What are some deep questions I can ask my girlfriend?
I (26 M) have been dating a girl (27 F) for six months now. We’re pretty firmly planted in our relationship now and it’s beginning to feel like we know most of the typical stuff you’d want to know about another person. I’m starting to run out of really good or interesting questions to ask her to spark deep convos. Anyone have some interesting, romantic, or just generally deep questions I could ask to improve our connection?
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For a complete guide to this topic, read the wikiHow article 155+ Flirty, Spicy & Deep Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend.
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As a couples therapist, I use a lot of Gottman’s work. There’s tons of different questions. You can ask each other, love, language, quizzes, and we sell a bunch of really great games for couples on this website at my practice, Astute Wellness Services.
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While it can be helpful to work off of a list of questions, I find it's often most effective to deepen your connection with a partner by asking questions that call back to complex subjects they've mentioned before. It's also important to approach these conversations from a place of genuine care, and to give your girlfriend space to talk. It's great to ask deep questions to build a bond, but make sure you're listening and validating her responses when she answers them, too!
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Here are some **interesting, deep, and romantic questions** you can ask to spark meaningful conversations and strengthen your connection:
### 🌟 **Thought-Provoking & Deep Questions:**
1. *If you could relive one day in your life, exactly as it was, which day would you choose and why?*
2. *What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance or courage to try?*
3. *What do you think is the biggest lesson life has taught you so far?*
4. *If you could have dinner with any version of yourself from the past, what advice would you give?*
5. *Do you believe people meet for a reason or is it just coincidence?*
### ❤️ **Romantic & Emotional Connection Questions:**
6. *What’s something small I do that makes you feel loved, even if I don’t realize it?*
7. *How do you define “home”? Is it a place, a person, or a feeling?*
8. *What was your first thought about me when we met, and how has it changed since then?*
9. *If we could escape anywhere right now for a romantic getaway, where would you want to go?*
10. *What’s your idea of the perfect date—not just the setting, but how it feels?*
### 💭 **Imaginative & Fun “What-If” Questions:**
11. *If we could live in any era in history together, when would it be and why?*
12. *What would our lives be like if we met as kids? Do you think we’d still be drawn to each other?*
13. *If we found a time capsule from our future selves, what do you hope would be inside?*
14. *If you had to describe our relationship using only movie titles, what would you pick?*
15. *What do you think our life would look like 5 years from now if everything went perfectly?*
### ✨ **Intimacy-Building Questions:**
16. *What’s something you’ve always wanted to tell someone but never felt safe enough to share?*
17. *When do you feel the most confident and secure in yourself?*
18. *What’s a memory from your childhood that shaped who you are today?*
19. *What’s your love language, and how do you feel most appreciated?*
20. *Is there something you’ve never done in a relationship that you’d love to experience with me?*
The key is not just to ask the questions but to listen actively, react with genuine curiosity, and share your own thoughts too. This creates deeper emotional intimacy. ❤️
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### 🌟 **Thought-Provoking & Deep Questions:**
1. *If you could relive one day in your life, exactly as it was, which day would you choose and why?*
2. *What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance or courage to try?*
3. *What do you think is the biggest lesson life has taught you so far?*
4. *If you could have dinner with any version of yourself from the past, what advice would you give?*
5. *Do you believe people meet for a reason or is it just coincidence?*
### ❤️ **Romantic & Emotional Connection Questions:**
6. *What’s something small I do that makes you feel loved, even if I don’t realize it?*
7. *How do you define “home”? Is it a place, a person, or a feeling?*
8. *What was your first thought about me when we met, and how has it changed since then?*
9. *If we could escape anywhere right now for a romantic getaway, where would you want to go?*
10. *What’s your idea of the perfect date—not just the setting, but how it feels?*
### 💭 **Imaginative & Fun “What-If” Questions:**
11. *If we could live in any era in history together, when would it be and why?*
12. *What would our lives be like if we met as kids? Do you think we’d still be drawn to each other?*
13. *If we found a time capsule from our future selves, what do you hope would be inside?*
14. *If you had to describe our relationship using only movie titles, what would you pick?*
15. *What do you think our life would look like 5 years from now if everything went perfectly?*
### ✨ **Intimacy-Building Questions:**
16. *What’s something you’ve always wanted to tell someone but never felt safe enough to share?*
17. *When do you feel the most confident and secure in yourself?*
18. *What’s a memory from your childhood that shaped who you are today?*
19. *What’s your love language, and how do you feel most appreciated?*
20. *Is there something you’ve never done in a relationship that you’d love to experience with me?*
The key is not just to ask the questions but to listen actively, react with genuine curiosity, and share your own thoughts too. This creates deeper emotional intimacy. ❤️
Maybe you'll find some of these questions interesting!
