The 55+ Funniest Duck Jokes for Kids & Adults

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Plus, how to deliver a funny duck joke to make it land

Co-authored by Kendall Payne and Aimee Payne, MFA

Last Updated: May 27, 2025 Fact Checked

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Hilarious Duck Jokes

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Short

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For Kids

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For Adults

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Puns

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Buddy Hackett’s Duck Joke

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Expert Advice on Joke Delivery

Looking to hatch a duck joke that makes everyone laugh hard enough to shake a tail feather? Then, you’ve come to the right place. This article includes more than 55 hilarious duck jokes, puns, and one-liners for kids and adults. Plus, we spoke with standup comedian Kendall Payne and public speaking coach Patrick Muñoz for their best advice on when and how to tell a joke.

The Best Jokes About Ducks

What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo? Quackodiles.
What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nut-quacker.
What state do most ducks live in? South Duck-ota.
What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Animal quack-ers.
What language does a multilingual duck speak? Portu-geese.

Section 1 of 7:

Hilarious Duck Jokes

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Drop a duck joke to break tension and make people laugh. Laughter is a great way to improve your mood, relieve stress, and break tension.^{[1]
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Go to source} So, try one of these hysterical duck jokes that are perfect for jokers of all ages:
- Why do ducks have feathers? To cover up their butt quacks.
- What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo? Quackodiles.
- What game did the duck play at the arcade? Quack-a-mole.
- What do you call a duckling who opens his Christmas presents early? A Peking duck.
- Why did the duck go to the chiropractor? To get its back quacked.
- A duck walks into the pharmacy and buys chapstick. The cashier says, “Cash or charge?” The duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”
- What happens when a female duck gets the hiccups? She lays scrambled eggs.
- Did the duck couple make plans for their night out? No, they decided to wing it.
- What do you call a devout duck? A bird of pray.
- What language does a multilingual duck speak? Portu-geese.
- What is the ideal career for a duck? Web design.
- Why did the duck end up in jail? He was selling quack.

Section 2 of 7:

Short Duck Jokes & One-Liners

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Drop a short duck joke or one-liner to catch people off guard. The element of surprise is one of the main reasons people find things funny.^{[2]
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Research source} Tell one of these short and sweet duck jokes to surprise a laugh out of everyone:
- What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
- What says "Quick, Quick"? A duck with the hiccups
- Ducks never pay for anything. They just say to put it on their bill.
- Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.
- Why does a duck say quack? Because it can't say moo.
- When is roast duck really bad for you? When you’re the duck.
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nut-quacker.
- How do you get down off a horse? You don't, you get down off a duck.
- Why was the duck destined for a life of crime? He was a bad egg.
- Why was the duck put into the basketball game? To make a fowl shot.
- What do physics ducks say? Quark.
- What do you call a duck on drugs? A quackhead.
- Which musician do ducks listen to the most? Drake.

Section 3 of 7:

Super-Silly Duck Jokes for Kids

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Tell a truly silly kid-friendly joke to make the little quackers laugh. Sharing jokes with kids is a great way to help them develop communication skills and a sense of humor.^{[3]
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Research source} Drop one of these silly duck jokes on one of your favorite ducklings to give them a giggle:
- What’s a duck’s favorite part of the news? The feather forecast.
- What do you call a bird that can heal anything? A duck-tor.
- What state do most ducks live in? South Duck-ota.
- What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks? Firequackers.
- What robs you while you’re in the bathtub? A robber ducky.
- Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.
- What was the secret agent duck named? James Pond.
- Why did the duck get detention? He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
- Why do ducks fly south? Because it’s too far to walk.
- What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie? Lord of the Wings.
- What did the cow and duck name their new rock band? Cheese and quackers.
- What do you call movies that ducks like to watch? Duck-umentaries.
- Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.
- What do you call a crate that’s filled with a bunch of ducks? A box of quackers.

Section 4 of 7:

Dirty Duck Jokes for Adults Only

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Get a little risqué with a funny duck joke for adults only. Sometimes, a crude joke is just plain funny. Just make sure you’re choosing your audience wisely. Keep these jokes for adults only and avoid telling them at work.^{[4]
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Research source} Here are a few adult-only dirty duck jokes to tell your friends:
- A hunter shoots a duck then turns to his friend and says, “I’m going to mount that duck.” The friend looks at him for a minute and says, “I won’t tell your wife, but I’m not going to watch.”
- Three ducks walk into a bar. "What's your name?" the bartender asks the first duck. “Huey,” the duck says. “How's your day been, Huey?” asks the bartender. Huey replies, “Great! I've been in and out of puddles all day long. What more could a duck want?” The bartender turns to the second duck. “And what's your name?” “Dewey,” replies the second duck. “And how’s your day been, Dewey?” “I've been in and out of puddles all day long too!” he replies. The bartender turns to the third duck and says, “I suppose your name is Louie.” The third duck shakes its head. “No. I’m Puddles.”
- A guy with a duck on his head walks into a bar. The bartender says “Can I help you?” The duck says “Yeah, you can get this guy off my a'.”
- A duck checks into a hotel. A few minutes later, he calls down to the front desk and asks them to send up a condom. The desk agent says, “Would you like us to put that on your bill?” The duck says, “No! I’ll suffocate!”

