What does a good dating profile look like for a guy?
I think I’m a relatively attractive guy with some decent things going for me. I have a good job, a car etc. I know I’m not Ryan Gosling, but it still feels like I’m just not getting the matches I should be on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge. I’ve asked a few of my guy friends to review my profile and they all say it’s fine, but they’re not exactly crushing the dating game either, so I’m not totally sure I can trust them on this one. I’d love to get some ideas from the ladies out there—what are you looking for when you’re browsing the dating apps? What do you want to see in the perfect guy’s bio? What is it about a profile that makes you go, “He’s a catch”? What kinds of photos are you looking for? Any and all advice is deeply appreciated!
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I find that men often don't have selfies of themselves or great photos of just them–most of their pictures are group pics or action shots. So, if you don't have good photos, why not just get some professional photos taken that really show you in your element? Then, you can mix those in with other shots of you that are less flattering and polished. The general rule of thumb for anyone's profile is that you have to be the star of your profile. That means that pictures with other people potentially give someone a reason to say no to you or a reason to confuse you with other people in your photos. You want to keep the attention and the focus on you.
Use what I call the Three C's – Color, Context, and Character. Color is strategic. It is to stand out from the crowd. No white button downs. Anything that doesn't have a story to it or isn't memorable will get swiped past. And that primary photo is really important. If you consider it again, from the perspective of someone swiping, they're going through picture after picture after picture, they might not even be getting to your second photo. You have to give them a reason to stop and pay attention. Color is really strategic in that way. A lot of times, I'll recommend the color red, because we are psychologically conditioned to see red, stop, and pay attention.
The second C is context. If you go past someone's first photo and further into the profile, that's where we need the context. That's telling your story through your photos. What do you like to do? What part of town do you live in? Tell your story visually, conveyed at a glance. This approach gets that person more invested than if you've just written it on the page.
The third C is character. This is the one that most people forget. This is showing your personality. It's showing your fun side, your wild side, your quirky side, your goofy side, your nerdy side. It's the picture that usually someone will comment on because there is so much in there to unpack with the person. And that's really the goal of the profile. Get them to stop and pay attention. Get them to like you and then get them to engage with the message. I try to make my advice as actionable and simple as possible. And then just one more guideline that might be helpful for profile writing. You want to also have a mix of face and body photos. And you also want to be aware of the focal point of the photo. Where does the eye go when someone looks at your photo initially? A lot of the apps now will crop your picture to square. Again, consider it from the point of view of the person that is going to be looking at it and how they will see it. And sometimes, a picture that is cropped to square will not look the same. If it's like a full body or three-quarter shot, it will not look the same that you will not focus in on the same things when it is sort of shrunken down to square format.
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Use what I call the Three C's – Color, Context, and Character. Color is strategic. It is to stand out from the crowd. No white button downs. Anything that doesn't have a story to it or isn't memorable will get swiped past. And that primary photo is really important. If you consider it again, from the perspective of someone swiping, they're going through picture after picture after picture, they might not even be getting to your second photo. You have to give them a reason to stop and pay attention. Color is really strategic in that way. A lot of times, I'll recommend the color red, because we are psychologically conditioned to see red, stop, and pay attention.
The second C is context. If you go past someone's first photo and further into the profile, that's where we need the context. That's telling your story through your photos. What do you like to do? What part of town do you live in? Tell your story visually, conveyed at a glance. This approach gets that person more invested than if you've just written it on the page.
The third C is character. This is the one that most people forget. This is showing your personality. It's showing your fun side, your wild side, your quirky side, your goofy side, your nerdy side. It's the picture that usually someone will comment on because there is so much in there to unpack with the person. And that's really the goal of the profile. Get them to stop and pay attention. Get them to like you and then get them to engage with the message. I try to make my advice as actionable and simple as possible. And then just one more guideline that might be helpful for profile writing. You want to also have a mix of face and body photos. And you also want to be aware of the focal point of the photo. Where does the eye go when someone looks at your photo initially? A lot of the apps now will crop your picture to square. Again, consider it from the point of view of the person that is going to be looking at it and how they will see it. And sometimes, a picture that is cropped to square will not look the same. If it's like a full body or three-quarter shot, it will not look the same that you will not focus in on the same things when it is sort of shrunken down to square format.
You say you're a good-looking guy, and I'm sure you are, but do your photos represent that? It may seem obvious, but a good profile picture for Bumble or Tinder or any one of those is not the same as a good profile for LinkedIn. I was coaching a client who used his LinkedIn picture in his dating profiles, and while it was very nice looking, he was very professional and it didn't come across as warm or fun—it didn't make potential dates say "I'd like to meet this person." There are different pictures for different contexts.
