160+ Funniest Basketball Jokes for Kids & Adults

Looking for a ballin’ basketball joke to make kids and adults laugh? We’ve got you covered! In this article, we’re providing the ultimate list of basketball jokes, puns, and one-liners that will have everyone bouncing with laughter. Whether you’re a player, coach, fan, or just someone who appreciates a good dad joke, here are the best basketball jokes to share with anyone who loves the game.

Top-Tier Basketball Jokes

Why can’t you play basketball with pigs? They hog the ball.
What do you call a basketball player with allergies? Scottie Epipen.
Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team? He didn’t get picked.
What’s the difference between Kevin McHale and time? Time passes.
What do you call a shrimp that’s really good at basketball? Leprawn James.
What do you call a basketball player who smells really good? Kevin Deodurant.
What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight? Become a referee.

Section 1 of 7:

Funny Basketball Jokes

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Throw out a hilarious basketball joke to score some laughs. From Michael Jordan to LeBron James, there are so many basketball players (and terms) that can be used in jokes. Here are some funny basketball jokes to bring the house down:^{[1]
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- What’s the difference between Kevin McHale and time? Time passes.
- What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks? Alley Whoops.
- Which basketball player would be a great spokesperson for autumn? Tacko Fall.
- Why did the basketball player always use a payphone? He loved dropping dimes.
- What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight? Become a referee.
- What do you do when you see an elephants with a basketball? Get out of the way!
- Why did the referee skid on the court? The basketball players dribbled everywhere!
- What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make? To travel more.
- Why were the basketball team’s jerseys so full of static? The team was out of Bounce.
- How do you keep a Milwaukee Bucks player out of your yard? Put up a basketball net.
- What do you get when you cross a basketball player with a monster? A double header.
- Why did the Harlem Globetrotters have a ghost on their team? To add a little team spirit.
- Why don’t basketball players like to leave their hometown? They hate traveling so much.
- If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be? Five after nine.
- What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake? A bouncing baby boa.
- What do Karl Malone, Santa Claus, and the mailman have in common? They always deliver.
- What’s the difference between a Suns’ fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after a while.
- Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the basketball game? Because he had no body to go with.
- Why hasn’t Europe ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Europe isn’t a country.
- Why did the elephants stampede onto the basketball court? They played for the Chargers.
- How do you know when it’s LeBron James’ birthday? Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.
- Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team? Because then New York City would want one too.
- Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited? Because he was always putting on Airs.
- What’s the difference between basketball players and soccer players? Basketball players get actual injuries.
- Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens? He was learning how to draw fouls.

Section 2 of 7:

Short Basketball Jokes

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Share a short basketball joke to have people balling with laughter. Just like a jump shot, you only need a few seconds to tell a funny basketball joke (and net a ton of laughs). Here are some short and sweet options to crack everyone up:^{[2]
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- Who was the poet of basketball? Longfellow.
- What do you call a sad basketball player? A bawler.
- Why did Lamar give Kobe $5? Because Lamar Odom.
- What do you call a shark that plays basketball? A Sharq.
- What do basketball centers dance to at prom? Post Malone.
- Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball? Because they’re dead.
- What do you call a 3-pointer during a heat wave? A hot shot.
- What does a basketball player say when he misses? “Shoot.”
- Where do point guards take their dates to dance? Basket balls.
- What sports team is hated by all beard lovers? The LA Clippers.
- What’s Santa’s favorite basketball play? The give-and-Go! Go! Go!
- Why did the fish refuse to play basketball? He was afraid of the net.
- Why are basketball players messy eaters? They’re always dribbling.
- What do you call a pumpkin that plays basketball? A jock-o’-lantern.
- Why is a referee like an angry chicken? They both have foul mouths.
- What role does a dalmatian fill on a basketball team? “Spot” shooter.
- What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
- What are basketball players’ favorite type of firework? A flare (screen).
- What happened when basketball sued tennis? They had to go to court.
- Why was the basketball court wet? Because people were dribbling on it!
- What’s the first meal of the day called for basketball players? Fast breaks!
- Why did Cinderella fail at basketball? Because she ran away from the ball.
- Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? They aren’t allowed to travel.
- How do you beat the Heat in the summertime? Score more points than them.
- Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players? They dribble all the time.

