150+ Short People Jokes & One-Liners for Quick Laughs

If you know someone who’s pocket-sized, there are tons of silly jokes and savage roasts to make them laugh. In this article, we’ve put together the ultimate list of short people jokes, roasts, one-liners, and nicknames you can share with family and friends. We’ll also cover common “short people problems,” plus tips for keeping a respectful and entertaining exchange.

Our Favorite Short People Jokes & Roasts

You’re so short, you can hide behind a blade of grass.
How do short people greet others? They microwave.
I’d tell you a joke, but it would just go over your head.
You never ate all your food or went to sleep early, huh?
How does a short person take a bath? They get into the sink.
How do short women go shopping for pants? They buy shorts.
What’s a short person’s favorite dessert? Strawberry shortcake.

Section 1 of 10:

Best Short People Jokes

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Share a short people joke for small-but-mighty laughs. Poking fun at someone’s height can lighten the mood and strengthen your bond, as long as you playfully deliver your line and have a good relationship with them. The following jokes are perfect for any short king or petite queen in your life:^{[1]
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- What’s a short person’s favorite workout? Step-ups.
- How do short people greet others? They microwave.
- What’s a short person’s favorite side order? A small fry.
- How does a short person reach the top shelf? They don’t.
- How does a short person take a bath? They get into the sink.
- What’s a short person’s favorite dessert? Strawberry shortcake.
- How do short people shoot a bow and arrow? With a rubber band and a toothpick.
- Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors? Because you can’t look up to them.
- What’s so offensive about short people jokes? I consider them the height of comedy.
- Why did the short person bring a stool to the concert? They wanted a front-row view!
- Why did the short person have to quit their job at the butcher's? The steaks were too high.
- What 3 things does a short person need to take a bath? Floaties, a snorkel, and a lifeguard.
- Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard drinks were on the house!
- Why was the short person stuck in the elevator? Because they couldn’t reach the “door open” button.
- What did the short person say when asked if they wanted a high-five? “No thanks, I’ll just take a low-five!”
- If short people formed their own country, what would their national anthem be? “It’s a Small Word After All.”
- Why did the short person buy the house with the water fountain? Because he always wanted to own a swimming pool.

Section 2 of 10:

Short People Jokes for Adults

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Crack up adults with a cheeky joke about short people. There are lots of short people jokes with punchlines that are slightly naughtier and more mature. Here are some funny options to raise eyebrows and make adults giggle:^{[2]
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- Instead of getting high, you get medium.
- Why did the short person do drugs? To get high.
- A short guy walks into a bar… His friend steps over it.
- What do you call a short manager? A real micromanager.
- Why are short people so evil? Because they’re closer to hell.
- Short people are oppressed. They’re always getting overlooked.
- I’m not saying short people are inferior, but I do look down on them.
- What do you call a short psychic who escapes from prison? A small medium at large!
- Why do short people have a hard time raising a family? Because they struggle to put food on the table.

Section 3 of 10:

Short People Jokes for Men

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Deliver a funny joke about height to tease a short king. Whether you’re roasting your brother, dad, friend, or partner, the following jokes are the perfect blend of silly and savage. Use them whenever you want to hype up a short man or playfully poke fun at him.^{[3]
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- He’s got tall dreams, but short jeans.
- He doesn’t ride shotgun… He rides booster seat.
- Short kings don’t chase… They speed-walk with purpose.
- What’s a short guy’s favorite position in sports? Underdog.
- Why did the short guy date a tall girl? He wanted to level up.
- Short kings don’t sweat the small stuff… They are the small stuff.
- Why do short guys make great DJs? They know how to drop it low.
- Why don’t short guys ever get into trouble? They fly under the radar.
- Short guys aren’t late bloomers… They just grow on you horizontally.
- Why don’t short guys ever get bored? Because everything’s a tall order.
- Why was the short guy scared of the wiener dog? Because it was too tall.
- What do short guys and Teslas have in common? Small build, big energy.
- He told me he’s 6 feet. He forgot to mention that’s counting emotional height.
- Why did the short guy get promoted? He was always looking up to leadership.
- Why did the short guy drop out of college? Because he couldn’t reach higher education.

Section 4 of 10:

Short People Jokes for Women

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Poke fun at petite queens with a silly joke about being short. Short women might be small in stature, but they’re packed with sass, energy, and unlimited attitude. Try any of these short jokes to rile up a little lady and make her laugh out loud:^{[4]
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- How do short women go shopping for pants? They buy shorts.
- What do women call short men if men call them “petite?” Friends.
- Why did the short girl carry a step stool? To keep up with her dreams.
- Behind every short woman is a house decoration that was being hidden.
- What do you call a short lady who loves gardening? A little green thumb!
- Why did the short girl bring a ladder to the party? To rise to the occasion.
- Why was the short lady scared of the iguana? She thought it was Godzilla.
- What’s a short woman’s favorite exercise? Anything that keeps her on her toes!
- Where is the worst place for a short girl to stand at a concert? Behind anyone at all.
- What do you call a short woman with big dreams? A powerhouse in a petite package.
- Why did the short woman bring a ladder to work? She was ready to climb the corporate ladder.
- How did the short girl ace the dance floor? Because she’s got moves closer to the ground.
- Why do short girls make great comedians? Because they always keep their jokes short and sweet.
- Have you ever noticed that short girls have more role models than anyone else? It’s because they look up to everyone.

