How to Make a Libra Man Feel Guilty

Co-authored by Caroline Heiderscheit Reviewed by Stina Garbis

Last Updated: January 8, 2025 Fact Checked

Getting an apology from your Libra boyfriend is usually a snap. These guys can feel sick with guilt, and when they know they've hurt someone, apologies will almost always follow soon after. Some of the time though, men of this sign are actually so freaked by the idea of causing pain that they'll totally avoid addressing it with the person they hurt. This can be really challenging and unsatisfying for their partners. To move past his mistake, you may need him to feel a bit guilty! To get your Libra partner to face his fear and accept that he hurt you, check out these tips below.

1

Tell him he hurt you.

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Sometimes a Libra needs you to spell it out for him. Yes, avoiding confrontation will be a top priority. But doing right by you will be, too. Usually, clearly explaining that his actions hurt you should be enough to get a Libra man feeling guilty. Remind him why this tough conversation is so important to you. If he tries to dodge the discussion, explain that in order for you to forgive him, you need to talk about what's happened.^{[1]
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- Be honest, patient, and focus on how he made you feel. If one of you gets upset, try taking a quick, five-minute breather.
- Focus on using “I feel" statements instead of hitting him with a laundry list of his bad behaviors. This means choosing phrases that focus on your experience rather than your take on his actions. Begin as many sentences as possible with, "I feel..."
- So, instead of saying, “You never listen,” you might choose, “I feel hurt when I have to repeat myself constantly, because it makes me feel like you don't care about what I have to say."
- The goal here is for you to get your point across without making him feel too attacked. That way, nothing will get in the way of you saying what you need to or your Libra feeling ready to apologize!

2

Write him a letter.

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If you have trouble talking things out, letter writing can help. Most Libras will want to apologize the second they know they’ve hurt you. The challenge here, again, is making sure you don’t unintentionally push too hard. A Libra's fear of confrontation could make him desperate to ditch the conversation, leaving you totally unsatisfied.
- A letter lets you say exactly what you want — and only what you want. Plus, for an easily spooked Libra man, this may be less intense than a long discussion.^{[4]
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- Again, center your message around how you feel. Don't think of this as just a chance to vent about everything he's done wrong.
- Rely on “I feel” statements throughout your apology.
- A letter could give him the chance to truly understand how much he hurt you. When he gets it, he’ll probably be eager to apologize!^{[5]
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3

Encourage him to talk.

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No confrontation should be totally one sided. When you’ve been super hurt by someone, it’ll be so hard to listen to what they have to say with an empathetic ear. When you’re trying to get a Libra man to feel the weight of his mistake, though, this will be a really important effort to make. He’s a smart guy who prefers to be reasonable, and by talking out his side of the issue, he may be able to see things a bit more clearly.^{[6]
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- Libra men are afraid of confrontation and afraid of their own feelings. Chances are, he's going to be nervous or unwilling. You can't force him, so instead, assure him you'll be as patient and understanding as you can. Try to stick to those promises!
- If he does choose to tell you how he feels, let him get it all out. The goal here is to let him realize he hurt you on his own. This way, he won't feel threatened and he won't shut down. This may help him come to terms with his role in your hurt and ultimately, help him to feel a bit guilty.

4

Ask him if he knows why you feel hurt.

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If you help him think it through, your Libra man may start to feel sorry all on his own. Though he's not keen on confronting his negative emotions, he's also sharp and logical and ultimately wants to know he's done his best to treat you right.^{[8]
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- Try to stay calm and avoid getting heated. Plan your question ahead of time. For example, you could ask something like, “Do you understand why I’m upset?”
- If you’re really angry (and a pleasant tone doesn’t sound super appealing!), remember that some Libras will be tempted to shut down when they feel like they're under fire. Be gracious, and you’ll be more likely to get that apology!

5

Use someone else as an example.

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He may be more willing to notice bad behavior in someone else than in himself. Usually, it's best to clearly express what’s bothering you instead of dropping hints. But if you feel like addressing your hurt head on is out of the question, then drawing a comparison may help your Libra understand why his behavior hurt you.^{[10]
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- For instance, say you feel he flirts with others in front of you. Find a couple with a similar relationship dynamic to yours. This could be anyone, from characters on TV to a person in your circle of acquaintances.
- When your example character crosses the line, mention it. If the acquaintance disrespects his partner in front of you both, wait until you’re alone and then mention it.
- Walk through your thoughts and draw a clear comparison. For instance, say, “I really don’t like how he treats his partner. It’s disrespectful to flirt when you’re in a relationship, and I bet his partner feels hurt.”
- This drops a hint at how you feel while also helping him witness similar behavior from the outside. This could definitely help him see his mistake and ultimately, feel a bit guilty!