Section 5 of 7:

Rib-Tickling Duck Puns

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Hit them in the funny bone with a hilarious duck pun. A pun is a type of joke that plays off different definitions of the same word…or one that sounds very similar.^{[5]
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Research source} While many people react to puns with a groan, these jokes were liberally used by Shakespeare to get a laugh from his audiences. Here are a few clever—or silly—duck puns for you to try out on your friends:
- What time do ducks get up? The quack of dawn.
- Why do ducks like campfires? They love seeing them quackle at night.
- What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Animal quackers.
- What did the duck detective say to his partner? Let’s quack this case.
- Why don’t ducks need smartphones? They already have the web at their feet.
- Why can't birds play baseball? They're always ducking or hitting fowl balls.
- What do mallards eat at a baseball game? Quacker-jacks.
- Did you hear about the duck that swam into sewage? He smelled fowl.
- Why don’t ducks go to the doctor? Because they think they're a bunch of quacks.
- What game does a duck play at the bar? Bill-iards.
- Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk? She tripped on a quack.
- What do ducks eat with their soup? Soda quackers.

Section 6 of 7:

Buddy Hackett’s Famous Duck Joke

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Tell them a famous duck joke from the legendary comedian. Buddy Hackett was an actor and comedian who was known for both crude standup routines and starring in family-friendly movies made by Disney. He even voiced Scuttle the seagull in Disney’s The Little Mermaid.^{[6]
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Research source} Here’s the duck joke he famously told on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson on August 27, 1987:
- This guy shoots a duck. It falls, hits a barn, and goes into a guy’s yard. This guy climbs over the fence, and he goes into the yard to get this duck.
  A farmer comes out and he’s a big guy. He says, “What are you doing in my yard?”
  The guy says, “I’ve come to get the duck. It’s my duck.”
  The farmer says, “This is not your duck. This is my yard. That duck fell and hit my barn.”
  The guy says, “That’s not your duck. I shot the duck. I've been out hunting for a couple of days. Give me a break. You know, I’m from the city.”
  The farmer says, “You’re from the city? Well, you don’t understand about property, do you? This is my property. It’s my duck. However, I’ll give you a chance at the duck. We can settle this country style.”
  The guy says, “Country style?”
  The farmer says, “Yeah.”
  The guy asks, “How do you settle it country style?”
  The farmer says, “How? I kick you in the groin. And then you kick me in the groin. And we take turns kicking each other in the groin. Whoever’s left keeps the duck.”
  The guy says, “Well, if that’s what I have to do.”
  The farmer says, “I go first.” He hauls off and…WHACK.
  The guy falls to the ground moaning in pain. When he recovers, he says to the farmer, “I guess it’s my turn.”
  The farmer says, “You can have the duck.”

Section 7 of 7:

How to Deliver Your Duck Joke Well

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Pick the right duck joke for the situation and audience. Muñoz suggests using humor carefully in serious situations and always paying attention to your audience’s reaction.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Patrick Muñoz
Public Speaking Coach

Expert Interview} For example, a duck joke that normally kills at parties might go over like a lead balloon at a funeral.
- Part of being funny is the ability to read the room by paying attention to the mood and listening to what people are talking about.
- If you’re hearing a lot of laughter, listen to the types of things people are laughing at. Then, match your joke to the overall vibe.
- If you’re in a crowd that includes kids and adults, stick to jokes that are funny, appropriate, and understandable for all ages to get the most laughs.
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Pause before delivering the punchline. Timing is everything when you’re delivering a joke. That’s especially true when you’re dropping the punchline. Good comedic timing involves using pauses and how quickly—or slowly—you speak to make a joke even funnier.^{[8]
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Research source} For example, the classic Henny Youngman joke, “Take my wife…please,” wouldn’t be as funny without the pause before “please.”
- One of the most famous forms of comedic timing is the “pregnant pause.” This is pausing after the joke’s set up to build tension for the punchline.
- Just remember, even the funniest joke can fall flat if the timing is off. Pause just long enough for people to start to think about the setup.
- Don’t give them too much time to figure out the gag or the punchline might be disappointing.
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Don’t take it personally if your joke doesn’t get a laugh. Payne says that sometimes your joke will bomb, but that’s okay. Not getting laughs is just part of telling jokes.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Kendall Payne
Writer, Director, & Stand-up Comedian

Expert Interview} The best thing you can do when a joke bombs is to shrug it off and move on.
- Payne advises to “just have fun, do your best, but know that you’ll probably fail the first few times.”^{[10]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kendall Payne
  Writer, Director, & Stand-up Comedian
  
  Expert Interview}
- The good news is that you’ll get better at telling jokes the more you do it. Payne says you just have to be confident and believe in yourself when you’re telling a joke.^{[11]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kendall Payne
  Writer, Director, & Stand-up Comedian
  
  Expert Interview}