- What is your idea of happiness?
- What do you think makes a life "good"?
- What do you want to be remembered for?
- When have you been the happiest? Saddest?
- What do you love most about yourself? Hate most?
- Have you considered how your life would look different if you made different choices in life? What are they?
- Do you have a hunch about how you will die?
- What do you think happens after we die?
- What is the most difficult decision you've had to make in your life?
- Do you think we have free will?
- What is something you're lying to yourself about?
- What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? When you fall asleep?
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- What is your idea of happiness?
- What do you think makes a life "good"?
- What do you want to be remembered for?
- When have you been the happiest? Saddest?
- What do you love most about yourself? Hate most?
- Have you considered how your life would look different if you made different choices in life? What are they?
- Do you have a hunch about how you will die?
- What do you think happens after we die?
- What is the most difficult decision you've had to make in your life?
- Do you think we have free will?
- What is something you're lying to yourself about?
- What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? When you fall asleep?
Have you exhausted the “value” questions? Questions like, “Do you believe in God?” or, “Do you think morality is ever objective?” are great ways to really build a deeper connection and discover more substantial things about your partner. This seems like the appropriate time to start exploring that kind of stuff. Anything about morals, beliefs, and underlying philosophies about life in general.
This also seems like the right time to start exploring topics that might potentially hold the relationship back in the future. Questions like, “How many children do you want to have when it’s time?” or, “Where do you want to live once you’re done with school/your current job?” Those kind of things are normally a little too heavy to bring up early in the relationship but it sounds like you’re cresting that honeymoon period and entering the deeper area where that stuff is appropriate.
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This also seems like the right time to start exploring topics that might potentially hold the relationship back in the future. Questions like, “How many children do you want to have when it’s time?” or, “Where do you want to live once you’re done with school/your current job?” Those kind of things are normally a little too heavy to bring up early in the relationship but it sounds like you’re cresting that honeymoon period and entering the deeper area where that stuff is appropriate.
I don't know how to be serious, but I can give you some great silly questions. (I mean, just look at my username.)
- What is the craziest thing that's happened to you?
- Who is the most entitled person you've met?
- What do you want most out of life? (not that silly, but still)
- What do you think of the government being lizard people? (make sure to state you don't believe the government Is lizard people, we don't want to give her the wrong idea.)
- (this for if you like to hear her yap) What's your favorite book/movie/TV show/artist, and why?
- What's your favorite childhood memory?
- What's your best impression?
- play a game of S or P (smash or pass, if your comfortable enough)
I can't think of any more, but I hope I helped!
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- What is the craziest thing that's happened to you?
- Who is the most entitled person you've met?
- What do you want most out of life? (not that silly, but still)
- What do you think of the government being lizard people? (make sure to state you don't believe the government Is lizard people, we don't want to give her the wrong idea.)
- (this for if you like to hear her yap) What's your favorite book/movie/TV show/artist, and why?
- What's your favorite childhood memory?
- What's your best impression?
- play a game of S or P (smash or pass, if your comfortable enough)
I can't think of any more, but I hope I helped!
My boyfriend and I really enjoy playing through conversational card games. Our favorites so far has been We're Not Really Strangers and Best Self, they both helped us get closer and get to know each other better and has worked great at different points in our relationship. It's nice to have a collection of cards and questions to go through instead of having to think of questions and topics off the top of our heads. One deck can last us hours and hours.
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