This article was co-authored by Jessica Lanyadoo and by wikiHow staff writer, Maryana Lucia Vestic, MFA, M.Phil.. Jessica Lanyadoo is a Humanistic Astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator with over 30 years of professional experience. Known for her grounded and accessible approach, she helps individuals cultivate emotional intelligence and navigate life with clarity. She is the author of Meditations for Your Sign (2025) and Astrology for Real Relationships (2020) and hosts the acclaimed podcast Ghost of a Podcast. Her work has been featured in CNN, The Today Show, Rolling Stone, Vogue Italia, Time Magazine, Oprah Magazine, and more.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 897,382 times.
Scorpio women are passionate, independent, and complex, often surrounding themselves with an air of mystery. Falling for her can be an intense and thrilling experience, but how can you make her love you back? Read on for expert advice from astrologers Angel Eyedealism and Jessica Lanyadoo on how to attract and start a relationship with this special sign. You’ll also discover helpful info on communicating with a Scorpio woman, her turn-ons and turn-offs, what kind of man she's looking for, and more.
Be assertive, confident, and sincere to get her attention. Women who identify as Scorpios are generally driven, self-assured, and in for the chase. They don’t want to waste time on someone shy, deceitful, or lacking confidence in themselves. She’ll be able to tell if you’re putting on a front, so start things off right by being yourself.[1]XResearch source
Being assertive doesn’t mean the same thing as being aggressive when flirting. You can be assertive by speaking confidently and standing behind what you believe.
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Take your time getting to know her. Eyedealism believes that if you come on strong with your romantic feelings, you risk pushing her away.[2]XExpert SourceAngel Eyedealism Astrologer & Performance ArtistExpert Interview Lanyadoo notes that it can be hard to gain a Scorpio woman’s trust, so take the time to get to know her likes, dislikes, hobbies, and friends.[3]XExpert SourceJessica Lanyadoo Astrologer & Psychic MediumExpert Interview Try some of these fun ways to get to know her better:
Pay attention to her social media to see what kinds of things she likes.
Try saying, “Tell me more,” to get her to share more personal information with you.
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Give her with thoughtful gifts and compliments. Pay attention to what she likes and talks about to get gift ideas, says Lanyadoo.[4]XExpert SourceJessica Lanyadoo Astrologer & Psychic MediumExpert Interview When you pay her a compliment, make it specific—and, while you can compliment her looks, don’t neglect her intelligence, humor, and attitude, too.
For example, if she mentions that she loves a specific coffee shop, stop by there and get her a gift card. Or, if she loves hitting the gym, get her a gift certificate for a massage or a new yoga mat.
To compliment her sincerely, keep things specific. For example, instead of saying, “You look nice today,” say something like, “That color of green brings out your beautiful eye color.” Or tell her you admire something she accomplished recently, like running a marathon or acing a presentation at work.
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Avoid being clingy or controlling. A Scorpio woman loves her independence, and astrologists say that a major turn-off is when someone tries to cramp her lifestyle. If you call or text her, try not to contact her again until she responds to you. If she turns down a date or says she’s busy, wait a week before trying again. Avoid telling her how she should act, dress, or deal with a situation unless she asks for your advice.[5]XResearch source
If she does ask for your help or opinion about something, that is a great sign and means she’s beginning to trust you.
Tip: Remember that she is a dynamic and complex individual. It may be tempting to say she has certain characteristics because she’s a Scorpio, but she is an individual and can’t fit into a box.
5
Be honest and loyal. Otherwise, you risk losing her trust. While she may like a little bit of mystery, lying and dishonesty will turn her off for sure. Commit to telling the truth and acting in a trustworthy way—this means not having other relationships on the side or hiding anything from her.
If you do lie about something, come clean before she catches you. For example, if you told her you quit smoking but haven’t, it’d be better to talk to her about the situation rather than have her find a pack of cigarettes in your pocket.
