Have you ever gotten back with an ex? Is it a bad idea?
My ex and I broke up a little less than a year ago. It was tough but we both moved on and have been on good terms since then, but lately we have been flirting more and I'm entertaining the idea of asking her out again. Is this a bad idea? I know getting back with an ex is not always wise but how do you know when you both just need a second chance to get things right? Would love to hear from people who did this and how it turned out.
View hidden comment
wikiHow forums are moderated for quality. Learn more about our moderation policy here.
Share your thoughts and see what other wikiHow readers think:
Is it a good idea to get back together with your ex?
I think people breakup for many reasons. Sometimes it's because theyโre not ready for the type of commitment that was required of them in that relationship; sometimes they need to grow personally or the partner needs to grow personally. People change and people grow, and in retrospect they might look back and say, โWow, I had a really great partner, and now I feel like I'm able to step up and meet their needs.โ You absolutely could fall back in love with somebody that went through a process like that and came back to your life.
View hidden comment
We lived 3.5 hours from each other, but seen each other 4-5 times a week. He broke up with me due to an argument over a car! I hadn't heard from him in 17 months. He sent me a picture of us. (He doesn't keep old pictures.) However; it made me know how important I had actually became to him in the two years we were together!
View hidden comment
If you and your ex can be honest with each other about 1. What the problem was with your relationship, 2. What has changed since your relationship, and 3. What will be different in this new relationship (with concrete, actionable steps), then I think you have a decent shot! When I got back together with my ex, who is now my wife, we literally wrote up a plan and scheduled regular check-ins with each other so we could have a really good grasp on the health of our relationship. Communication is key!
View hidden comment
How long did it take for you to get back together? Me and my girlfriend broke up yesterday after 5 years while we still love each other very much. Only she has grown up and I have been stuck because of personal problems. this was an eye opener for me and I know what to do. I just hope we get together again soon.
View hidden comment
Realizing what you did wrong is a good first step, but the important part is actually becoming a better person. If you know what to do, then do it. You need to prove that you can grow and be your best self independent of the relationship. Only when you've actually demonstrated growth can you start thinking about getting back together.
View hidden comment
I had this ex and we just broke up because we just jumped into a relationship together and it all fel to quick. In result, we broke up due to just bad communication and misunderstanding of values. However, now we are back together and everything feels right and we deffinately both grew as people in the 2 years we were apart. So, I would say 1000% worth it!!!
View hidden comment
I don't know what your situation with your ex is like so it's hard to say whether or not it's a bad idea for you. For me, it actually worked out (at least so far)! My ex and I broke up because I felt like I wasn't a priority for her. She was always worrying about other things and had a schedule that was so packed she didn't have time for me. She was ambitious and I did my best to support her, but I needed more from her. A year or so later, she figured out how to balance her life responsibilities better, and our relationship felt so much different! I could tell that she was present when we hung out and she blocked out time for us every week. Getting back together with your ex can work out!
View hidden comment
This is exactly like my recent break up, I'm the women who has not been able to set boundaries and works too hard, he has felt like I've not made our relationship a priority. I'm hoping if I can really changes things with myself we can try again, as we have a 7yr daughter too who misses us sll being together...I absolutely love him, but I realise my part in our breakdown and I'm so focused on sorting it out for the best..
View hidden comment
I got back with an ex once and it was awful. Terrible idea. I thought he had changed and he was so loving and sweet the first few months we got back together, but after all the excitement of getting back together wore off, he fell back into the same patterns that led to our first breakup. I found myself having the same arguments that we had had the first time around. Don't get back together with your ex unless you have real proof that things have changed.
View hidden comment
If the initial relationship was draining on one or both of you, getting back together, even now, is not a healthy decision. From an outside perspective, since there has been quite a bit of time for the both of you to heal and grow from the relationship and there doesn't seem to be any bad blood, I don't see it as a bad idea. If you miss her, it's worth a shot.
View hidden comment
My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me in January and I have been trying to ignore the feeling that we are meant to be together. Everything was good until it was not but it was such a good relationship except for the past couple months, at least to me. Maybe she had a completely different feeling but I cannot shake the hope and deep feeling that our story is not done yet. Everyone says their relationship is the outlier. Idk I just feel like that is true for us. We have so many good memories and had a great life together. I moved out though so I guess I should just accept that we cannot get back together. It still feels written in the stars...
View hidden comment
Me and my ex broke up because I had communication issues.... When i was at the house and we were together, it was great, and it felt like we were a happy married couple. But when i was away from the house on a trip I would always focus on what i had to do when i was away and forgot to call/text or facetime her. I told her that this type of situation always happened when I was in the military, When I was gone away, I was locked onto the job. I tried to change my mind set to please her but it was too damn difficult. She told me it was over in the nicest way possible and told me that she couldn't trust because it's the same patter on not communicating with her. She told me "For now, just focus on our working on bettering myself and starting my career. If we are meant to be together then God will bring us back together in the future." I was heartbroken after reading that....
View hidden comment
I had the exact same breakup with my ex with exactly the same situation- Harry is this you?
