130+ Comforting Words & Messages for Difficult Times

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What to say when someone’s grieving or struggling

Co-authored by Leslie Bosch, PhD and Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: May 9, 2025 Fact Checked

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• Words of Comfort and Sympathy
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• After Loss
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• For Death Anniversary
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• For Friend
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• Comforting Quotes
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• Sympathy Quotes
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• Comforting Yourself
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• Example Messages
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• How to Comfort Someone

|Show more |Show less

Someone you know is going through a hard time—maybe a friend lost a relative, or perhaps a coworker is going through a breakup. No matter the situation, you want to do your best to comfort them. But what do you say? We compiled a list of things you can say to comfort someone in any situation. Keep reading for expert and psychology-backed advice on how to offer support and empathy during difficult times.

Encouraging Words of Comfort for Anyone

• “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
• “Know that I’m here for you.”
• “Need a hug?”
• “I care about you.”
• “Be kind to yourself. What you’re going through isn’t easy.”
• “I’m unsure what to say, but I can listen.”

Steps

Section 1 of 9:

Words of Comfort and Sympathy

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1. 
   Offer support and encouragement to show comfort and sympathy. Sometimes, the best thing you can say is, “I’m here for you.” When comforting someone, focus on acknowledging their pain, expressing your concern, and offering support and sympathy. Here are a few comforting and sympathetic phrases you can start with:

   • “It breaks my heart to hear that. What can I do to help?”
   • “Take as much time as you need.”
   • “Thinking of you!”
   • “I’m so sorry about your loss.”
   • “Remember, you’re not alone.”
   • “I have something for you! I’ll give it to you tomorrow.”
   • “Be kind to yourself. What you’re going through isn’t easy.”
   • “How about a hug?”
   • “I’m unsure what to say, but I can listen.”
   • “It’s okay to cry and feel your feelings.”
   • “You’ve gotten through tough times before, and you can get through this, too.”
   • “Know that I’m here for you.”
   • “You’re allowed to show up just as you are, no matter what that looks like.”
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Section 2 of 9:

Words of Comfort after a Loss

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1. 
   1
   Acknowledge their loss to show that you care. Something as simple as “I’m sorry for your loss” can mean the world to someone experiencing grief. Express your concern and open the floor for them to talk about it, if they’d like. These simple phrases can comfort someone grieving while also giving them space to open up if they’re ready to:

   • “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
   • “You were a great [their relationship to the deceased] to them.”
   • “Take as much time as you need to grieve.”
   • “Know that you’re not alone. I’m here for you.”
   • “They’ll be deeply missed.”
   • “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
   • “You and your family are in my thoughts.”
   • “I’ll miss them.”
   • Looking for more guidance? See what wikiHow readers recommend saying on the “What should I say to someone when their loved one dies?” forum page.
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   What to Avoid Saying Everyone goes through grief differently. Because of this, some words may not be as comforting to others. These words and phrases may come from a loving place, but it’s best to avoid them to not pressure or push philosophical or religious ideals on the mourning:

   • “It’s part of God’s plan.”
   • “Look at what you have to be thankful for.”
   • “They’re in a better place now.”
   • “This is behind you now; it’s time to get on with your life.”
   • “You will…”
   • “You should…”
3. 
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   Other Ways to Comfort Finding the right words to can be difficult, and that’s okay. Grief isn’t easy. Thankfully, there are plenty of other ways you can comfort them and show your support, such as:

   • Shopping for their groceries.
   • Dropping of food or a pre-cooked meal.
   • Helping with funeral arrangements.
   • Taking care of housework, like laundry.
   • Offering to watch or pick up their kids.
   • Going with them on a walk or outing.
   • Taking them to see a movie or grab a coffee.
   • Sending a quick text.
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Section 3 of 9:

Words of Comfort for Anniversary of Death

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1. 
   1
   Recognize someone’s pain to offer support and comfort. A death anniversary is the date of someone’s passing. For loved ones of the deceased, this day can be extremely difficult. It’s a time of reflection and remembrance. Avoid comparing your loss with theirs or dismissing their pain. Instead, acknowledge their loss to help them feel comforted and supported. Here are some things you can say when someone is mourning on an anniversary of death:

