200+ Cat Jokes, Puns & One-Liners That Are Paw-sitively Hilarious

From chasing laser pointers to knocking over furniture, cats are naturally cute and funny creatures. That’s why we’re providing the ultimate list of cat puns and jokes that are purr-fect for kitten around. Whether you’re looking for silly dad jokes, knock-knock jokes, or one-liners, these claw-some ideas will make you laugh right meow!

Top-Tier Cat Jokes & Puns

What do black cats drink on cold days? Kit-tea.
What do cat artists usually paint? Self paw-traits.
What’s stranger than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the cat say when he lost all his money? “I’m paw!”

Section 1 of 9:

Hilarious Cat Jokes

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Throw out a claw-some cat joke to crack everyone up. Cats love to knock things over, sit in the most inconvenient places, knock over furniture, chase lasers, and ignore humans, providing endless entertainment and material for jokes. Here are some meow-nificent cat jokes to have you on all fours:^{[1]
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- What do you call a fibbing cat? Lion.
- How do you hire a cat? Put up a ladder.
- What is it called when a cat stops? Paws.
- How do cats mix cake batter? With whiskers.
- What do cats put in their houses? Fur-niture.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
- What do cats read in the morning? Mewspapers.
- What’s a kitten’s favorite game? Cat and mouse.
- What do you call a cat with 8 legs? An octo-puss.
- Why did the cop arrest the cat? It got caught littering.
- Why do cats have minty breath? They use mousewash.
- Why do cats like to eat fur balls? They love a good gag!
- Why did the cat go to a therapist? It had claw-strophobia.
- Where did the cat go after losing its tail? The retail store.
- Why do people like having cats as pets? They’re purr-dy.
- Why do cats make good comedians? They’re hiss-terical.
- What’s the Cheshire Cat’s favorite drink? Evaporated milk.
- How do cats resolve an argument? They hiss and make up.
- What did the cat say when he lost all his money? “I’m paw!”
- How do you motivate a cat? Remind them to stay paws-itive.
- What do you call a cat that’s always telling on you? A tattle tail.
- Why was the kitten unpopular at school? It had a bad cat-itude.
- Why are cats good at keeping secrets? They don’t hiss and tail.
- Why was the cat so small? Because it only ate condensed milk!
- Why are cats good at video games? Because they have 9 lives!
- Why do cats make terrible story tellers? They only have one tail.
- Did you hear about the cat that lost its left leg? It’s all right now.
- Why did the cat get pulled over by the police? Because it littered.
- What’s worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.
- What is a cat’s way of keeping law and order? Claw Enforcement.
- Why did the cat bring its watch to the bank? It wanted to save time.
- Why can’t you play board games in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
- Where did the school kittens go on their field trip? To the mewseum.
- Why don’t leopards play hide-and-go-seek? They’re always spotted.
- Why do cats like to lie on computers? To keep an eye on the mouse.
- Did you hear about the cat that ate a bad sausage? It was the wurst.
- Did you see the latest episode of My Cat in Hell? It was hiss-terical!
- Did you hear about the cat that went to the doctor? It wasn’t feline well.
- Did you hear about the cat that made a mistake? It was a total faux paw.
- Did you hear about the cat that almost fell off a cliff? It lived to tell the tail.
- What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
- Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
- Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas? She was sher-paw.
- Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens? She wanted to mail a litter!
- Did you hear about the cat that burned dinner? It had to start over from scratch.
- If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
- Why do cats prefer wizards to witches? Sorcerers sometimes have milk in them.
- Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
- Why are cats always tired on April 1? Because they just finished a 31-day March.
- When did the teacher say after he caught the kitten cheating? Don’t be a copycat.
- Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
- How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
- Why do you have to watch out when it’s raining cats and dogs? You might step in a poodle!
- There were 4 cats in a boat. One jumped out. How many were left? None…they were all copy cats!
- Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane? She let the cat out of the bag.

Section 2 of 9:

Funny Cat Puns & One-Liners

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Use a purr-fectly funny pun or one-liner to please cat lovers. If there’s an opportunity to incorporate cat-related humor into your daily conversation, take it! The following lines put a hiss-terical spin on classic phrases and idioms you love. Here are some un-fur-gettable options:^{[2]
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- Meow you doin’?
- It’s meow or never.
- Wait a meow-ment.
- Any minute meow…
- Will you meow-y me?
- I’ve got felines for you.
- You’re my best fur-end.
- How do you like meow?
- To me, you are purr-fect.
- Girl, you’re looking fe-line!
- I’m litter-ly in love with you.
- You can’t stop meow, I’m on a roll!
- How’s your cat today? He’s feline fine!
- Anything is pawsible if you just believe.
- My cat thinks my singing is just clawful.
- Can we press paws on this relationship?
- Team-meow-work makes the dream work!
- Dogmen don’t live in Nepal, but Catmen do.
- Dogs can’t operate MRI machines, but cats can.
- That cat just gave me the stink eye…are they fur real?!
- Two kittens got into a big argument. It was a total cat-astrophe.
- Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat. Huge faux paw.
- I once met a giant cat. I didn’t know what to say so I used big words.
- My cat just brought me another dead mouse…you’ve got to be kitten me!
- I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare. Thanks to my cat, it’s so chewed up…I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.