Section 3 of 7:

Basketball Dad Jokes

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Drop a witty basketball dad joke to win everyone over. If there’s an opportunity to weave in some basketball-related humor into your conversation, take it! Use any of these dad jokes to get the laughs (and maybe some eye rolls) going: ^{[3]
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- What’s a bass fish’s favorite sport? Bass-get-ball.
- What is the best animal in basketball? A score-pion.
- Why can’t you play basketball with pigs? They hog the ball.
- What did the triangle offense say to the ball? “You’re pointless.”
- What do you call a fantasy show about basketball? Hooper-natural.
- What do you call a basketball player with allergies? Scottie Epipen.
- Which state do basketball players get their kits replaced? New Jersey!
- Why did the chicken get thrown off the basketball court? For fowl play!
- What is Santa’s favorite basketball team? The New York Old St. Nicks.
- Which basketball team always donates blood? The Hemoglobe-trotters.
- How did the guy with no hair do during his basketball game? Oh, he bald.
- Why couldn’t the baby make a basket? Because he was always dribbling.
- What do you call a shrimp that’s really good at basketball? Leprawn James.
- What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball? Ghoul tending.
- If basketball players get athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get? Missile toe!
- What do you call a basketball player who smells really good? Kevin Deodurant.
- What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball? Michael Gourdan.
- What do you call a monkey that wins back-to-back basketball titles? A chimpion.
- Why’d the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fouls.
- What are ghosts best at defense in basketball? They’re great at getting through screens.
- Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court? It’s always getting tentacle fouls.
- What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot? “Hive scored!”
- What was the name of the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink? Scottie Slippen.
- What sound does a limping turkey make after a sprained ankle at a basketball game? “Wobble, wobble!”
- Why was the mummy a great sixth man? Because the coach knew once he sent the mummy in, the game would be all wrapped up.

Section 4 of 7:

Basketball Puns & One-Liners

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Shoot a ballin’ pun or one-liner to get the laughs going. If there’s ever an awkward moment in conversation, sharing a basketball-related pun or one-liner is a great way to break any tension and lighten the mood. Here are some puns and one-liners that put the perfect spin on phrases and idioms you love:^{[4]
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- I used to be addicted to basketball but I rebounded.
- I was going to pass it to you…but the hoop was open first.
- They’re a team in transition. They’re going from bad to worse.
- If Shaquille O’Neal was a shade of blue, he’d be Shaquille O’Teal.
- Basketball sued tennis for no reason. Now they have to go to court.
- If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot. Because I’d always miss you.
- Basketball players are afraid of themselves. They don’t like great heights.
- I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball. He brought a frisbee with him.
- I’ve got a great idea for a NBA-themed fast food restaurant. I call it Shake-Shaq.
- I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting larger and larger. Then it hit me.
- I hear that Mr. Worldwide often gets called in basketball. He’s always trying to travel.
- My dad is really good at basketball. He always told me, “I’ve been Duncan all my life.”
- My tennis career has taught me I can be the best basketball player ever. Nothing but net.
- Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the Torontosaurus Rexes.
- The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season. Apparently they never take any shots.
- Basketball players are the most upstanding members of society. They really are people to look up to.
- The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court, the game would be canceled.
- A brawl took place in a basketball game. A judge came in and used his gavel to stop it. He brought order in the court.
- I’ve been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant. He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.
- Just saw a fight between a basketball player and a YouTuber. Don’t listen to the media. The basketball player will win in the courts.
- They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall. They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf.
- A granddaughter was visiting her grandma at the nursing home. When the girl walked into the room, the grandma smiled. The girl enthusiastically said, “Grandma you have March Madness teeth! You are down to your Final Four!”

