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Put your sibling in their place with these sassy comebacks
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Looking for ways to roast your sister in a fun and lighthearted manner? We’ve got you covered! In this article, we’ve compiled the ultimate list of insults, comebacks, and one-liners that you can use to tease your sister, whether she's younger or older than you. We’ll also go over some general guidelines when it comes to roasting so you can maintain a respectful and entertaining exchange.

2

“I was here before you.”

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  1. Remind your younger sibling that you’re older, smarter, and wiser—but don’t be too controlling to avoid crossing her boundaries (remember, you’re not her mom). By focusing on the fact that you were born first, you highlight your age difference in a fun and playful manner.[2]
    • “Again, who was born first?”
    • “Because of you, I never want kids👀👶🙅‍♀️😂”
    • “I’m the reason you were born, and you’re the reason mom and dad decided to stop having kids.”
3

“Your opinion is almost as bad as your outfit.”

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  1. If your sister’s a fan of Crocs, Hammer pants, or any other fashion “faux-pas,” feel free to put her on blast. Roasting her outfit is guaranteed to make her laugh, without being too mean spirited.”[3]
    • “What are those?!!!!” *Point to her shoes.
    • “You better check your outfit before you come for me😤🤣”
    • “Is your sweater collecting unemployment? Because it’s not working for you.”
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4

“If I give you a penny, will you leave?”

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  1. If your sister is being annoying, be direct and hint that you need some space. Just be sure to deliver your line with a smile, laugh, or friendly expression to make it obvious you’re teasing her. Or, follow up with a “still love you though” to avoid hurting her feelings.[4]
    • “You bring me so much joy…when you leave the room.”
    • "You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
    • “I get so emotional when you’re not around. It’s called happiness.”
5

“You built like a Roblox character.”

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  1. Craft your own “you built like a…” line to have a funny exchange with your sister. Take turns trying to one up each other, or say whatever comes to mind to keep things entertaining—the more silly and random your response, the better!
    • “You built like an Airpod.”
    • “You built like a crazy straw.”
    • “You built like a windshield wiper.”
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7

“It took Mom and Dad 3 tries before they had the perfect kid.”

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  1. If you’re the youngest member of your family, drop this line to remind everyone of your role! The youngest sibling is believed to be the most fun-loving (and attention-seeking) person in the family, so you can probably get away with saying any type of insult without getting into trouble.[5]
    • “Mom told me I’m her favorite.”
    • “And you wonder why I’m the golden child…”
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9

“You’re the type of person to trip over a banana peel.”

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  1. Browse social media to get inspiration for this one-liner, or take a few minutes to think of one on your own. Focus on harmless quirks or silly habits that your sister has to really hit home and deliver a savage roast.[6]
    • “You’re the type of person to respond to spam emails.”
    • “You’re the type of person to measure your sleep with a ruler.”
    • “You’re the type of person to wash their hands after a shower.”
    • “You’re the type of person to look up and down before crossing the road.”
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10

“Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”

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  1. If she’s having a hard time minding her own business (or she’s dropping unsolicited advice), cut to the chase with a clever comeback. All of these lines are savage, silly, and playful, but throw in a few emojis if you’re sending them over text to show that you’re just teasing.
    • “Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business👃”
    • “Maybe you should get a life instead of being all up in mine😈”
    • “Did I invite you to my BBQ? Then why are you all up in my grill?”
11

“You’re as interesting as a piece of paper.”

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  1. If your sister is lively and outgoing, use this one-liner to add some entertainment to your lives. It’s a silly and sarcastic way to roast her, without striking a personal chord.[7]
    • “If you were a spice, you’d be flour.”
    • “Be still. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.”
    • “Your face is fine. Your personality on the other hand…”
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12

“You’re so ugly you’d make a Happy Meal cry.”

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  1. These silly one-liners have been around for decades—and for good reason! They’re silly, savage, and guaranteed to create some entertaining moments with your sister.
    • “You’re so ugly that they named the day you were born the uglypocalypse.”
    • “You’re so ugly that when Mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.”
13

“It’d be awesome if you used glue instead of Chapstick.”

