lightly!) So when she meets Bianca, the most popular girl in school, for the first time, it’s no surprise that the siren insults her. Wednesday isn’t one to be intimidated, though, and quickly counters that even the Queen Bee of the school has a weakness that can take her down.

13

“I’d prefer to remain sharp-edged.”

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1. Wednesday prefers being by herself and doing her own thing, so it’s no surprise that she resisted getting involved in student life at Nevermore Academy in season 1. When Principal Weems met with Wednesday to encourage her to get involved and be more well-rounded, Wednesday only offered her this snide comeback. She’ll never soften or change herself for anyone, that’s for sure.
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14

“I go for quality over quantity.”

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1. Wednesday makes quite a few enemies when she first starts at Nevermore Academy, who openly ridicule her for her cold demeanor and odd interests. When Bianca mocks Wednesday for seeming to talk to and befriend a plant, she shoots back that she’s looking for a quality friend, not a gaggle of minions. The jab lands, as the siren and Queen Bee of the school is constantly surrounded by companions.

15

“She’s been smothering me with hospitality. I hope to return the favor. In her sleep.”

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1. Despite making it clear that Wednesday wanted nothing to do with her perpetually cheerful roommate, Enid kept attempting to make her feel welcomed at Nevermore Academy. So, when Ms. Thornhill checked in with the roommates to see how they were doing, Wednesday gave a classically barbed reply. She can turn every seemingly sweet gesture into a sinister ploy.
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16

“It’s amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name.”

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1. Wednesday is well-trained in all sorts of forms of kidnapping and torture, and doesn’t take kindly to people who can’t keep up with her sinister skills. When she gets abducted by the Nightshade Society in season 1, she easily unties her hands and identifies her captors. She refuses their invitation to join the secret society and burns them even harder in the process by mocking their poor kidnapping abilities.

17

“I will ignore you, stomp on your heart, and always put my needs and interests first.”

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1. When Tyler takes Wednesday out on a date in season 1, he finally admits that he’d like for them to be more than friends. Ever an enemy of anything gushy and sweet, Wednesday cynically responds that she’s not friendship or relationship material. She rebuffs Tyler’s advances with the harsh truth: she’s selfish, emotionally unavailable, and heartless.
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18

“I act like I don’t care if people like me. Deep down, I secretly enjoy it.”

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1. Wednesday is aloof and emotionless throughout the series, making it clear to others that she is not seeking their approval or friendship. But when she starts to open up to Ms. Thornhill in season 1, it seems like she might reveal that she actually cares what people think of her. Of course, Wednesday wouldn’t be so silly to suggest something like that—she only “cares” that people fear and loathe her.

19

“If you can’t kill them with kindness, try lethal injection.”

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1. Wednesday certainly has a unique knack for putting a morbid spin on things. When she visits Tyler to help Dr. Fairburn in season 2, Wednesday makes it clear that she has no desire to be polite and kind to the guy who was terrorizing Nevermore Academy. Wednesday is always ready to play dirty and use a little deadly force to get the results she needs.
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20

“The only side I’m on is my own, and the only place I’ll lead you is off a cliff.”

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1. In season 2, Wednesday finds herself suddenly popular after saving Nevermore Academy in season 1. Of course, she despises the attention and shuts down all of her admirers. Despite this, the school decides to celebrate her and invites her to make a speech. So, Wednesday bites back and reminds them all that she’s not a role model or leader—she should be feared and hated because she’s selfish and sadistic.

21

“Do not put me on a pedestal, because I will burn it down.”

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1. Wednesday’s speech to the school in season 2 is full of zingers as she mocks their desire to follow and admire her. She lets the students and staff know that she won’t tolerate being celebrated for saving Nevermore. She’ll resist every attempt to make her seem like a hero, and has a literal mic-drop moment as she gives the final blow that she’d rather burn the place down.
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22

“I have FOBI. Fear Of Being Included.”

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1. If there are two things Wednesday hates, it’s being a part of a group and celebrating happy festivities. Wednesday is an introvert to her core, who keeps to herself and doesn’t care about fitting in. When she tries to leave the camping trip in season 2, Principal Dort tells her that most people would have FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out. Wednesday is quick to retort that she has the opposite fear and can’t stand the idea of being included.