Section 5 of 7:

Basketball Jokes for Kids

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Tell a clean and creative basketball joke to charm kids of all ages. Sharing jokes is a great way to bond with children, promote their creative thinking skills, and diffuse sour moods.^{[5]
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- What does a hunter do with a basketball? He shoots it!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move? Jump hook.
- What do you call a pig who plays basketball? A ball hog.
- Why don’t fish like basketball? They’re afraid of the nets.
- What’s bouncy and spiky? A hedgehog playing basketball!
- What type of earrings does a basketball player wear? Hoops.
- In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full? Basketball.
- What was the alligator’s favorite basketball move? The alli-oop.
- Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball? Her coach is a pumpkin.
- What do you call a ninja who’s good at basketball? Kobe Shinobi!
- Why are spiders good at basketball? Because they’re eight-footers.
- Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team? He didn’t get picked.
- Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them.
- Which dinosaur was the best at playing basketball? The LeBrontosaurus.
- Which fast-food chain would be a good basketball player? Dunkin’ Donuts.
- Which Star Wars character is the best basketball player? Kobe-Wan Kenobi.
- What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball? Ghoul tending.
- Why are frogs so good at basketball? Because they always make jump shots.
- How do basketball players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans.
- Why is the basketball arena hot after the game? Because all the fans have left.
- What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball? Get out of the way.
- What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player? One drools, the other dribbles.
- Who is the best basketball player in the Hundred Acre Wood? Tigger, because he loves to bounce.
- Why did the basketball team join a craft club? Because they wanted to learn how to make baskets.

Section 6 of 7:

Basketball Jokes for Adults

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Crack up adults with a cheeky or savage basketball joke. There are tons of bsaketball-related terms and puns that can be turned into playful jokes for adults. Here are some clever examples to score major points:^{[6]
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- Why did the NBA player go to jail? He shot the ball.
- Why couldn’t the basketball addict recover? He rebounded.
- What is a urologist’s favorite part of basketball? The dribbles.
- What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
- What did the devil-worshiping basketball player say? “Baal is life.”
- What’s the worst basketball warm-up song? Another Brick in the Wall.
- Why was the basketball player arrested? He was caught dunk-driving.
- Why did Ron Artest leave the game early? He wanted to beat the crowd.
- Why did the basketball player visit the bank? His checks were all bouncing.
- What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring? A senior citizen.
- What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship? Rewind the VHS tape.
- Why does Jesus get nervous when playing basketball? He’s afraid of getting crossed up.
- What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals? The Detroit Pistons.
- What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score? Slam Drunk!
- Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA? Supposedly, he’s a whistleblower.
- Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website? They can’t string 3 “Ws” together.
- What does a Miami Heat fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals? He turns off the PlayStation.
- Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together? He shoots, he scores.
- What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans? Treasury bonds eventually mature.
- What do the band Lynyrd Skynyrd and the 1980s Boston Celtics offense have in common? Free Bird.
- What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common? They both get negative returns.
- What’s the difference between the Miami Heat and a dollar bill? You can still get 4 quarters out of a dollar bill.
- How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire? One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
- If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear? Depends.
- What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next? A basketball coach.

Section 7 of 7:

College Basketball Jokes

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Keep the madness going with these clever college basketball jokes. March Madness, or the NCAA’s Division I men’s basketball tournament, is an extremely popular and exciting event for college basketball fans. So, throw out any of these clever jokes to keep the energy alive:^{[7]
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- What did the March say to all the madness? “What’s all that bracket?”
- What kind of cheese do college basketball players eat? Swish cheese!
- Why is playing college basketball with vampires tough? No blood, no foul.
- Where is a college basketball player’s favorite place to eat? Dunkin’ Donuts.
- Why do college basketball players love astronomy? They are shooting stars.
- What do you call an unbelievable story about a college basketball player? A tall tale.
- What do an angry bunny and a college basketball player have in common? Mad hops.
- What position did the pumpkin play on the college basketball team? It was a point gourd.
- Why do so many college basketball players fail their exams? Because they don’t want to pass.
- Why did the college basketball player bring pencils to the game? He wanted to draw fouls.
- Why couldn’t the college basketball player listen to his music? Because he broke a record!
- What happens when your basketball team loses in March? You get March Madness sadness.
- Why can’t you play college basketball in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs.
- What do college basketball cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game? Root beer.
- Why is a scrambled egg like a losing college basketball team? Because they both have been beaten.
- Why are college basketball players good at handling breakups? Because they can always rebound.
- How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But he gets money, a car, and 3 credit hours for it.

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If you want to send someone a basketball GIF or image along with your joke, you can find them on sites like GIPHY.com, Tenor.com, Gifer.com, or Funimada.com.

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To come up with your own joke, play around with different basketball terms or player’s names. You could replace a word in a common phrase with “dunk,” “dribble,” “hoop,” or “foul,” for example.

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