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Why did this girl start talking to me again after ignoring me?

WikiLemmingWhisperer521
WikiLemmingWhisperer521
01/09/25 9:12pm
I (M19) am currently talking to a girl I met in a survey class (she’s 20F, I think). The thing is, I thought we were really hitting it off but she randomly gets cold and distant. When we first starting talking, we chatted basically every day for like a week. Then, she totally went dark. It felt like she was ignoring me, but she texted me like a week later and apologized for being busy. She’s done this like two times. What’s going on, you think? It feels like we flirt a lot when we talk, but then she just goes totally cold and it’s driving me nuts. You think I have a shot here?
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WikiPandaDriver709
WikiPandaDriver709
01/10/25 5:31pm
This is a tough one. On one hand, people will usually do anything they can to keep a convo going with someone when they’re crushing on them. On the other hand, attention is a big signal when it comes to figuring out if someone likes you, so randomly disappearing is not a good sign.

I think that when it comes to someone who is sort of “in between,” your best bet is to try and start out as friends. Invite them to do something IRL that won’t be coded as a date. You could invite them to a party your friends are throwing or “accidentally” end up with an extra ticket to a ball game you and your friends are going to. It’s a lot easier to get a read on whether someone likes you or not in real life, so the more time you spend together in person the more information you’ll get.

If they keep turning down your invitations to do things in person, they’re probably not interested. If they accept your invites and seem warm in person, they’ve probably got a lot going on in the background that keeps them from texting a lot. Either that, or she’s just one of those people who sucks at texting haha.
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Anonymous WikiCheetah
Anonymous WikiCheetah
03/25/25 11:32pm
Some people are really bad texters. My best friend is like that. I'd pay attention to how she acts when she IS interacting with you. If she drops off sometimes but is always attentive, enthusiastic, and engaged when she's hanging out with you or talking with you, that might be a sign that she is genuinely interested in you but just bad at staying in touch. That means it will take some extra work on your end to regularly interact with her, but if you like her a lot it could be worth it.
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WikiOwlJammer671
WikiOwlJammer671
01/12/25 8:34am
If she seems flirty and interested in you, it may be worth opening up a conversation about how your behavior makes you feel. This conversation can help you get clarity on if she actually likes you and is just bad at texting or if she's trying to indirectly signal to you that she's not that interested. You might be nervous to have this chat but I'd say it's worth it! You don't want to be agonizing over this forever.
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WikiWombatReader561
WikiWombatReader561
01/11/25 12:43pm
You could have a shot here! It's possible that she is genuinely busy. Some people have lives packed with a lot of responsibilities or are just going through an especially chaotic patch. If she seems sincere in her apologies and continues to reach out to you, even if it's kind of few and far between, then she's probably interested, but just busy. It's up to you to decide if you're okay with pursuing a relationship with someone who may not have that much time or emotional availability for you.
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