   • “Thinking of you today.”
   • “How can I honor [the deceased] today?”
   • “Saw this today and thought of [the deceased].”
   • “Do you have time to talk today?”
   • “Are you available to grab coffee soon?”
   • “If you need to talk this week, I’m here.”
   • “I’m sorry for your loss. I know today must be tough.”
   • “You and your family are in my thoughts.”
2. 
   2
   What to Avoid Saying While finding the right words may be difficult, there are a few phrases that are best to avoid. These phrases may come from a loving place, but they can be less than comforting to some:

   • “They’re in a better place now.”
   • “Time heals all wounds.”
   • “I know how you feel. I lost…”
   • “They’re watching over you now.”
   • “You’ll see them again in heaven.”
3. 
   3
   Other Ways to Offer Support If you can’t come up with the right words, that’s okay! Grief can be difficult to tackle, even if you aren’t experiencing it directly yourself. There are plenty of other ways you can show your support for someone mourning, including:

   • Offer to do a specific task for them, like mowing their lawn or doing the dishes.
   • Share a fond memory of the deceased with them.
   • Send a handwritten card or flowers.
   • Share how the deceased positively impacted you.
   • Make a meaningful donation in the deceased’s honor to a cause they cared about.
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Section 4 of 9:

Words of Comfort to a Friend

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1. 
   Be genuine with a loved one to comfort them. If your friend is going through a rough time or dealing with grief, offer them a shoulder to cry on. One of the best things you can do is be there as you normally would. Acknowledge what’s happened, and offer kind, sympathetic words that don’t minimize their pain or your friendship. Take a look at these example phrases you could send or say to a grieving or troubled friend:

   • “I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.”
   • “If you need anything, I’m here for you. Always.”
   • “There are no words big enough to describe how sorry I am.”
   • “Know that I’m thinking of you. I know this is so hard.”
   • “This absolutely sucks. How can I help?”
   • “You’re allowed to show up exactly how you are, no matter what that looks like.”
   • “You’re so strong, and I believe in you.”
   • “I have dinner for you. I’ll drop it off tonight.”
   • “You didn’t deserve that.”
   • “Do you need a hug?”
   • “I care about you.”
   • “Remember, there is always hope.”
   • “Stay strong. You’ll make it through.”
   • “You’re loved. Don’t you ever forget that.”
   • “Stay strong, you’ll make it through.”
   • “You are capable of overcoming this.”
   • “Take some time to do something for yourself today, okay?”
   • “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can.”
   • “I’m always here to listen if you need someone to talk to.”
   • “Know that it’s okay to feel sad and overwhelmed.”
   • “You’re an amazing person. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
   • See how wikiHow readers comfort their friends over text on the “What do you say to comfort someone over text?” forum page.

Section 5 of 9:

Comforting Quotes to Make Anyone Feel Better

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1. 
   Lean on inspirational sayings when you’re at a loss for words. Don’t know exactly what to say to make a loved one feel better? That’s okay! Thankfully, there are thousands of encouraging and uplifting quotes out there that you can draw inspiration from. Say or send one of these quotes to someone going through a hard time to show that you care:

   • “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” - Martin Luther King Jr.
   • “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” - Christopher Reeve
   • “A depressing and difficult passage has prefaced every page I have turned in life.” - Charlotte Brontë
   • “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” - Oprah Winfrey
   • “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou
   • “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” - Helen Keller
   • “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place.” - Lance Armstrong
   • “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” - Nelson Mandela
   • “Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
   • “Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” - Lyndon B. Johnson
   • “Knowing what must be done does away with fear.” - Rosa Parks
   • “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.” - Lucille Ball
   • “You are the one that possesses the keys to your being. You carry the passport to your own happiness.” - Diana Von Furstenberg
   • “If you remain calm in the midst of great chaos, it is the surest guarantee that it will eventually subside.” - Julie Andrews
   • “One part of wisdom is knowing what you don’t need anymore and letting it go.” - Jane Fonda
   • “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!” - Dolly Parton
   • “Just because you fail once doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything.” - Marilyn Monroe
   • “To be good, and to do good, is all we have to do.” - John Adams
   • “Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They’re just braver five minutes longer.” - Ronald Reagan
   • “We’re here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark.” - Whoopi Goldberg
   • “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” - A.A. Milne
   • “The only time you fail is when you fall down and stay down.” - Stephen Richards
   • “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” - Carl Rogers
   • “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” - Milton Berle
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Section 6 of 9:

Sympathy Quotes for After Loss

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1. 
   Send condolences with a quote that sums up your thoughts. It can be challenging to know what to say to someone who’s grieving. If you’re at a loss for words, gather inspiration from influential people and celebrities. These quotes are encouraging, supportive, and sympathetic, and are perfect to send to someone who’s just experienced a loss:

   • “The song is ended, but the melody lingers on.” - Irving Berlin
   • “Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.” - Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
   • “What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us.” - Helen Keller
   • “Grief is the price we pay for love.” - Queen Elizabeth II
   • “Grief is like the ocean. It comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” - Vicki Harrison
   • “Grieving is a necessary passage and a difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow—it is not a permanent rest stop.” - Dodinsky
   • “The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief. But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.” - Hilary Stanton Zunin
   • “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” - C.S. Lewis
   • “You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.” - Old Chinese Proverb
   • “Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” - Earl Grollman
   • “There’s a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out.” - Lou Reed, Magic and Loss
   • “Tears are the silent language of grief.” - Voltaire
   • “There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.” - Aeschylus
   • “Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind.” - Marcel Proust
   • “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
   • “Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone; his own burden in his own way.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
   • “Given a choice between grief and nothing, I’d choose grief.” - William Faulkner
   • “Grief changes shape, but it never ends.” - Keanu Reeves
   • “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero
   • “You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” - Jan Glidewell
   • “As long as I can, I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can, I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us.” - Sascha
   • “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” - William Shakespeare
   • “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss
   • “Time heals old pain, while it creates new ones.” - Proverb
   • “Those things that hurt instruct.” - Benjamin Franklin

Section 7 of 9:

Words to Comfort Yourself

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1. 
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   Speak kindly to yourself to show yourself compassion. It can be easy to reach for the support of others when you’re going through a rough time, but did you know that you can support yourself just as easily? Talk to yourself in the first person, whether that’s out loud or in your head. Speaking soothing, encouraging, and kind words over yourself can help you feel loved. Here are some examples:

   • “I love myself.”
   • “I am important.”
   • “I can handle this one step at a time.”
   • “I am imperfect, but I am perfectly me.”
   • “I can make a difference.”
   • “I am loved.”
   • “I am enough, just as I am.”
   • “I am stronger than I think.”
   • “I believe in myself.”
   • “The world has a need for me.”
2. 
   2
   Other Ways to Comfort Yourself Talking positively to yourself might be hard, and that’s okay. Try working up to positive self-talk by comforting and supporting yourself in other healthy ways:

   • Imagine a loved one is saying comforting words to you.
   • List your favorite things. These can be about yourself or your interests.
   • Visualize your favorite place and imagine yourself there.
   • Think about what you can touch and see around you.
   • Play and sit with a pet.
   • Listen to music.
   • Plan an activity or outing with a loved one.
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Section 8 of 9:

Example Comfort Messages for Specific Situations

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1. 1
   For someone who lost a loved one I’m so sorry about your dad. He had such a pure heart, and I’ll never forget when he taught me how to change a flat tire. I can only imagine what you’re going through. There will be something special on your doorstep at 6 PM tonight, so keep an eye out—and let me know what else I can do to make this time a little easier for you and your family.
2. 2
   For someone who just lost a pet I’m so sorry to hear about Rocky. Losing a pet is never easy. They’re more than a pet; they’re family. You gave Rocky such a wonderful life, and he gave you so much joy. I’ll never forget the time he stole my hamburger.
   EXPERT TIP

   

   Adam Dorsay, PsyD

   Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker

   Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.