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  1. If your sister is chatting your ear off, tell her to be quiet in a funny and creative way. This line might be a little harsh for a younger sibling, but if she’s older, game on! Just deliver it with a friendly expression on your face to convey that you’re teasing her.[8]
    • “Let’s play a game. For the rest of the week, don’t talk to me.
    • “I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
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15

“Don’t worry about me…Worry about your grades.”

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  1. If you really want to up the ante, grill your sister with this epic one-liner. It’s a great insult if you and your sister are both stellar students, but it might be too personal (or offensive) if she’s falling behind in school.
    • “I’m not a nerd. I’m just smarter than you.”
    • “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
    • “You’re the reason why they put warning labels on everything.”
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16

You’re more useless than a clear crayon.”

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  1. Feeling extra, extra savage? Catch your sister off guard with any of these shocking lines. They’re perfect to drop in the middle of a roast-off if you want to show your sister that you’re the roast queen.
    • “You’re as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagna.”
    • “Even Bob Ross would call you a mistake.”
    • “You’re the human equivalent of a participation award.”
17

“You want to hear a good joke? Your life.”

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  1. There’s not much to say about this line except that it’s a shut down. Your sister will be too stunned to speak, and she’ll probably remember it for the rest of her life.
    • “You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?”
    • “I was going to make a joke about your life, but it looks like life got there first.”
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19

“You’re more disappointing than a bowl of salad.”

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  1. For an unexpectedly savage roast, use any of the following lines to tease your sister. They’re extremely creative and cutthroat, so be sure to deliver them in a casual, playful way to avoid coming off as insulting.[9]
    • “Life is full of disappointments. I just added you to the list.”
    • “Mom and Dad said we could be anything. I guess you chose disappointment.”
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20

“How do you still have friends?”

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21

“You’re so fake, even Barbie is jealous.”

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  1. If she’s a certified tattletale, feel free to drop any of these lines. They’re the perfect blend of savage and silly, but avoid using them if your sister is much younger or extra sensitive.[11]
    • “If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.”
    • “Are you talking to me? Sorry, I thought you only talked behind my back.”
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22

“I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad!”

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  1. If you’re playfully arguing with your sister, throw out any of these hilarious one-liners to add extra drama and entertainment. Highlighting your sister’s behavior in a silly way can make for some memorable moments together.[12]
    • “Are you a lobster? Then why are you being so shellfish?”
    • "There’s a new app called ‘being a decent person.’ Maybe you should download it.”
    • “Funny, I just got back from the center of the universe, and I didn’t see you anywhere.”

Emotional Damage Calculator

  1. Find out exactly how much emotional damage your roasts deal
    Some roasts sting. Others leave emotional craters. Whether it was a savage insult or a sneaky little jab, drop the burn below and we’ll calculate just how deep it cut.

    How much emotional damage did that roast really do? Let’s find out.
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  • Question
    Is it clever to say, "You can't call me ugly because ugly starts with you?"
    Juliet Cahen
    Juliet Cahen
    Community Answer
    Yes, that's clever and funny! However, before you use it, consider having another roast ready in case they have a comeback.
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Tips

  • Focus on small quirks and habits that your sister chooses to do, instead of things she can’t change about herself. As a general rule, avoid talking about her weight, relationship status, embarrassing moments, or major insecurities.[13]
  • If you have more than one sister, be sure to spread your jokes around to maintain a good relationship. If you only tease one sister, it could unintentionally hurt her feelings and make her feel singled out.[14]
  • Try to deliver your lines in a friendly and lighthearted way. A smile, giggle, or squeeze on the shoulder can reassure your sister that you’re just teasing her, or you can throw out a “just kidding” if you think you might have offended her.
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About This Article

Bailey Cho
Co-authored by:
wikiHow Staff Writer
This article was co-authored by wikiHow staff writer, Bailey Cho. Bailey Cho is an Editing Fellow at wikiHow, based in Dallas, TX. She has over 2 years of editorial experience, with work published in student journals and lifestyle publications. Bailey graduated from the University of Texas at Austin with a B.A. in Advertising and a Minor in Business. This article has been viewed 218,893 times.
122 votes - 74%
Co-authors: 7
Updated: June 24, 2025
Views: 218,893
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 218,893 times.

Reader Success Stories

  • Anonymous

    Anonymous

    Mar 31, 2024

    "I will roast my sister because she is getting out of control and not listening to me and not doing her chores. This..." more
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