Section 5 of 10:

Hilarious Short People Roasts

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Throw out a playful burn to start the ultimate roast battle. If you’re looking to roast someone with love and laughter, the following short people jokes are just for you! They’re the perfect way to kill boredom and start a silly exchange, as long as you deliver your line in a lighthearted way so everyone knows it’s all in good fun.^{[5]
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- How’s the weather down there?
- You’re so short, you’re the size of a rat.
- Do you order food from the kids’ menu?
- Don’t grow a beard… You might trip on it.
- So the gardener forgot to water you, huh?
- What are you gonna do? Bite my ankles?!
- It’s okay… You’re just vertically challenged.
- Please stand up. Oh wait, you already have!
- You’re so short, you need a lift to kiss your bride.
- I would joke, but it might not reach your ears…
- You’re so short, it doesn’t even hurt when you fall.
- I could sit on my knees, and we’d be eye to eye.
- You’re so short, your shoelaces hit you in the head.
- You’re so short, your shadow only covers your knees.
- You’re so short, you can hide behind a blade of grass.
- You look like you still have a lot of growing up to do.
- You’re so short, you’re the last one to know when it rains.
- You’re so short, you can use a cereal box as a suitcase.
- I’d tell you a joke, but it would just go over your head.
- I hope the next stage of your life comes with a ladder.
- You’re so short, if you pull your pants up, you’d be blind.
- You never ate all your food or went to sleep early, huh?
- Let’s go. I can give you a ride… Just hop into my pocket!
- You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
- Sorry, could you repeat that? I couldn’t hear you from down there.
- You’re so short, Michelangelo could make a life-size sculpture of you with one can of Play-Doh.

Section 6 of 10:

Clever One-Liners About Short People

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Drop a witty one-liner about short people to keep the fun going. Looking for a clever one-liner to leave everyone in stitches? The following short people jokes aren’t too mean-spirited, and are perfect to share in person or over text:^{[6]
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- I love short people. They’re more down to earth.
- Appreciate the little things. Give a short person a hug.
- It’s not that I’m short, I just have a build for speed and accuracy.
- Be careful… That guy might jump up and punch you in the knee.
- Just played mini golf with a short person, but they just called it golf.
- Short people are always sad because they can never reach happiness.
- I’m usually really good at making jokes, but this time, I’ve come up short.
- It’s easy to make fun of short people… The jokes always go over their head.
- I asked a short person to lend me $5 yesterday. He said, “Sorry, I’m a little short.”
- Sometimes when I look at short people, I wonder if they’re able to reach their goals.
- You’ve really got to hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
- Tall person: “I’m around 6 feet.”
  Short person: “I’m 5 feet and 2.8234017338 inches.”
- Tall people and short people should never date. Long-distance relationships never work out.
- “Keep looking up.” — Motivational advice for most people. Necessary advice for short people.
- You know you’re short if you think the people on the wedding cake are the actual bride and groom.
- I heard short people can hear what their ancestors are saying because they’re so close to the ground.
- “God only lets things grow until they are perfect. Some of us didn’t take as long as others!” — Unknown
- I was shocked to read in the paper today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself, “How could someone stoop so low?”

Section 7 of 10:

“Short People Problems” Jokes

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Highlight the pitfalls of being petite with a “short people problems” joke. From getting mistaken for a kid to being the same height since 6th grade, there are many struggles that short people can humorously relate to. Here are some hilarious “short people problems” to connect with fellow shorties:
- Getting mistaken for a kid in public places.
- Your feet never touch the floor when sitting.
- People tend to hug your head more than your body.
- The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
- Hitting other people in the face when you hold the umbrella.
- Needing a chair cushion for the driver’s seat so you’re not too low.
- Getting a chair to reach something high and still not being able to reach it.
- Having to throw stuff onto the higher shelves because you can’t reach them.
- Awkwardly asking a tall person at the store if they can get you something from the top shelf.
- Being the same height, shoe, and clothing size for the rest of your life since you were in 6th grade.

Section 8 of 10:

Funny Nicknames for Short People

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Select a sweet and silly nickname to match their short stature. Looking for affectionate nicknames for short people? Play around with words that emphasize their height (or lack of it), or use puns or rhymes that relate to being short. Sharing a laugh is one of the best ways to strengthen your relationships.^{[7]
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Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living

Go to source} So, feel free to be as silly, outrageous, or over-the-top as you like!
- Ant
- Elfy
- Stub
- Runt
- Dinky
- Tootie
- Pickle
- Midge
- Shrimp
- Tic Tac
- Nugget
- Toddler
- Gnome
- Tadpole
- Booster
- Goober
- Freezer
- Gremlin
- Chicken
- Itty Bitty
- Copycat
- Lowrider
- Fun-sized
- Stepstool
- Arm Rest
- Short Rib
- Throw Toy
- Inch Worm
- Ankle Biter
- Shot Glass
- Skyscraper
- Single Scoop
- Shetland Human
- Daddy Long Legs
- Vertically Challenged
- Shorty McShorterson
- Condensed Charisma
- Gnome Sweet Gnome
- Compressed Coolness
- The Little Engine That Could

Section 9 of 10:

How to Tell Short People Jokes

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Deliver your joke in a friendly and lighthearted way to avoid offense. A smile, giggle, or squeeze on the shoulder can go a long way in reassuring someone that you’re just teasing them. If someone is insecure about their height or you don’t know them that well, you should avoid telling these jokes. Additionally, avoid any terms that hint at deformity, infantilization, or real insecurities, such as “midget” or “dwarf.”^{[8]
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- If you’re teasing someone in a group setting, be sure to spread your jokes around. Teasing one person can hurt their feelings and make them feel singled out, so have fun roasting everyone.
- If you accidentally hit a sore spot, own up to your mistake and make a genuine apology. You could say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take things too far, and I should be more careful with my words.”