160+ Silly Poop Jokes and Puns That Don’t Stink

No matter how old you are, a poop joke will always bring out the kid in you and crack people up. It’s a classic punchline that never gets old, which is why we’re providing the ultimate list of poop jokes, puns, one-liners and euphemisms. Check out our pile of fresh ones below to make everyone giggle and groan!

Top-Tier Poop Jokes

What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
Where do cavemen poop? In a Neander-stall.
Why did the baker’s hands stink? He kneaded a poo.
Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks.
What’s the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopen.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
Why does Piglet always smell bad? Because he plays with Pooh.

Section 1 of 8:

Hilarious Poop Jokes

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Drop a fresh and funny poop joke for a stinkin’ good time. Poop jokes come in all shapes and sizes, sort of like their subject matter, and they’re a great way to turn an icky topic into a source of endless laughs. Here are some universally funny poop jokes to humor kids and adults alike:^{[1]
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- What do cows call poop? Moo-nure.
- What do you call a magical poop? Poodini.
- What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
- Where do cavemen poop? In a Neander-stall.
- Why did the cop sit on the toilet? To do his duty.
- Why was the poo late for the party? It got stuck!
- What do flies politely say to the other? “Is this stool taken?”
- Why do poos never win races? They’re always a little behind.
- What’s a poo’s favorite type of music? R&P (Rhythm & Poos)!
- What do you get when you poop in your overalls? Dung-arees.
- What did Spock find in the Enterprise toilet? The Captain’s Log.
- Why did the toilet paper refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to get flushed out.
- Why did the poo bring a ladder to the toilet? It wanted to climb up the rankings!
- Why did they install a toilet in the garbage heap? Everyone had to take a dump.
- Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
- What do you get when you cross a rhino and a toilet? No idea, but I’m not using that bathroom.
- Did you hear about the constipated composer? He had problems with his last movement.
- What did the fast-food worker say to the toilet? “Did you order a number two? I have one ready for you.”
- Why did the prankster put poop in the elevator? Because he wanted to take his pranks to the next level!
- What’s the similarity between poop and talent? Both will come out when it’s time for them to come out.
- What did the puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? “Stop making me laugh or I’ll puma pants!”

Section 2 of 8:

Poop Jokes for Adults

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Share a cheeky poop joke to make adults chuckle. Some people think poop jokes should be reserved for kids, but toilet humor can also crack up adults and bring out their inner child. Here are some clever and unexpected poop jokes that are so bad, they’re good:^{[2]
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- What are kings’ farts called? A noble gas.
- Why did the toilet seat cry? She got dumped.
- What’s a poo’s favorite dessert? Poo-fiteroles.
- What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
- Why did the poo fail its driving test? It couldn’t pass.
- What is a fart? A lonely cry from an abandoned turd.
- What’s brown and firm? The Brown Family Law Firm.
- What’s a surfer’s second greatest fear? A shark attack.
- What did the poo say when it got promoted? “I’m on a roll!”
- What’s the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopen.
- What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? Salad Shooter.
- How do you make a house made of dung smell better? Use poo-pourri!
- Why doesn’t Chuck Norris ever flush the toilet? He scares the poop out of it.
- Why don’t secret agents eat fiber? They don’t want to leave any traces behind.
- What do you get when you mix castor oil with holy water? A religious movement.
- Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist going to the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent.
- What do special effects designers call bowel movements? They’re called 3-D farts.
- Why do doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea? Because one guy likes it.
- When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? Dereliction of doodie.
- When does Denzel Washington usually need to hang out with the Rugrats? On potty training day.
- Why don’t people take their phones into the bathroom? They don’t want to give away their IP address.

Section 3 of 8:

Poop Jokes for Kids

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Crack a classic poop joke to connect with children. Poop is smelly, icky, and comedy gold for younger kids. So, use any of the following poop jokes to bond with children and have a great time together:^{[3]
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- What’s a poo’s favorite drink? Poot beer!
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick…or a poo!
- What’s a poo’s favorite game? Hide and stink.
- What’s a poo’s favorite holiday? April Stools’ Day!
- What’s a poo’s favorite dance move? The toilet twirl.
- What do you call a fairy in the bathroom? Stinkerbell.
- What do you call a bathroom superhero? Flush Gordon.
- When is the best time to go to the bathroom? Poo-thirty.
- What do you call Clark Kent with diarrhea? Poop-erman.
- Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks.
- Where can Woody and Buzz go number 2? In the toy-let.
- What does Superman call his bathroom? The Super Bowl.
- What did the little poo say to its mom? “Mom, I’ve got to go!”
- What’s big and brown and behind the wall? Humpty’s Dump.
- What’s your favorite cartoon? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turdles.
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
- Why does Piglet always smell bad? Because he plays with Pooh.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken next to him farted.
- Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!
- What is a piece of poop’s favorite dance move? Poopin’ and locking.
- Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? Because it’s his doody.

