Are They Acting Distant?

Take this quiz to find out if your partner is being emotionally distant.
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So, you’re worried your partner has been acting distant lately. Maybe they’re suddenly skipping out on plans, or you feel like they’re a million miles away even though they’re right next to you. This can be frustrating and overall a big bummer.

Answer these questions about how you feel around your partner to see if they’re being emotionally distant.

A woman seems unsure while observing her partner, who looks away and worried.

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Questions Overview

1. Do they spend a lot of time with you? In other words, are they always around you?
  1. Yes! All of the time!
  2. Yeah, but only when they have free time.
  3. Not really. I don’t see them as often as I’d like.
  4. No. They never have time for me.
2. Do they make time for you in their schedule?
  1. Yes!
  2. Sometimes.
  3. Rarely.
  4. No.
3. How would you describe how they treat you?
  1. They’re very open with me! We can talk about anything.
  2. They’re considerate about my feelings and needs.
  3. There’s a mutual respect between us.
  4. None of the above.
4. How often do they show an interest in you?
  1. Very often!
  2. Occasionally.
  3. Rarely.
  4. Never.
5. Do they give you gifts?
  1. Yes! At least once a day!
  2. Yeah, maybe twice a week.
  3. Sometimes, but only when it’s a special occasion.
  4. No, they don’t give me gifts.
6. How often are they affectionate towards you?
  1. Very often.
  2. Occasionally.
  3. Rarely.
  4. Never.
7. How often do they make you feel loved?
  1. More than once a day!
  2. At least once a day.
  3. At least once a week.
  4. I don’t really feel loved around them.
8. Do you ever fight with them?
  1. Nope! We get along really well.
  2. Not really, but we can bicker.
  3. Yeah, sometimes. But it doesn’t happen too often.
  4. Yes. We fight a lot.

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What Is Distance in a Relationship?

In a relationship, distance is when you feel a sudden lack of connection or emotion from your partner. While they may be right next to you, you feel like they’re a million miles away. Every relationship goes through stages—relationships naturally ebb and flow—but too much distance could put a strain on the partnership.

So, what are the signs of distance?

  • Not discussing emotions. If you and your partner bottle up your emotions around each other, it’s very likely you’re emotionally distant.
  • Lack of intimacy and affection. Not wanting to be physically close to your partner may be a sign of emotional strain.
  • Unresolved conflict or a lack of conflict. A lack of agreements or compromises can slowly pull partners apart.
  • Unmet needs. If you or your partner feels unfulfilled in the relationship, it can put a strain on the relationship.

What causes emotional distance? In relationships, distance can be caused by high levels of stress, anxiety, and criticism. Most relationships experience a period of distance when one or both partners go through a significant life change or are struggling to find balance in and outside the relationship.

How do you overcome distance? If you and your partner are experiencing some distance, know that it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the relationship. A little distance is healthy—you need space to be your own person—but too much distance can put a strain on your emotional bond. The best thing to do is sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your partner. Talk about what may be troubling you and discuss your wants and needs. Try meeting with a relationship counselor for advice from a third party.

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