28 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Girlfriend

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Co-authored by John Keegan and Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: July 27, 2025 Fact Checked

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Want to make your girlfriend laugh? Whether you’re chatting in person or via text, jokes are a great way to make her smile, impress her, and get her in the mood. From classic dad jokes to flirtatious puns and dirty innuendos, there’s a joke out there for everyone. If you’re not sure where to start, no worries! We’ve put together a list of funny, charming jokes you can text or tell your girlfriend that are sure to make her laugh.

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Funny Jokes to Tell Your Girlfriend

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1. 
   1
   “What did one raspberry say to the other? I love you berry much.”
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   “What did the magnet say to the fridge? You’re attractive.”
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   “What did the barista say to their crush? I like you a latte.”
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   “What flower is the best at kissing? Tulips.”
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   “Never date an apostrophe. They’re possessive.”
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   “Is your name WiFi? Because I feel a connection.”
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   “What do you call insects that are dating? Answer: Love bugs.”
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   “How did the telephone ask its girlfriend out? It gave her a ring.”
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   “What’s the most romantic ship? Courtship.”
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    “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.”
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    “Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!”
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    “Knock knock. Who’s there? Kiss. Kiss who? Kiss me!”
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    “Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you stunning!”
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    “Knock knock. Who’s there? Cheese. Cheese who? Cheese, you're awfully cute!”
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    “What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on!”
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    “What did the calculator say to the pen? You can always count on me!”
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    “What did the squirrel say to its lover? I’m nuts for you!”
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    “Why did the melons get married in a church? Because they cantaloupe.”
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    “Why shouldn’t you break up with a goalie? Because they’re a keeper.”
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    “Where do hotdogs go on a date? The meatball.”
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    “Why are forks disappointed on Valentine’s Day? They just wanted to spoon.”
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    “What did the two prunes call their dinner plans? A date.”
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    “They say kissing is a love language. Do you want to start a conversation?”
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    “You must be a banana because you’re very a-peeling.”
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    “Ouch! I must have scraped my knee falling for you.”
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    “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
27. 
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    “I’m going to arrest you for robbery because you’ve stolen my heart.”
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    “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”
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