Section 3 of 9:

Black Cat Jokes

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Make everyone laugh with these purr-anormal black cat jokes. Whether you believe they bring bad luck or fortune, black cats are a hot topic around the Halloween season. Here are some black cat jokes to spread silly and spooky vibes:^{[3]
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- What’s a black cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
- What do black cats drink on cold days? Kit-tea.
- What kind of cats like bowling? Black Alley cats.
- What state has the most black cats? Petsylvania.
- What’s a black cat’s favorite dessert? Mice pudding.
- How do black cats get their way? With purr-suasion.
- What do you call a black cat in high school? A kit-teen.
- What do you use to comb a black cat’s fur? A catacomb.
- Where do black cats hang their wet laundry? On a feline.
- Why did the witch’s black cat throw up? She was broom sick.
- What’s a black cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
- What was the black cat’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory.
- What’s the unluckiest kind of black cat to have? A cat-astrophe.
- Which of the black cat’s friends was good at baseball? The bat.
- Why did the black cat cross the graveyard? Claws it wanted to.
- What kind of musician do black cats want to be? Purr-cussionists.
- What kind of tests do they give black cats in school? Hex-aminations.
- What happened when the black cat ate the clown costume? It felt funny.
- Why did the black cat throw his milk bowl? He wanted to see a flying saucer.
- How is a black cat like a coin? It has a head on one side and a tail on the other.
- What do you get when you cross a black cat with a witch’s rug? A magic car-pet.
- Why did the black cat put the letter “M” into the freezer? To turn the “ice” into “mice.”
- Why are black cats so good at Halloween party songs? Because they’re very mewsical.

Section 4 of 9:

Cat Dad Jokes

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These paw-some dad jokes are guaranteed to get the laughs going. If you’re feline funny, there are tons of cat-related dad jokes you can share in any situation. Purr-pare to roll on the floor laughing and leave everyone in hiss-terics with these jokes:^{[4]
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- What sports do cats play? Hairball.
- How do cats talk quietly? They whis-purr.
- What kind of felines can bowl? Alley cats.
- What do you call a stylish cat? A dandy lion.
- What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
- What’s a cat’s favorite song? “Three Blind Mice.”
- What do cat artists usually paint? Self paw-traits.
- What’s stranger than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
- What kind of cars do cats prefer to drive? Fur-arris.
- What do cats eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
- What’s a cat’s favorite band? Mew Kids on the Block.
- What’s a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mewsic!
- Why was the cat so agitated? He was in a bad mewd.
- What do you call a cat that eats lemons? A sour puss.
- What kind of cats teach college classes? Purr-fessors.
- What don’t cats shop in stores? They prefer cat-alogs.
- What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote? Paws.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot.
- What did the alien say to the cat? “Take me to your litter.”
- What do you give a cat with allergies? An anti-hiss-tamine.
- Who was the most powerful cat in China? Chairman Miaow.
- Did you hear about the angry cat? It got hot under the collar.
- What did one cat say to the other? “How do you like meow?”
- What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman? Frostbite!
- What do cats prefer to eat when they go out to dinner? Paw-sta.

Section 5 of 9:

Cat Knock-Knock Jokes

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Throw out a creative knock-knock joke that’s absolutely a-mew-sing. Some knock-knock jokes have a reputation for being corny and cliché, but the following lines are the purr-fect blend of cheesy and charming. Here are some hilarious knock-knock jokes about your feline friends:^{[5]
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- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Cat. Cat who? Catch up!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Claw. Claw who? Claw me maybe?
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Mew. Mew who? Mew-tiful day for a cat joke!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Tail. Tail who? Tail me when the treats arrive!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Cat. Cat who? Cat me outside, how bout dat?!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Lion. Lion who? Lion on your doorstep, open up!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Claws. Claws who? Claws the door, I’m getting cold!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Kitten. Kitten who? Quit kitten around and open the door!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Meow. Meow who? Meow many candles are on that cake?!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Hiss. Hiss who? Hiss about time you opened the door for me!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Purr. Purr who? Purr-haps you should open the door already!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Whisker. Whisker who? Whisker me happy birthday already!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Tabby. Tabby who? Tabby or not tabby? That is the question!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Tuna. Tuna who? Tuna round, there’s a hungry cat behind you!
- Knock-knock. Who’s there? Paws. Paws who? Paws whatever you’re doing and get me some tuna!

