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Ask your match these questions to start an engaging conversation and see if your chemistry is off the charts
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Your phone pings with a notification that you have a new match on Hinge. Based on their profile, it looks like you’d vibe, but what can you ask them to make sure you’re actually compatible? Whether you’re looking for a casual connection or a serious relationship, we’ve compiled a list of meaningful questions to help you get to know your match on any dating app. And because getting to know each other should be fun, we’ve also included some funny and flirty questions to spark a more light-hearted conversation.

Things You Should Know

  • Ask about their ideal weekend and favorite shows and music to see if your interests and lifestyles are compatible.
  • Find out if your values align by asking about their goals, passions, and role models.
  • See if your physical connection is a match by asking about their ideal date and turn-ons.
  • Spark a funny conversation with a game of “Would you rather.”
1

“What’s your favorite movie, TV show, or book?”

  1. They might prefer fantasy shows while you’re a die-hard sci-fi fan, which can lead to a really fun and engaging conversation! Plus, this can give you insight into what they’re interested in.[1]
    • Asking questions back-to-back can often come across like an interview. To have a more natural, free-flowing conversation, dive deeper into a single topic. Asking why it's their favorite movie can lead to a conversation about their passions, childhood experiences, and personal beliefs.[2]
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2

“Why’d you swipe on my profile?”

  1. This is a flirty way to ask why they’re on Hinge or Bumble and can help you weed out incompatible matches. If you’re looking for a thoughtful, serious relationship and your match just compliments your looks, this might hint that you’re not looking for the same things.[3]
    • If they ask you this question back, be thoughtful about why you matched with them. People can usually tell if you’re giving a copy-paste answer. Look at their profile answers and pictures to pick out things that drew you to them and that you are curious to learn more about.[4]
4

“What songs do you like to blast with the windows down?”

  1. This is another easy conversation opener that can tell you about your match’s likes, dislikes, and personality. Are they down in the mosh pit at every music festival?[5] Or maybe you’re more likely to catch them at your local music hall jamming to Beethoven.
    • For less open-ended questions like these, it’s a great idea to ask “Why?” This helps the conversation flow and can give you a better idea of who they are.
5

“What’s your favorite restaurant in town?”

  1. Maybe they prefer the comforts of home and simply enjoy a great slice of pizza. They might like the nightlife scene and trying the hottest new restaurants in your city. Or, they could be an adventurous eater who knows all the best hole-in-the-wall spots.[6]
    • If you’re looking to date, use the app to meet your matches in person! Once you’ve established that you’re interested, you can easily ask your match on a date by following up their answer with “So, can I take you there sometime then?”[7]
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10

“How would your friends describe you?"

11

“What do you hope to accomplish in the next 5 years?”

  1. Whether you’re a career-driven go-getter or taking life one day at a time, you’re probably looking for someone who shares similar attitudes and values to you. This question will also tell you more about who they are. They might be a creative who is planning to take off their photography business in the next 5 years. If they’re family-oriented, they might be hoping to start a family soon.[9]
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12

“Are you close with your family?"

  1. Who they were raised by, whether they have siblings, and how often they see their family can tell you a lot about their background and why they are the person they are today.[10]
    • While it’s okay if you don’t have the same type of relationship with your families, it’s a good idea to figure out if your beliefs and values match.
    • Ask this question after you’ve gotten to know your match better. Families can be sensitive and complicated, so you want to save this once you are comfortable and more vulnerable with each other.
13

“What was your favorite movie, book, or toy as a kid?”

14

“What do you like most about your job?”

15

“Who is your role model?”

  1. To make a potential relationship work, you and your match need to share compatible beliefs about life and work.[11] If you're a tech-savvy business person and your match is inspired by Steve Jobs, that might tell you that they’re also hardworking and dedicated to their job.[12]
    • This can also be a great question to highlight any relationship deal breakers or potential red flags. If your match is influenced by someone who goes against your beliefs or values, they probably aren’t compatible with you.
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19

“What are you looking for in a relationship?”

21

“What does the perfect date look like to you?”

  1. This can be a flirty question to ask that also gives you great information on how they show their love. If you like their idea of romance and are sure that you and your match have chemistry, this question can easily segue into asking them on a date.
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23

“What do you like better: kisses or cuddles?”

  1. Asking flirty questions about how they like to be intimate can tell you if your ideas of romance are compatible. Then, you can naturally deepen the conversation by asking about their turn-ons and offs.
    • You don’t want to ask this question right off the bat as it can come off too strong. Unless you and your match are upfront about only wanting a physical connection, wait until you have a solid conversation going before getting into more intimate topics.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 145 wikiHow readers how they like to show love to their partner, and 50% of them said through physical affection, like hugs and kisses. [Take Poll] Knowing what kind of physical affection someone likes is a great way to determine if you’re physically compatible!
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30

“Would you rather jump or skip instead of walking?”

  1. Get to know them better with a funny game of “Would you rather.” There’s nothing better than sending them a random question and seeing how they react. It’s a great way to see how they think and spark a funny conversation about why they think one option is better than the other. Get them laughing with other questions like:
    • “Would you rather live on the moon or under water?”
    • “Would you rather travel to the past or the future?”
    • “Would you rather have to whisper or shout when you talk?”
    • “Would you rather be 20% smarter or 20% more attractive?”
    • “Would you rather only be able to listen to music or watch TV?”

What Are The Best Questions To Ask On a First Date?


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Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about dating questions, check out our in-depth interview with Christina Jay, NLP.

About This Article

Christina Jay, NLP
Co-authored by:
Dating & Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP and by wikiHow staff writer, Devin McSween. Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University. This article has been viewed 380,796 times.
33 votes - 65%
Co-authors: 8
Updated: July 31, 2025
Views: 380,796
Categories: Online Dating
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 380,796 times.

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