6

Put him in your shoes.

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A Libra on defense may need help to understand your perspective. Most Libras will apologize the second you tell them how you feel. Some, though, will try their best to avoid feeling like the bad guy. If he's not getting it, or if you feel like he's apologizing quickly to avoid a hard conversation, try putting him in your shoes.^{[11]
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- Say lately, when you've been excited about plans, he's been breaking them at the minute.
- Try putting this into a new context. "I go to all of your art shows, which you really care about. Imagine if I kept promising I'd be there, and then at the last minute, I'd say I couldn't go."
- By taking time to really understand your perspective, he may be able to accept how his actions caused you pain. As long as he knows he hurt you and is able to really confront that fact, he’ll feel sorry!

7

Remind him of promises he's made.

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If you feel your Libra man keeps breaking promises, remind him. A Libra man may really want to hit snooze when it comes to confronting his mistakes or accepting flaws in your relationship. So, when you've brought up bad behavior in the past, he may have said whatever he needed to just to make the issue disappear. Promises without following through, though, can be really tough on a partner.
- Remind him of the specific promises he’s made in the past. If relevant, include how many times he’s made those promises.
- Try something like this, "I believe you care about me and want to make me a priority. On the other hand, you've promised me that you would try harder to make time for me. You've made that promise about five times in the last few months, but I haven't seen any follow through yet."
- Choose to speak with as much kindness and respect as possible. This will make him more likely to engage with the conversation. This could help him gain perspective on his hurtful patterns and begin to feel guilty for hurting you.^{[12]
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8

Don’t give an ultimatum.

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An ultimatum will stress out a Libra, but it won't help him to feel sorry. When you want someone to feel guilty, an ultimatum can be tempting. Forcing your relationship into an all-or-nothing scenario sometimes seems like it could put your partner back in touch with your relationship’s value. But with a Libra, this will probably backfire. Instead of getting him to treat you better, it’s more likely to bring on a classic, decision-driven Libra freak out.^{[13]
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- He probably thinks it's impossible to choose where to take you to breakfast. Making a decision this important will be unfathomable. Plus, he might resent you for putting the decision on him.
- The stress of the decision will be totally all-consuming. Finally accepting guilt for his mistake will be the last thing on his mind!

9

Take a break from your relationship to think.

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If it feels like your Libra never feels guilty, a break may help. Sometimes, a Libra’s fear of hurting other people can actually make him more prone to causing pain. It may be that he’s too afraid to accept his own actions (and the feelings associated with them). Or possibly, he apologizes to keep the peace without really understanding your point of view. After a while, this can really start to hurt!^{[14]
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- Before bringing it up to your Libra man, really think the decision through. Ask yourself if you genuinely want time to apart or if this might actually be a way to get a reaction out of him. If you are trying to get a reaction, consider taking a different approach instead.
- Time alone to think could be just what he needs to finally see how he's making you feel. Once he does, he'll probably be ready to apologize.^{[16]
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10

Walk away.

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He may not see that he hurt you until you leave. Ask yourself if you're getting what you need from your relationship. Have you clearly communicated what you need from him? If yes, consider whether or not he’s really trying or really able to give you what you're asking for. You probably won't be happy in a relationship with someone who can't or won't respect your basic needs. If you need him to feel guilty when he's hurt you and he can't do that, it might be time to step away.^{[17]
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- Don't go this route unless it’s what you really want. Avoid breaking up with him just to cause him to feel guilt. If you plan to resume the relationship after you get what you want, you’re just hurting him and hurting what you have together.^{[19]
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- It may be the relationship's end that finally makes him recognize his hurtful behavior. Libras are always trying to keep the peace. He’ll see that a breakup is even more disruptive than the fights he avoided would've been, and this could definitely cause him to see his actions more clearly.^{[20]
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11

Thrive without him.

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He may only feel guilty when he sees you living your best life. Because they can be masters of repressing guilty feelings, it may not be until he sees how well you’re doing without him that he starts to feel bad.
- Have fun with your appearance. Change your hair, buy a new outfit, or get that piercing you’ve been thinking about forever. Libra men are all about beauty and aesthetics, so changes here will definitely be noticed!^{[21]
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- Enjoy being a social butterfly. Libras admire charming, friendly people who love a good chat. By getting yourself out there and living it up at a party or dinner, you’ll show him exactly what he’s missing. While you’re out having the time of your life, it might finally click for him.
- Don’t make your breakup self-growth period totally about him, though. Go out and live for yourself! Libras are fickle creatures who love to idealize others. By putting your new, thriving, beautiful self out there, he’ll totally feel guilty for letting you down. By this time though, you might not even care!

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