What if I like my BFF but she has a bf?
I have a crush on my bestie. She has a bf. I've liked her for 2 years now and cant get over it. I've told her and she wasn't surprised so I told her that I didn't anymore. What should I do?
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It's always important to be aware of what boundaries exist and to respect them. Depending on the relationship, sometimes it may make sense to just be direct and be like “Hey, what are you doing?” and call them out about their relationship. And it may be even appropriate to let them know “Hey, I like you. I have feelings. I want to develop a relationship with you. Do you want to keep things going with that person, regardless?” It just depends on the situation, of course. You can be that confident and that direct with somebody. The other thing is, if they're not interested, and unable to reciprocate, then you may have to draw some boundaries to protect yourself.
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The sad truth about having feelings for a friend is that once you have feelings for a friend, they are no longer a friend, and they can never be just a friend to you ever again. That is just the truth, but it’s an empowering thing to know you’ve found an important boundary. You have to really weigh what is more important to you: this person's friendship, or the potential of a relationship with this person.
If you've decided that a potential relationship is worth more than their friendship, you can take the steps to pursue that. If you value them more as a friend, you need to find a way to get past your feelings. But if you still have those feelings in a friendship, it is no longer a friendship. They are not your friend, and you should not pretend to treat them like one. It's unfair not only to them, but your future partners.
If you do want to pursue them romantically, do more solo activities with them. Hang out outside of a group setting and then once have experienced more alone time with them, that's a good time to explore that relationship. Be upfront and say, “Listen, you're super attractive. I know we’re just friends but I'd love to see what happens with this.” Just put it out there and be honest. Either you get a romantic partner, or they say they’re not interested and you can move on knowing it was never possible to date anyway.
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If you've decided that a potential relationship is worth more than their friendship, you can take the steps to pursue that. If you value them more as a friend, you need to find a way to get past your feelings. But if you still have those feelings in a friendship, it is no longer a friendship. They are not your friend, and you should not pretend to treat them like one. It's unfair not only to them, but your future partners.
If you do want to pursue them romantically, do more solo activities with them. Hang out outside of a group setting and then once have experienced more alone time with them, that's a good time to explore that relationship. Be upfront and say, “Listen, you're super attractive. I know we’re just friends but I'd love to see what happens with this.” Just put it out there and be honest. Either you get a romantic partner, or they say they’re not interested and you can move on knowing it was never possible to date anyway.
I've tried... I cant seem to move past this though. I try to think of her as a friend but half of my mind says she's a friend while the other says she is cute, lovable and perfect. she thought abt breaking up with her bf.
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Well, how interested are you? She has a boyfriend which is a road block for sure. However, if you can’t shake the feeling maybe you really like her. Be patient, relationships come and go and maybe at some point she will be available and you can make your move! In the meantime, try to focus less on her and more on you. Sir yourself the estate possible version of you so when the time comes, you’ll be ready!!
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If she has a boyfriend, pursuing her right now isn't the best idea—she’s in a committed relationship so it's best to respect that. Also, if you told her how you feel and she didn't reciprocate, then it's probably time to try and move on. If it’s really emotionally draining or difficult to see her with someone else, try backing off a little bit and spending more time with your other friends. Also, try meeting new people and dating around a little bit. Go out with other girls and just give it time. You’ll get over your crush and find someone new in time.
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Look, life’s too short to wait around for someone who’s already made it clear they’re not interested. If the road is blocked, why not explore new paths? Go out, have fun, meet new people, and let the options come to you. Sometimes, the best way to get over someone is realizing there are plenty more stories to live. Who knows? In the process, you might just discover that the real game is not putting all your feelings on one card.
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first of all are you a girl because if you are then she wouldnt take it seirously thinking it as a joke or same probably even if you a boy but well if you like her som much and you cant forget about her. I want to let you know life is life and the worst thing to do is to put too much preassure on it and think about it often and just you know make it big but the best thing to do is to ignore step away from it and take a break. There are many girls out there who can be perfect for you and that are pretty out there. She's not the only pretty girl in the world so dont worry about it too much. You can still be freinds with her but then for now just focus one something else
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