Section 6 of 9:

Cat Birthday Jokes

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Include a meow-gical cat joke to make the birthday boy or girl smile. If you’re celebrating someone’s birthday, share a corny and cheesy cat joke to lift their spirits. The following options are sure to spread joy and get them in the purr-ty mood:^{[6]
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- Birthday presents? Meow you’re talking!
- Let’s celebrate your birthday with meow-tinis!
- Why do cats love birthdays? They love to purr-ty!
- What do cats like to eat on their birthdays? Mice cream cake.
- What’s a cat’s favorite birthday song? Happy purr-thday to you!
- What type of birthday cake do cats love? One with mice-ing on top!
- What did the cat say when it got a birthday present? “This is claw-some!”
- What’s a cat’s favorite part of a birthday cake? The whisker cream frosting!
- How do cats wish each other a happy birthday? With a purr-sonalized card!
- Why do cats get more birthday parties than dogs? Because they have 9 lives.
- What did the dog say to the cat on her birthday? “You don’t smell a day over 7!”
- What do you get when you cross a cat with a birthday cake? A purr-fectly delicious treat!
- Why did the cat refuse to share its birthday cake? Because it was a little too paw-sessive!

Section 7 of 9:

Christmas Cat Jokes

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Share a hiss-terical cat joke to spread holiday cheer. Whether you’re writing a card or telling your joke in person, there’s no better way to get into the Christmas spirit than by sharing a laugh with someone. Here are the some funny and family-friendly cat jokes for the meow-st wonderful time of the year:^{[7]
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- What do cats like to eat for dinner? Mice pie!
- What do cats dream of? A white Chris-mouse.
- What do you call a cat who steals presents? Santa Claws!
- What’s a cat’s favorite Christmas movie? The Santa Claws.
- What do Christmas and desert cats have in common? Sandy claws.
- What’s a cat’s favorite Christmas character? Fur-osty the Snowman.
- What’s a Christmas tree’s least favorite cat? The purr-sent destroyer!
- What do cats wear to bed on the night before Christmas? Paw-jamas.
- What do cats say in December? It’s beginning to feline lot like Christmas.
- Why did the cat love Christmas dinner? Because it was purr-fectly seasoned!
- What’s a cat’s favorite Christmas song? “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Paws.”
- How does a cat decorate for Christmas? With hiss-tletoe and claw-some lights!
- Why was the cat sitting under the Christmas tree? Because it was feline festive!
- What do cats write in their Christmas cards? Have yourself a meow-y little Christmas.
- Why did the cat knock the ornaments off the tree? Because it was claw-fully tempting!
- What do cats say to each other on Christmas? Meowy Christmas and Happy Mew Year!

Section 8 of 9:

Cat Lady Jokes

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Use a cat lady joke to honor the purr-sonal bond with your feline friend. Cat ladies refer to quirky, single women who own a lot of cats. They might talk to their cats like people, constantly adopt, or even cancel plans to stay in with their cats. This makes them the purr-fect topic for a variety of jokes, so here are some iconic ideas for anyone who’s obsessed with their furry companion:^{[8]
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- What’s a cat lady’s favorite holiday? Meow-loween.
- What’s a cat lady’s favorite kind of music? Meow-tal.
- What did the cat lady name her boat? The Claw-tanic.
- What’s a cat lady’s favorite board game? Meow-nopoly.
- What’s a cat lady’s favorite type of exercise? Paw-lates!
- How does a cat lady end a text message? With a purr-iod.
- Why did the cat lady take a nap? Because she was feline tired.
- How does a cat lady pay for her groceries? With a meow-ster card.
- What’s a cat lady’s drink of choice? Meow-tinis with a twist of catnip!
- What’s a cat lady’s favorite movie? Anything with a paw-sitive ending.
- Why did the cat lady bring her cat on a date? She wanted a purr-fect match!
- What’s a cat lady’s dream job? Being a purr-sonal assistant to her own cats!
- Why do cat ladies always win arguments? Because they have claw-some comebacks!
- Why did the cat lady bring her cat to the baseball game? She heard it was a cat-cher’s sport!
- What did the cat lady say when she adopted another kitten? “Purr-haps just one more!”

Section 9 of 9:

“What Did the Cat Say to the Skeleton” Jokes

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Drop a “What did the cat say to the skeleton” joke to bring the house down. “What did the cat say to the skeleton?” jokes have gotten pretty trendy on TikTok! If you're looking for a response that's sure to leave everyone in stitches, try one of these humerus bone- or skeleton-related puns:
- You’re dead to me.
- At least I have 9 lives!
- I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
- You’d make a purr-fect scratching post!
- You smell fishy…oh wait, that’s just me!
- You must be fur-eezing without all that fluff!
- You must be bone-ly without a cat to cuddle!
- I’d rub against your leg, but you don’t have one.
- I’d let you pet me, but your hands are bone-dry!
- Don’t tell me any lies…I can see right through you!
- You’ve got to be kitten me…no meat on these bones?!
- I’d be scared, but you don’t have the guts to chase me.
- You need to eat more…you’re looking a little bare-boned.

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If you want to send someone a cat GIF or image along with your joke, you can find them on sites like GIPHY.com, Tenor.com, Gifer.com, or Funimada.com.

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To come up with your own creative joke, experiment with cat-related terminology. You could replace a word in a common phrase with “meow,” “paw,” “mice,” “hiss,” “claw,” or “fur,” or use these terms as puns and play on their double meanings.

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