Reader Poll: We asked 614 wikiHow readers who are Scorpios what's most important to them in a relationship, and 69% of them said loyalty. [Take Poll]
If you want to win her heart, you'll have to prove that you're totally trustworthy.
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Keep her in the loop so she feels secure in your relationship. Astrologists say that Scorpio women, while fiercely independent, also like to feel secure in a relationship—in fact, that’s often why it takes them so long to settle down. If you like her, don’t play games by ignoring her texts or calls or being unavailable for long periods. Let her know she's a priority and that you won’t leave her hanging.[6]XResearch source
Like many women, Scorpio women don’t like games. When she likes you, she doesn’t want to question how important she is to you, so don’t make her.
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Respect her boundaries and encourage her interests. Lanyadoo notes that a great way to keep your relationship vibrant is to make sure she is taking the time she needs for herself.[7]XExpert SourceJessica Lanyadoo Astrologer & Psychic MediumExpert Interview If she feels stifled or bored, she may to grow to resent you.
For example, if there is a class she wants to take, encourage her to register. If she loves going out with her friends on the weekend, don’t try to monopolize all of her time.
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Allow her to take the lead. Unless she gives you a signal that she wants you to take charge, it’ll help the balance in your relationship if you let her give advice and make decisions. This will show her that you respect her intelligence and value her leadership.[8]XResearch source
As she likes and trusts you more and more, chances are she’ll ask for your help with things. But if you try to take control of the relationship, she might withdraw from you.
Tip: Make it a point to ask for her advice about your work, friendships, and life decisions. She’ll feel valued and will probably have some really good opinions to share.
9
Experience new things together to keep things fresh. In addition to making sure she feels independent and challenged in her personal life, make sure you’re experiencing things together to help create a stronger bond. Take a cooking class together, travel somewhere new, join a book club, train for a triathlon, or do a home project.[9]XResearch source
Boredom and unvaried routine are bound to make her antsy. Every couple of weeks, come up with something new to do if you feel like things are getting a little too “normal.”
Plan a date that embraces the spirit of adventure. Scorpio women love discovering new places, experiences, or activities that they see as edgy or super interesting. This doesn’t mean you have to plan a weekend getaway when you want to date a Scorpio; you can easily play tourist in your town by visiting unique attractions others don’t normally try. Better yet, explore without looking at your phone or using GPS to know where you’re going.
Invite her to go out for a drink or meal so you can spend one-on-one time together.
Appeal to her edgy side by planning a murder mystery dinner where she can dress up to match the characters in question; she’ll have a ball trying to figure out whodunit while getting to know you better.
Have a drink at a local speakeasy that can transport her to the time of Prohibition. She’ll adore the sense of secrecy and exclusivity that transforms having a cocktail into a whole new experience.
Test her mettle by challenging her to go skydiving with you. It’ll allow her to show off her sense of adventure and prove to be an exhilarating time.
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Take her somewhere exclusive that makes her feel special. Whether the night involves a new bar, musical act, or attraction, Scorpios love being in the know before anyone else is. Take a chance on an edgy art exhibit, an avant-garde band, or a unique tasting menu, and watch her fall in love with you.
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Plan romantic surprises to sweep her off her feet. A romantic weekend away, a dinner at a high-end restaurant, tickets to her favorite musical—grand gestures can go a long way in getting her to fall for you. Plus, taking a risk and planning something big shows her that you’re confident and willing to take charge sometimes.[10]XResearch source
Romantic surprises don’t have to be expensive. For example, if she is a book lover, surprise her by taking her to a reading by an author she loves. Or plan a special picnic lunch, complete with champagne.
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Get her adrenaline pumping with risk-taking activities. Scorpio women love dates that include a little danger, so think advanced hikes, roller coasters, and zip-lining. She’ll love embracing that feeling of excitement that only comes with physically charged, adventurous activities. She’ll end up telling all her friends about how she rocked that mountain climbing, white water rafting, or off-road biking escapade.