   

   Adam Dorsay, PsyD
   Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker

   Help people cope with losing a pet by affirming what they’re feeling. A lot of times, people who’ve lost a pet feel embarrassed because they feel sad. Assure them that this doesn’t have to be the case. A pet is a part of the family.
3. 3
   For someone going through a breakup I know things are tough right now, but know that you’re a great person—we care about you. It’s painful when a relationship ends. Know that we have your back and are here for whatever you may need.
4. 4
   For someone struggling with addiction I want you to know that I’m in this with you. We can fight this fight together. I believe in you. I care about you, and you don’t have to go through this alone.
5. 5
   For someone suffering with mental health You’re important to me, and nothing is ever going to change that. I’m on your team, no matter what, through thick and thin. I wish I could take away the pain you’re going through. But since I can’t, I’ll be here for anything you need. Plus, I give the best free hugs.
6. 6
   For someone diagnosed with a terminal illness When things get tough, know I’ll be there. You, my friend, are strong. I’ve truly never met anyone as resilient as you. If anyone can beat this, it’s you. I’m here to support you in whatever you need.
7. 7
   For someone who’s going through a lot of stress It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, and that’s totally unfair. If there’s anything I can do to help lessen the load, just let me know.
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Section 9 of 9:

How to Comfort Someone

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1. 1
   Do ask them what they need. Everyone finds comfort differently, so make sure to ask what they need in order to feel better. A simple, “How can I help?” or “What do you need right now?” can go a long way. Not only does this show you care, but it also opens the floor for them to reach out for help if they need it.

   • You can also try saying, “Know that I’m here for you. Never hesitate to reach out for anything,” or “How can I support you right now?”
2. 2
   Do validate their emotions. Developmental psychologist Leslie Bosch, PhD explains that one of the best ways to comfort someone is to “validate their experience.” Feeling grief, stress, or any other “negative” emotion can be scary and isolating. It can be easy to question these emotions or try to force yourself or them into a happy mood. This is why it’s important to validate whatever they’re feeling. There’s no right or wrong way to feel—everything they’re feeling is normal, and it’s good to express that.

   • Bottling up “negative” emotions or repressing them can cause greater levels of anger, fear, anxiety, and stress.
   • If you’re struggling, know that while it may be painful, it’s important to feel all your feelings and to give them space to feel theirs. It’s the first step toward healing.
3. 3
   Do be there for them. Sometimes, the best way to comfort someone is to just be there for them, no matter what. Being someone they can lean on and turn to in a time of need can be the best support. So, make sure you’re available when they reach out, or be willing to listen or talk when they need it.

   • In other words, be a safe space for them. Show kindness and empathy without judgment.
   • They might want to talk about what they’re feeling, or they may just want to sit in silence. Be willing to offer them both levels of support. Your presence alone could mean the world to them.
4. 4
   Do be patient. Everyone goes through grief differently. Have patience and give them space to work through their emotions in their own way at their own pace. The best thing you can do is be a comforting, understanding presence in the meantime.

   • For instance, some may work through their pain by staying busy and trying to “forget,” while others may want to take a break from their regular routine and talk out their feelings.
5. 5
   Don’t give unsolicited advice. Unless otherwise asked, stay clear of offering advice. Let them work through their thoughts, feelings, and emotions at their own pace. Rather than putting in your opinion, be a good listener by engaging in what they have to say without being judgmental.

   • If they ask for advice, that’s great! Just remember to be kind and considerate.
6. 6
   Don’t force them to “cheer up.” Bosch explains that “in our culture, there’s not a lot of support for people to grieve and they’re expected to buck up and move on, suck it up, and be strong.” However, grief and pain are different for everyone—everyone has their own timeline. So, try your best to avoid making them feel better or happier right away. Instead, let them go at their own pace. They’ll “cheer up” when it’s best for them.

   • This doesn’t mean you can’t offer things or activities to make them smile. Just try not to insist they smile or “have fun” if they don’t feel like it.
   • If you’re experiencing grief, know that you’re not alone. Take your time to process your emotions. There’s no rush to “feeling better.”
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