View hidden comment
Because you both may have realised that it was a rash decision to break up in the first place
Voted: ๐ค Maybe
View hidden comment
We broke up yesterday. It hurts so much because we fit together perfectly but we both haven't healed from our past and always ripped open this one old wound. I tried to heal and for me everything got better, but he just lost hope because he doesn't see that he has to change too. Now we broke up and both believe that if we had loved ourselves at the beginning of our relationship everything would be perfect. We love each other and believe that we will get a second chance, because we just always matched in every aspect. We lived together, have a cat together, same hobbies and interests, trust in God. But I feel like he doesn't understand that he has to change too, he doesn't even change for himself. He just says he's not good enough and he can't get rid of this feeling, but he just never tried. I hope that when we're apart he realizes what he lost, because he loves me and he just has to start loving himself too..
View hidden comment
If the love is there. The bond strong. The connection soul aligned. And no third parties involved. Absolutely give it another chance.
Voted: ๐ Yes
View hidden comment
I really love her so much and spend the rest of my life with, we never fought. She has been always good to me
Voted: ๐ Yes
View hidden comment
i think once youve established the main issue of why you broke up and acknowledge that it can be solved, its safe to try again.
Voted: ๐ Yes
View hidden comment
God is a God of second chances, if he would want to be with me without the crazyness from b4 nd takes God seriously like i want to.. then why not, he's truly a nice man lots of problems but who doesnt these days, learned wat went wrong last time aswel..know not yo repeat again
Voted: ๐ค Maybe
View hidden comment
Yes the relationship wll grow more deeply in my opinion because both parties have learned a HUGE lesson - dont sweat the small stuff. just recognize how fortunate you are to have each other...
Voted: ๐ Yes
View hidden comment
It depends on what caused the breakup and if that is still going to be an issue, if you both know and feel that ya'll have worked past it and can face it then yes, get back together and never let her go and remember to always court her.
Voted: ๐ค Maybe
View hidden comment
ask her to be your girl and if she says no say it as a joke, while y'all are having a flirty convo ofc and if she says no play it cool and be upset later. but before you ask make sure you actually want to date her. ๐
View hidden comment
I broke up with my ex today he was being a jerk and I'm convinced he was cheating since he liked another girl kicked me out of my friend group and hung out with her more, he also ran straight to her after the break up as if ready to show it of long story short not a good idea if you guys broke up because of reasons that are trust behavior ect
View hidden comment
Depends on the context of the situation and reason for breakup. If you both break up due to different priorities at that time I think it's good to get back but if there is infidelity involve I don't think it's a good idea. Again it's up to the individuals to decide what's in alignment to them.
Voted: ๐ค Maybe
View hidden comment
It really depends. Did you have a good relationship? Was the breakup mutual? Are there any lingering feelings? If the answer is yes to these questions, then you probably could have a relationship with them again. But you also have to realize that you two broke up. Thereโs always a fairly large chance that they donโt see you that way anymore. Yes, you guys are flirting, but some people are just natural flirts and donโt see the person theyโe flirting with as you see them. And if the answer to even one of these questions is no, you have to think about it. Is this something you really want to risk? Have your heart broken? But ultimately, this is your decision. Some people can have a good relationship with people the second time. But some people donโt. So, do YOU want to do this?
View hidden comment
Relationships that last are rarely turbulent. It shouldnโt be a โchallengeโ to maintain a relationship.
Voted: ๐ No
View hidden comment
Idk it might be different for ppl but when i got back with my ex we only lasted 2 months so maybe at least with me if you are exes with somebody it most likely means you arent meant for each other but it could be different for you idk
Voted: ๐ค Maybe
View hidden comment
It may be worth trying again if you're both grown up, understand what went wrong in the past, and are committed to making things right. But be careful - rekindling a relationship when the same problems still persist often leads to heartbreak.
View hidden comment
That's a question a lot of us have asked ourselves at some point, so it's a great discussion. As the replies show, there's no single right answer, and it can sometimes work out.
The key seems to be a hard look at the reasons for the original breakup. If the core issues weren't addressed and resolved, it's very likely they'll resurface. A second chance can only work if both people have genuinely changed and are committed to building something new, not just reliving the past.
View hidden comment
The key seems to be a hard look at the reasons for the original breakup. If the core issues weren't addressed and resolved, it's very likely they'll resurface. A second chance can only work if both people have genuinely changed and are committed to building something new, not just reliving the past.
I didn't get back w/an ex instead we "hooked up" while he was dating a highschool friend of mine when they swore nothing was going on but found out she moved in w/him and dropped out of school and so one day he saw me and he asked me if he could come over and hang? I said sure! And we hooked up that day and I never spoke to him again! And she never knew what happened between us..... But that day! something just felt weird or awkward from the moment we were done I realized I didn't want or even text him ever again! And for the record I don't feel bad for what I did! I just felt bad that I hooked up with him! Yuck! ๐คข Lol
View hidden comment
There is a reason you broke up and it will be the same all over once your back together. Most people don't learn from their mistakes and usually don't evolve as human beings.
Voted: ๐ No
View hidden comment
my ex broke up w/ me after a week, and I had literally liked her for three years bc she reminded me of my deceased mother
Voted: ๐ Yes
View hidden comment
Whatโs on your mind? Ask anything.
Get advice and feedback from experts and wikiHow readers just like you.