Is a Coworker Flirting with You? Here's How to Tell

Figure out whether your coworker is being friendly or flirty

Co-authored by John Keegan and Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: October 1, 2025 Fact Checked

Since you’re typically around your coworkers for about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, you tend to build up a fun rapport with most of them. However, if you’re feeling that one coworker in particular is getting a little flirty, figuring out whether they’re actually flirting with you or just being extra friendly can be tough in the workplace. We’ve compiled some of the key signs that your coworker might be flirting with you so you can proceed accordingly, whether you like them back or choose to keep it professional. Plus, bonus insights from dating coaches John Keegan and Laura Bilotta.

How to Know if a Coworker is Flirting

According to dating coach John Keegan, your coworker might be flirting with you if they always make time for you, whether that's stopping by for a chat or taking their lunch break with you. They might also compliment you, initiate physical touch, and ask about your relationship status.

1

They always take a lunch break with you.

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They might even do it when it’s inconvenient for themselves. If you notice that your coworker always makes it a priority to take breaks with you, they probably like you a little more than as a friend. This is especially true if they offer to take you out or buy you lunch a lot, too.^{[1]
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- There’s a reason your coworker likes talking to you when you’re not working! It’s easier to chat and make conversation when you both aren’t busy.
Meet the wikiHow Experts

John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based with over 15 years of professional experience.

Laura Bilotta is a dating coach and matchmaker with over 21 years of experience.

2

They always stop by for a chat.

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They go out of their way to stop and say hi. If your coworker walks over to where you are a lot to strike up a conversation, there’s a good chance they’re flirting with you. For instance, maybe you work on the third floor and your coworker works on the fourth floor. If they’re constantly coming downstairs, they probably just want to see you. However, if you see them talking to your other coworkers just as much, they might just be a chatty Cathy.^{[2]
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- The frequency of the chatting is not the only thing that matters— their tone matters, too. If they’re very helpful, thoughtful, and complimentary every time, they could be into you.

3

They compliment you, but no one else.

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Your coworker might compliment you on your outfit or your work ethic. If you notice that they tend to reserve compliments for you and you alone, they probably have a little crush on you. Keep in mind, though, that if they compliment everyone, they might just be a nice person. Bilotta warns that saying something like “I appreciate you” can have multiple meanings. “It can be difficult to tell whether [they are] flirting or just being friendly,” she begins. “Consider the context. If you were discussing something important to them, such as a project or a personal goal, [they] may genuinely be expressing gratitude for your help.”^{[3]
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Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview} In this case, they’re probably just being friendly.
- However, if he said it in a “more casual or playful” way, he may be flirting with you. Bilotta explains: “In this context, ‘I really appreciate you’ could be a way of expressing admiration or attraction.”^{[4]
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- Pay attention to how your coworker acts around other people. If you see a difference between your interactions and everyone else’s, that’s a big sign that they like you.

4

They catch your eye often.

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They might glance at you during meetings or slow times at work. When you make eye contact with them, they’ll probably smile or even give you a little wave. This is a huge indication that they’re flirting with you, not just being friendly. Eye contact reveals a lot about how a person feels about you, and prolonged gazing is a dead giveaway that they’re into you… as more than coworkers. ^{[5]
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- Someone who didn’t mean to catch your eye will probably glance away quickly or look down at the floor.
- If you maintain eye contact for an extended period of time and notice their pupils dilate, this is a sign that they’re really attracted to you.

5

They lean in toward you when you chat.

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Leaning in while talking is a huge indicator of attraction. If you find that your coworker often stands closer to you than they do to other people, they’re probably trying to flirt with you. If you want to flirt back, you can lean in close to match their body language. Bilotta cites specific body language cues like “making prolonged eye contact, leaning in closer to you, or touching your arm or hand” as signs of flirtation.^{[6]
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Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

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- Keegan agrees, noting that “playful comments” are another sign that they like you as more than a coworker.^{[7]
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- Keep in mind that different people from different cultures have different ideas about personal space. If you aren’t sure, watch how close your coworker stands to other people when they chat.^{[8]
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6

They text you outside of work hours.

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If they don’t have your number, they might email you instead. They might even message you on Slack or Teams. This is an excuse to talk to you outside of work, and it usually means that they like you. The conversation might start out work-related, but it will probably evolve into a normal conversation eventually.^{[9]
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- If they add you on social media and begin commenting on your posts, they’re trying to get your attention.

7

They seem jealous of your romantic endeavors.

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They might act moody or upset if you say you have a date. If you’re telling people at your workplace about your love life, your coworker might seem extra invested. This is probably because they have feelings for you, but they just don’t know how to say it. Keegan says that directly inquiring and “being curious about your relationship status” are clear signs of romantic interest.^{[10]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} So, if you reveal to them that you’re in a relationship and they seem jealous— you know why!
- On the flip side, they might actually encourage you to go out on dates with other people. This probably means that they’re nervous or they have mixed feelings about their crush on you.^{[11]
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- Reader Poll: We asked 744 wikiHow readers if they would date a coworker, and 79% of them said yes. [Take Poll] Your coworker may be interested in your dating life because they want to ask you out!

8

They always give you attention in group settings.

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They interact with you the most and face their body toward yours, too. If you’re standing with a group of coworkers, the one who’s trying to flirt with you will probably ask you questions or laugh a little too hard at your jokes. If you aren’t sure whether or not it’s happening, ask your other coworkers—they’ve probably picked up on it. Be careful who you ask, though, you wouldn’t want to accidentally start a problematic rumor about yourself and this other person!^{[12]
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- The coworker in question might also try to pull you aside to have a private conversation instead of participating in the group.
- If you’re interested in them and feeling bold, try saying something like, “If you want to speak to me privately, how about dinner on Friday night?”