Section 4 of 8:

Poop Jokes About Babies

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Make parents giggle with jokes about newborns (& potty training). From newborn blowouts to potty-training meltdowns, there are tons of poop-related experiences that parents can relate to. Here are a few poop jokes to help a parent get through the next accident or leaky diaper:^{[4]
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- Why did the poo take a nap? It was wiped out!
- Wanna hear a poop joke? Nah, they always stink.
- Where do bees go to the bathroom? The BP station.
- What do a clown’s farts smell like? They smell funny.
- Why did the baker’s hands stink? He kneaded a poo.
- What did the poop say to the fart? “You blow me away.”
- What’s the definition of surprise? A fart with a lump in it.
- Which part of a trilogy is always a stinker? The turd part.
- What type of poop jokes should you never crack? The corny ones.
- Have you seen the new movie Constipated? It hasn’t come out yet.
- What’s the best snack for watching a movie that stinks? Poop-corn!
- Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget.
- What’s something great about poop jokes? They’ll make your cheeks hurt.
- Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? Everyone told her that they stink.
- How do you know if a poo’s telling a lie? You can smell it from a mile away!
- Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? It leaked so they had to release it early.
- Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Because it’s also called a restroom.
- What do parents and toilet paper have in common? They both deal with a lot of crap.
- What do you get when you combine a Sham-Wow and a Snuggie? A reason to pee in your pants.

Section 5 of 8:

Poop Knock-Knock Jokes

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Use a playful poop knock-knock joke to lighten the mood. Some knock-knock jokes have a reputation for being corny and cliché, but the following lines are guaranteed to tickle anyone’s funny bone. Here are some creative poop knock-knock jokes for easy laughs:^{[5]
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- Knock-knock. Who’s there? I eep. I eep who? Gross, you eat poo?!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No, you’re a poo!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? I did up. I did up who? Eww. You did a poo?
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke out, I’m about to fart!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Poop. Poop who? Haha, you said poo twice!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? I’m a pile of. I’m a pile of who? No, you’re not!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Poo. Poo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a poop joke!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Stinky. Stinky who? Yeah, your poo does stink.
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? I smell like. I smell like who? No, you smell fine.
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? No, I won’t smell your poo!

Section 6 of 8:

Poop Puns & One-Liners

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Drop a poop pun or one-liner to flush away all seriousness. Tons of poop-related words can be replaced in classic phrases and idioms you love. Here are the best poop puns and one-liners to get the potty started:^{[6]
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- Poop is a crap palindrome.
- My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
- Poop jokes aren’t my favorite, but they’re a solid #2.
- Poop jokes? I just hate when they’re too corny or run on.
- When bears poop in the woods, is the smell unbearable?
- Two rolls of toilet paper walked into a bar. One rolled out.
- Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
- I like toilets for two reasons. Number one and number two.
- People who tell you that they’re constipated are full of crap.
- If pooping is the call of nature…Is farting like a missed call?
- I was going to tell you another poop joke, but it’s too crappy.
- Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans.
- Poop jokes don’t always get the potty started…but they sure do finish it.
- Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reasons.
- Parent’s truth: The further you are from the bathroom, the more urgently your kid needs to poop.
- The person who originally said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never had diarrhea.
- You never really appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
- Children are like farts. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone else’s are horrendous.
- I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.
- People say love is the best feeling ever…but I think finding a toilet when you’re having diarrhea is better.

Section 7 of 8:

Bathroom Jokes

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Get the laughs going with some good ol’ toilet humor. There are tons of toilet jokes to alleviate the tension and bring out all the smiles in a room. Here are some jokes about everyone’s favorite trip (aka the bathroom) that are too funny to flush away:^{[7]
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- Where do sheep like to play? In the baaa-throom.
- Where does the volcano relieve itself? In the lava-tory.
- Why is the toilet a good place for a nap? It’s in the restroom.
- Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? It wasn’t his doodie.
- What is something you never appreciate until it’s gone? Toilet paper.
- How can you unlock a toilet when you are in a hurry? With a doo-key.
- What did the conditioner bottle do to the toilet seat? He shampooed it.
- How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? Just a phew.
- What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl? “You’re looking flushed.”
- When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? When it has a leek in it!
- Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
- What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? You let it finish!
- Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? Because not all banks accept deposits.
- If you’re an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? Euro-pee-an.
- What did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? She was a party pooper.
- Why couldn’t the police officers find the toilet thief? Because they had nothing to go on.
- Why were there candles on the toilet seat? Because there was a surprise birthday potty.
- What’s the difference between good and bad toilet paper? One is terrible, and one is tearable.
- What does an octopus do after using the toilet? They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands.
- Did you hear about the golden toilet that was stolen? It hasn’t been found yet, but the owner said he’ll be relieved when it is.

Section 8 of 8:

Poop Euphemisms

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Use a euphemism to talk about poop in a hilarious way. Pooping is one of the most taboo topics to bring up in conversation, even though everyone does it and it’s totally natural. The next time you want to tell people you’re pooping, without telling them you’re pooping, try one of these creative euphemisms:^{[8]
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- Hit paydirt.
- Chop a log.
- Lay a brick.
- Bake a loaf.
- Float a trout.
- Log an entry.
- Drop a deuce.
- Drop a dookie.
- Leaving a load.
- Bomb the bowl.
- Park some bark.
- Launch a torpedo.
- Do the royal squat.
- Taking a steam pile.
- Offload some freight.
- Make room for lunch.
- Punish the porcelain.
- Launch a butt shuttle.
- Barbarians at the gate.
- Drop the kids off at the pool.
- Releasing the chocolate hostage.
- Make a deposit at the porcelain bank.
- Other words for poop include: poopoo, doodoo, caca, number two, turd, crap, droppings, waste, feces, fecal matter, dung, stool, and manure.