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Appeal to her love of all things luxurious. Treat your female Scorpio right by indulging in a spa day or a weekend at a cabin where she can soak in a hot tub with a glass of champagne. Other dates can focus on a shopping spree or a tasting menu at a trendy restaurant. Romantic touches, like taking her for a horse-drawn carriage ride, will only add to her enjoyment of the date.
Scorpio women are known for having a seriously strong libido. They’re very focused on sex itself and will want to enjoy lots of intimate time with you, as long as you pay attention to them and treat them right. They’re turned on by everything they can imagine sexually, so be as open as they are to new ideas, kinks, and experiences; it’ll keep the seduction interesting enough for them going forward.
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Female Scorpios don’t like the idea of being a friend with benefits. They’re very emotionally invested in a physical relationship and become quite attached. If you’re keeping them to the side and not completely focused on your intimate relationship, you risk losing them. Scorpios also don’t kiss and tell, so if you share any information about being intimate with them, they’re liable to feel betrayed.
Intuitive They often know what you’re thinking before you say it. No matter what your mood is, Scorpios have a great sense of intuition, and they’re sure to use it to show you how well they understand and empathize with you.
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Loyal They’re not great at surface-level relations and crave connections that are built on meaningful foundations. It’s not always an easy relationship, but you’ll find your Scorpio woman nothing short of exhilarating.
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Focused Whether it’s work, passions, or people in her life, a Scorpio female is focused and unstoppable. If you’re lucky enough to be her partner, she’ll do anything for you and prove her loyalty again and again.
4
Emotional While it can be thrilling to be in a relationship with them, their intense nature may have you wishing that they took a step back sometimes. It can be exhausting dealing with the many emotions a Scorpio has at their fingertips, so have patience with them whenever possible.
5
Prone to jealousy Scorpio women love so deeply that their grip on you may feel somewhat tight at times; they’re not clingy, but just super zealous. It can be difficult to get used to this level of dedication, which means you’ll have to adjust if you’re not equally as fervent.[11]XResearch source
Scorpio is most compatible with Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, and Pisces. They typically have an easier time with other water signs, who are known for emotional depth and sensitivity, and grounded, reliable earth signs. Generally, top matches for Scorpio include:[12]XResearch source
Taurus: Sister signs who share a deep and sensual bond.
Virgo: Virgo’s practicality balances out Scorpio’s intensity.
Capricorn: Mutual respect and ambition form a deep, stable relationship.
Cancer: They have a shared love of emotional security and loyalty.
Pisces: Deeply emotional and intuitive signs make for a supportive bond.
2
Scorpio is least compatible with Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius. Scorpios have a much more difficult time forming lasting romantic relationships with air signs, who are social, curious, and analytical; they also struggle with fire signs, known for being overly passionate, impulsive, and impatient. Generally, the worst matches for Scorpio include:[13]XResearch source
Gemini: Serious Scorpios clash with Gemini’s adaptable nature.
Libra: Scorpios often disrupt Libra’s desire for harmony.
Aquarius: Aquarius isn’t emotionally giving enough and craves alone time.
Aries: It leads to power struggles since Aries is too impulsive.
Leo: Both are strong-willed and find it hard to compromise.
Sagittarius: Difficult reconciling differences between intimacy and freedom.
Scorpios are born between October 23 and November 21. They’re a water sign associated with passion, intensity, and emotional depth. Their symbol is a scorpion, while their ruling planets are Mars and Pluto, which are linked with transformation and a deep sense of the unconscious.
I went on a date with someone recently and they told me they were a Scorpio and idk if that's a red flag or not. I've heard that Scorpios are obsessive and difficult to be in a relationship with, is that facts or nah? I kinda wanna go on a second date but idk if I should so pls help
As a Scorpio myself, I’d say dating a Scorpio isn’t necessarily "hard," but it can be intense. We value loyalty and trust the most, so if those things are broken, the relationship can be difficult. But if you're open, patient, and not afraid of vulnerability, you’ll find that dating a Scorpio can be incredibly rewarding.