9

They touch you on the arm or shoulder.

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This is a classic flirting technique. Breaking the touch barrier by patting someone on the arm or the back is a great way to tell that someone is interested in you. This is especially true if your coworker isn’t touchy-feely with anyone else at your workplace. They might tell you that their hands are cold and place them in yours for warmth, or brush a rogue hair out of your eyes.^{[13]
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- Some people do tend to be more touchy-feely in general. If your coworker gives people hugs or touches them a lot, they might not be into you.
- If you’re uncomfortable being touched by them, opt for a fist bump when they go in for a hug and politely assert your boundaries.

10

They keep the conversation going.

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This means that they really enjoy being around you. If the conversation comes to a natural stopping point, your coworker will probably throw out a new topic really quickly. They might not want the conversation to end, so you could find yourself chatting with them for much longer than you were expecting to.^{[14]
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- Your coworker also might just be a chatty person, in which case they probably do that to everyone. However, if it’s only you, then they’re probably flirting.
- If you’re not interested in them and feel like these long-winded chats are interfering with your work, feel free to say something like, “Ah, I wish I could chat more, but I’ve got to get back to work.”

11

They remember things about you.

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If they can recall details about your personal life, they’re probably into you. Maybe you mentioned to them that your dad has been sick with the flu, and they ask you how he’s doing a week later. Maybe you told them that your favorite baseball team is the Yankees, and they suddenly start rooting for them and watching every game. Whatever the case, most people who want to keep their workplace relationships professional typically don’t interest themselves in what their coworkers are doing once they’ve clocked out.
- So, if your cubicle neighbor always remembers that you wear pink flamingo socks on Fridays—they like what they see. And we don’t mean the socks.
- Your coworker may be a thoughtful person with a good memory. The key is determining how much effort they put into building a connection with you specifically based on what they learn about you.

12

They laugh at all your jokes.

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A coworker who is constantly cracking up around you is likely flirting. Research shows that there’s a strong relationship between laughter and attraction. Women who laugh at all their male suitor’s jokes tend to feel more attracted and connected to them, and couples who laugh together are proven to have more long-term potential. In short, if your coworker finds your breakroom comedy routine utterly hilarious, they may be trying to inadvertently show you what a great match you’d make.^{[15]
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- Laughter is also linked to compatibility. If they think you’re funny, they might tend to agree with many of your other choices, which is good news if you’re interested in pursuing them.

13

They have a nickname for you.

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“Nickname” is just a few letters away from “pet name.” While it might be acceptable to go by a nickname in the workplace, it’s probably just a shorthand for your full name. So, if your coworker calls you Mike and your full name is Michael, obviously think nothing of it. However, if your name is Michael and they call you Mr. Sugar Pie or Captain Honey Buns, it’s possible— stay with me, here— that they have more than friendship on the brain.^{[16]
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- Nicknames are believed to strengthen bonds in the workplace, but if you don’t like the moniker you’ve been given by this coworker or you find it inappropriate, voice your concerns privately and politely.

14

They bring you treats.

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This shows that they're thinking about you during non-work hours. They say the way to someone’s heart is through their stomach, and your coworker knows this. Bringing you coffee, baked goods, and other small treats highlights a certain level of effort that generally comes from loving spouses. This is especially true if they don’t treat anybody else the same sweet way and only sneak you the treats. And if you accept every time, congratulations— you now have a work husband or work wife.^{[17]
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- If you’re interested in them, try asking them something like, “So, does this make you my work wife?” Their response should answer all your questions!

15

They ask if you’re going to work functions.

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They might even say they won’t go if you don’t. When they ask, it means they probably want to see you outside of normal work hours. If you say that you are going, they might get super excited and express that they can’t wait to spend more time with you. For example, your coworker might check in to see if you’re going to the work holiday party or not. If you can’t make it, they’ll probably be a bit a upset about it..^{[18]
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- If the work event in question allows you to bring a guest, they might ask you if you’re bringing a plus-one. If you say yes, watch for signs of disappointment.

16

They create inside jokes with you.

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This is especially true if they don’t usually joke around. If something funny happens at work and your coworker is constantly talking about it, they’re probably attempting to form a connection with you. They might bring it up pretty often, even when it doesn’t really seem relevant. They’ll also likely do this in group settings, so other people know how close you two really are.^{[19]
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- If your coworker is a silly or goofy person, this might not mean that they’re into you.

17

They ask you to hang out outside of work.

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Asking to see you outside of your scheduled 9-to-5 is a major sign. More than that, if they officially ask you out, they probably like you, like you. If you reciprocate their feelings, it could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship, as it was for Jim and Pam of The Office. If you don’t feel that spark, don’t panic, as there are very polite ways to keep it professional in the workplace.
- Keegan shares, “We live in a very delicate time where boundaries are really important and we don't want to cross them in those spaces.”^{[20]
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- So, simply letting them know that you don’t date where you work should be a perfectly reasonable reason.

Examples of What to Say if a Coworker is Flirting with You and You'd Like Them to Stop

Sample Examples of What to Say if a Coworker is Flirting with You

Join the Discussion...

How do you tell if someone's being flirty or friendly?

WikiCaveWatcher554

Hey everyone! I would really love some help figuring out how to tell if someone is flirting with me, especially when it comes to reading body language and facial cues. I feel like I completely misunderstand the difference between someone being friendly and someone actually trying to hit on me. I won’t bore you with the details but I’ve missed out on so many chances where I just thought the other person was being nice, and I’ve gotten into trouble a few times for mistaking someone being friendly as someone trying to hit on me. Any tips here?

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Tips

If you don’t like your coworker’s flirting, you can ignore it for now. If it keeps happening, talk to your boss or supervisor about it.

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