This article was co-authored by Cole Imperi and by wikiHow staff writer, Bailey Cho. Cole Imperi is a certified Thanatologist and the Founder of the School of American Thanatology based in Los Angeles, CA. With over 17 years of experience, her mission is to help people explore their relationship with death, dying, grief and loss so they can get the most out of life. Cole is a 2-time TedX speaker focusing on shadowloss and resiliency, and is the author of the book A Guide to Grief, for teens and tweens. Cole has been featured on the Netflix series The Future of… and in The Atlantic, The New York Times, Ologies, Marie Claire, USA Today, and more. She also writes the popular column Grief or Madness and consults on bereavement programming for organizations.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Losing a husband is a devastating experience, but sharing a thoughtful condolence message or quote is one to bring healing to a spouse in mourning. In this article, you'll find a comprehensive list of sympathy messages for someone who has just lost their husband. If you're looking for other ways to offer support, we also offer advice on how to best help someone through the loss of their husband, and we also explain the importance of sending condolence messages.
Steps
Writing a Sympathy Card for the Loss of Husband
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1Start your message with a heartfelt greeting. Open your sympathy message with a warm and sincere sentiment that feels natural to your relationship. You could use phrases like, “Dear (their name)” or “To the (their last name) family.”
- Alternatively, write a famous quote or Bible verse at the top of your card to provide comfort.
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2Express your sympathies in the first person. Keep your message simple and straight to the point when sharing your condolences. The goal is to acknowledge the grieving person’s loss in a heartfelt way and validate their emotions. Some example phrases include “I am deeply sorry for your loss” or “My heart goes out to you.”[5]
- Avoid using overly complicated language or sentences.
- Be sure to write in the first person to craft a more genuine message. For example, “I will miss your husband” is more impactful than “your husband will be missed.”
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3Share specific details about their husband. If you knew their husband well, include heartwarming stories or share the impact they had on your life. This makes your message more personal and can bring comfort to their spouse.[6]
You could list their husband’s best qualities (his sense of humor, generosity, or kindness), or express how highly he spoke about his family.[7]
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- Remember to mention their husband’s name to add a personal touch.
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2Offer support if they need help with anything. Even if you aren’t particularly close to the grieving person, offering support is a kind and meaningful gesture. Just let them know you are here for them if they need anything and that they’re not alone. To be extra supportive, specify how you can help them, whether it’s picking up their kids from school or running errands on their behalf.[8]
- Offering a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on is a simple gesture that goes a long way.
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3End with a warm and comforting closing. Sign the card with your name and a gentle, supportive note. You can use short phrases, such as “with condolences,” “warmest regards,” “with deep sympathy,” “thinking of you,” or “praying for you.”[9]
- Alternatively, close with a meaningful quote or Bible verse to reinforce your care and support.
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4Avoid giving unsolicited advice or minimizing their feelings. Remember, your sympathy card isn’t about “fixing” the grieving person’s pain—it’s about validating their emotions and offering support and comfort. Avoid phrases like “things will get better” or “everything happens for a reason,” which can undermine their feelings.[10]
Expert Q&A
Tips
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Generally, you should send a sympathy message as soon as you hear about someone’s death, or send a card a few days after their funeral or memorial service.Thanks
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If you aren’t able to express your sympathies immediately, give a genuine apology for the delay and explain that it was difficult to find the right words. It’s never too late to acknowledge someone's loss and let them know you’re here to support them!Thanks
References
- ↑ Cole Imperi. Certified Thanatologist. Expert Interview
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/midlife-reimagined/202312/what-to-say-and-what-not-to-say-to-a-grieving-person
- ↑ https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/grief-loss/sympathy-messages-funeral-flowers
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/write-sympathy-card/
- ↑ Cole Imperi. Certified Thanatologist. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/write-sympathy-card/
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/write-sympathy-card/
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/write-sympathy-card/
- ↑ https://www.funeralbasics.org/write-sympathy-card/
- ↑ Joseph Phillips. Clinical Therapist, MSW. Expert Interview