Scorpio is an obsessive sign. They're looking for someone to obsess over and they're going to provide a series of tests to gauge your loyalty to them. For example, they may play hard to get or act obsequious. If they sense that you're not matching their intense energy, they're gonna lose interest. Scorpio is also a very sensual sign, so if they not sensing that you're sexually interested in them, they will lose interest. So you would definitely need to engage in sex or intimacy with a Scorpio in order for them to fall for you. Scorpios want to dive deep into issues and topics. They're not a superficial sign, so they'll be turned off if you're very shallow. They like intensity and passion. If they don't feel engaged, enthralled, sexual, and intimate with you, then they're not going to have interest in you. So there has to be something intriguing. But also, if you provide a little bit of a mystery that they need to unravel, that will keep them pulling on the yarn forever. So don't give it all up right away! Leave a veil of mystery and then they will be intrigued and obsess over you because they always have to obsess.
If they're jealous or obsessive and you show even the tiniest bit of interest in other people, a Scorpio will show you their vulnerability (which is their most cherished prize). Scorpios like to keep their vulnerability to themselves, so if a Scorpio shows you their inner sensitivity, that means they trust you enough to love you. Without vulnerability, there is no intimacy, and that's why Scorpio is the sign of intimacy, because they like to lay bare of all things so that they can get inside.
Scorpios are all or nothing, do or die. But they're also the most distrustful sign, so if they show anything that indicates trust in you—like talking about marriage or moving in together—that means they are serious about you. And another sign they're serious about you is if they tell you their secrets. They see secrets as powerful weapons, so a Scorpio revealing their secrets means that they're very serious about you because they have trusted you with their secrets.
Learn How to Attract a Scorpio Woman with this Expert Series
Scorpio women are seductive, mysterious, and magnetic. They give clear signs when they like you, and we've put together this expert series to help you read those signs and attract the Scorpio woman of your dreams.
Jessica Lanyadoo is a Humanistic Astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator with over 30 years of professional experience. Known for her grounded and accessible approach, she helps individuals cultivate emotional intelligence and navigate life with clarity. She is the author of Meditations for Your Sign (2025) and Astrology for Real Relationships (2020) and hosts the acclaimed podcast Ghost of a Podcast. Her work has been featured in CNN, The Today Show, Rolling Stone, Vogue Italia, Time Magazine, Oprah Magazine, and more.
Scorpios can get very attached quite easily, as they are a water sign that is also fixed. When their emotions are strong, they can get as attached to those emotions as a fixed sign might.
Jessica Lanyadoo is a Humanistic Astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator with over 30 years of professional experience. Known for her grounded and accessible approach, she helps individuals cultivate emotional intelligence and navigate life with clarity. She is the author of Meditations for Your Sign (2025) and Astrology for Real Relationships (2020) and hosts the acclaimed podcast Ghost of a Podcast. Her work has been featured in CNN, The Today Show, Rolling Stone, Vogue Italia, Time Magazine, Oprah Magazine, and more.
When you're dating or flirting with a Scorpio sun person, you want to be attentive to what they are saying as well as their body language. You should also respect their privacy. If you respect their privacy and limitations, you can win their trust.
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How do I win my Scorpio woman back to my love again?
Sarah Battilana
Community Answer
That depends on what happened to end the relationship in the first place. If you broke her trust, you need to give her time and space. A sincere apology can do wonders for repairing a relationship, but you may just need to step back and see if she'll return on her own.
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If you do hurt her or lie to her, give her space to figure out what she wants and how she feels. It may take some time, but if you hound her, she’ll start to drift away from you.
Be hesitant to overshare when you’re first getting to know her, but if she starts asking questions about your life, feel free to go deep and give her heartfelt answers.
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
Keep in mind that Scorpios like taking the lead, so it's alright if you're a little shy or submissive, as long you still know how to speak your mind and assert yourself when needed.
Never lie to a Scorpio! They don't easily forget things you do to hurt them.