23

“I cause chaos. I don't succumb to it.”

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1. Wednesday’s gone through a lot in both seasons of the show. But despite the murders and mysteries surrounding her, she makes it clear they don’t rule her. She never lets it get the best of her and instead remains stoic, clearheaded, and in control amid the chaos. If anything, she retorts, she’s the one who sows doubt and discord.
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24

“I don’t evolve. I cocoon.”

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1. If it wasn’t clear, Wednesday is proud of the way she is and doesn’t plan on changing, thank you very much. When Enid suggests that Wednesday’s plans for their new year at Nevermore aren’t likely to lead to personal growth, Wednesday fires back that she’s not trying to evolve. She doesn’t want to become a shinier version of herself: she wants to do as she pleases by herself in her little cocoon. If she decides to transform into a moth, it’ll be on her terms.

25

“I’m where fun goes to die.”

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1. Wednesday and Enid’s friendship is one of the best parts of the series, as the two couldn’t be more polar opposites. When Enid cheerfully suggests that maybe Wednesday will have fun at Nevermore, Wednesday is quick to remind her that something as silly and frivolous as “fun” has no place in her dark, woe-filled world.
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26

“I’m late for a funeral. And if you’re here when I get back, I’ll be early for another.”

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1. Wednesday doesn’t let people get in her way, but when they try, she’s quick with a bone-chilling threat to back off. And the thing about her is that she’ll always follow through. What makes this threat from season 2 even more cold-blooded is that Wednesday hasn’t been shy about funerals being one of her favorite hobbies.

27

“I hope my name leaves a bad taste in his mouth.”

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1. Wednesday is nothing short of cold and ruthless. When she hears that Tyler mentions her often in season 2, this does nothing to soften her hardened heart. Instead, she lets everyone know that saying her name should be an unpleasant experience that inspires fear and disgust.
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28

“He’s got the brains of a dung beetle and the ambition of a French bureaucrat.”

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1. In season 1, Wednesday asserts that only she can torture and bully her brother, Pugsley. And in season 2, she definitely delivers. As Pugsley makes his entrance into Nevermore Academy, Wednesday is quick to remind everyone that he’s not the brightest, he’s quick to get into trouble, and he can’t clean up his own messes. Her little quip also makes it clear that she is smart and well-read, only making it more of a win.

29

“Your fleeting moment of notoriety will fade quicker than your generic looks.”

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1. Early in season 2, Wednesday confronts her former flame and season 1’s antagonist, Tyler, as he’s chained up in jail. Tyler tries to intimidate her, but of course, Wednesday isn’t having it. She roasts him with her emotionless, deadpan delivery, letting him know he can’t shake her because he’s nobody to her. In the end, she gets under his skin and destroys him completely.
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30

“Your treacherous path is my walk in the park.”

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1. Wednesday is no stranger to danger—in fact, she loves all things dark and deadly. During an argument with her mother in season 2, Morticia warns Wednesday that the answers she’s seeking are shortcuts that will lead her down a treacherous path. In true Wednesday fashion, she lets Morticia know that a little pain and peril aren’t a problem for her: that’s her idea of a good time!

31

“I’d rather attract leprosy.”

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1. For someone who greatly prefers the cold silence of her own company, Wednesday does find herself in the center of all the drama at Nevermore Academy. When Enid suggests that maybe Wednesday likes all the attention in season 2, Wednesday is quick to shoot this claim down. She’d rather contract an infectious disease than be the center of attention (and we believe that she’d enjoy it, too!).
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Wednesday Addams Snarky Comeback Generator

1. Generate delightfully disdainful comebacks that would make Wednesday proud

   Looking for a savage, snarky comeback for the next time someone makes a sweet, cheerful comment about your outfit, your mood, or your general aversion to sunlight? You’re in the right place. We've compiled the most biting, bone-chillingly perfect comebacks so you can respond to every "Have a good day!" with the withering scorn it deserves. Just tell us what they said, and we'll provide the verbal equivalent of a well-placed hatchet. After all, why have a good day when you can have a thoroughly miserable one?

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