So, get five pictures together where you come across warm and approachable. Put your best picture first, that's your lead picture. And then if you have a picture, that is your weakest of, say, the five or the six or whatever, put that one in the middle, and then put your second strongest picture at the very end. So the very first thing that they see and the very last thing that they see, those are your strongest pictures.
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So, get five pictures together where you come across warm and approachable. Put your best picture first, that's your lead picture. And then if you have a picture, that is your weakest of, say, the five or the six or whatever, put that one in the middle, and then put your second strongest picture at the very end. So the very first thing that they see and the very last thing that they see, those are your strongest pictures.
The most important thing is to keep your bio simple, straightforward, and real. Make a dating profile that represents your interests, lifestyle, and personality, and be very clear about why you're on Tinder (or whatever app it is). A lot of people are afraid to put why they're online and what they're looking for because they want to cast a really wide net of people. But what happens is that you attract the wrong people, or no people. So when you're very clear about why you are online, whether it's Tinder or other dating sites, that helps filter the people who are not right for you from messaging you and helps you attract those people who are really the right fit for you in terms of your goals and your vision for what you want in your life.
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I know some of my friends have been tempted to exaggerate their height. That's a dangerous game to play. Even if it attracts more women, the kind of women that are attracted by that will be disappointed when they find out you're shorter than they expected. Yes, you want to show off your best self on dating apps, but don't exaggerate or lie!
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Do you have a dog or a cat? If you do, I’d include at least one photo where you’re holding them. First of all, who doesn’t like pets? Second, it demonstrates that you’re an animal guy and most women are into that. Third, it gives you something to talk about when women message you, so it’s sort of like the ideal inclusion for a dating profile.
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When it comes to the pictures, I know that I automatically swipe left whenever I see a guy holding a fish. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never interacted with a fish guy and had it go well. I’ll also swipe left on shirtless gym pics and selfies where a guy is holding the camera up to his face in the mirror. So…yeah. That would be my advice. No fish photos, shirtless gym photos, or camera-where-the-face-goes selfies.
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Make your profile fun and engaging. Be yourself, but be unique! Also, think about what kind of person would be a good match for you, and write your profile to attract that kind of person. Are you really active socially and looking for someone to go on adventures and to parties with? Say that, and briefly mention some cool trips you've taken or activities you're into. Or, are you more of a homebody who's looking for someone to just chill with and listen to music or watch movies? Say that and mention some of your favorite musical artists and films.
Also, be direct about whether you're just looking for a hookup or if you're actually interested in a relationship. You can also add a question to the end of your bio to give potential matches something to respond to, and their answer can help you figure out if you'd be compatible.
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Also, be direct about whether you're just looking for a hookup or if you're actually interested in a relationship. You can also add a question to the end of your bio to give potential matches something to respond to, and their answer can help you figure out if you'd be compatible.
totally agree. as a woman, i can tell you that the guys that get my attention are straightforward about what they're looking for, but they also include 1 or 2 details about their personality and interests so i can get a sense of if we're maybe compatible/if it's worth chatting with them. plus, if you add a little humor, that's a big bonus. but if you're not naturally super funny, don't force it and don't steal "funny" pickup lines from the internet, just be real and chill and don't take the app too seriously. the biggest red flag for me is guys who seem to take dating apps very seriously. it's just fun!
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Reader Tips from The Best Tinder Bios & Tips for Guys
The goal of matching with someone on Tinder should be to meet up with them, so keep your profile simple and straightforward. Be upfront about why you're there, share a bit about your likes/dislikes/preferences, post some attractive (but honest) photos, and otherwise, save all the get-to-know-you stuff for the actual date.
Don't steal bio ideas from the internet. Make up your own profile! It'll show you're genuine.
Reader Tips from How to Make a Good Tinder Profile
Don't post pictures of you with other people that potential matches could misconstrue as your partner. Also, make sure your first photo is only of you, not with your friends, so that any potential match doesn't have to wonder which person is you.
If you're a straight guy, ask a straight girl friend to look at your profile and tell you what she thinks. It could be awkward, but it could also give you really helpful feedback to implement.
Reader Tips from How to Write a Good Online Dating Profile
Treat your bio like an essay you're writing for school. Draft it, then look at it again the next day to see if it still sounds good or if you need to make edits. And maybe even have a friend "peer review" it to make sure it sounds okay and doesn't have any glaring typos.
Don't have ChatGPT write your bios. Not being able to write your own bio is a red flag and a turn-off.