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This article was co-authored by Jessica Lanyadoo and by wikiHow staff writer, Maryana Lucia Vestic, MFA, M.Phil.. Jessica Lanyadoo is a Humanistic Astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator with over 30 years of professional experience. Known for her grounded and accessible approach, she helps individuals cultivate emotional intelligence and navigate life with clarity. She is the author of Meditations for Your Sign (2025) and Astrology for Real Relationships (2020) and hosts the acclaimed podcast Ghost of a Podcast. Her work has been featured in CNN, The Today Show, Rolling Stone, Vogue Italia, Time Magazine, Oprah Magazine, and more. This article has been viewed 897,382 times.
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 897,382 times.
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Dec 15, 2021
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Be assertive, confident, and sincere to get her attention. Women who identify as Scorpios are generally driven, self-assured, and in for the chase. They don’t want to waste time on someone shy, deceitful, or lacking confidence in themselves. She’ll be able to tell if you’re putting on a front, so start things off right by being yourself.[1]
Take your time getting to know her. Eyedealism believes that if you come on strong with your romantic feelings, you risk pushing her away.[2] Lanyadoo notes that it can be hard to gain a Scorpio woman’s trust, so take the time to get to know her likes, dislikes, hobbies, and friends.[3] Try some of these fun ways to get to know her better:
Give her with thoughtful gifts and compliments. Pay attention to what she likes and talks about to get gift ideas, says Lanyadoo.[4] When you pay her a compliment, make it specific—and, while you can compliment her looks, don’t neglect her intelligence, humor, and attitude, too.
Avoid being clingy or controlling. A Scorpio woman loves her independence, and astrologists say that a major turn-off is when someone tries to cramp her lifestyle. If you call or text her, try not to contact her again until she responds to you. If she turns down a date or says she’s busy, wait a week before trying again. Avoid telling her how she should act, dress, or deal with a situation unless she asks for your advice.[5]
Be honest and loyal. Otherwise, you risk losing her trust. While she may like a little bit of mystery, lying and dishonesty will turn her off for sure. Commit to telling the truth and acting in a trustworthy way—this means not having other relationships on the side or hiding anything from her.
Keep her in the loop so she feels secure in your relationship. Astrologists say that Scorpio women, while fiercely independent, also like to feel secure in a relationship—in fact, that’s often why it takes them so long to settle down. If you like her, don’t play games by ignoring her texts or calls or being unavailable for long periods. Let her know she's a priority and that you won’t leave her hanging.[6]
Respect her boundaries and encourage her interests. Lanyadoo notes that a great way to keep your relationship vibrant is to make sure she is taking the time she needs for herself.[7] If she feels stifled or bored, she may to grow to resent you.
Allow her to take the lead. Unless she gives you a signal that she wants you to take charge, it’ll help the balance in your relationship if you let her give advice and make decisions. This will show her that you respect her intelligence and value her leadership.[8]
Experience new things together to keep things fresh. In addition to making sure she feels independent and challenged in her personal life, make sure you’re experiencing things together to help create a stronger bond. Take a cooking class together, travel somewhere new, join a book club, train for a triathlon, or do a home project.[9]
Jessica LanyadooJessica Lanyadoo is a Humanistic Astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator with over 30 years of professional experience. Known for her grounded and accessible approach, she helps individuals cultivate emotional intelligence and navigate life with clarity. She is the author of Meditations for Your Sign (2025) and Astrology for Real Relationships (2020) and hosts the acclaimed podcast Ghost of a Podcast. Her work has been featured in CNN, The Today Show, Rolling Stone, Vogue Italia, Time Magazine, Oprah Magazine, and more.
Sarah BattilanaCommunity AnswerThat depends on what happened to end the relationship in the first place. If you broke her trust, you need to give her time and space. A sincere apology can do wonders for repairing a relationship, but you may just need to step back and see if she'll return on her own.
"I am a Scorpio woman and this article helped me realize the turn down factors that I had gone through in my past relationship and it is a 100% accurate for real! It has kinda made me be more certain that breaking up was the right decision."..." more
