need advice, I fell for this boy at first glance
I fell for this boy at first glance. But he probably always looked at me like glass. The blue eyes were light in the sky when he was happy. Dark as the ocean when he was sad. He has this smile that sinks into your heart and makes you turn lost. His gentleness. I never had someone really. But when I saw him I felt cared for.
He is smart, funny, hardworking, devoted, and kind. I saw him for his flaws. And the way he made me feel. When I first saw him I never saw something so hurt inside but well put together. I saw that pain that others overlooked. That was 7th grade.
In 8th grade I watched him fall for another girl. That only liked him for his looks. And that hurt the most seeing him love someone that was not me. But he probably didn't;t even know my name. Connor deserves a lot more I tell myself. Instead of a girl that had anger issues and treated him like trash.9th grade. He finally said my name. Now everytime he says it I sink. That was the year I found out we had something in common: we both don't have mothers. We both were searching for a way to fill that emptiness. Now I could put a pin point on that hurt. That is when I would say the obsession started. When I started to care more about my appearance. Would make sure he was listening. Then I started to turn the little things into a big thing. Like he looked at me and I fell harder. Or our hands touched and it felt like I was watching fireworks on fourth July except they came from my heart. I told him I liked him and his friend. That when I kept chasing I would say.
10th grade. It got harder. The feeling felt impossible. That is when I was able to fully say I love you. But I didn't tell him.
This year. I sat next to him a couple months ago. We had to because the teacher always signs us next to each other.
Dec 6. I was in a relationship for the first time. And All I thought about was him. And that relationship was horrible because that dude said I couldn't leave him if I tried and that we were going to get married. We dated for two weeks. Guess who I told about it. to get help to get out Connor.
Dec 28. I told Connor this "I love you I never meant to fall this hard or even this way I did tho. But Connor I feel for your caring, how smart you are, how hardworking you are. And since the day I met you I saw your pain. And I love you to the point it actually hurts me. And I hope one day I learn to stop so it doesn't hurt anymore" Then the bell rang. He was almost in tears. Then I gave him space. Then our conversation about dirt bikes and trucks and four wheels started again.
Then Around in march he started to get a little too friendly I guess you could say with Mia and Izzy the girls that threw my sketchbook across the room and broke the spin. So I had to buy a new sketchbook which isn't cheap. He drove Miah home. And the what if ran threw my mind. Like what if they hook up. And so I left him after that.
But it was 3 weeks later and I noticed him looking and waiting to see my reaction. But I could be making it up to be something not. We walk and talk. About things when we could. So today at the end of the school day walking to our trucks I asked " Connor, how would you feel if you never saw me again." He replied "Not too bad."
Now I am sitting here crying. And wondering what to do. It started four years ago. All my family says you're too young to know what love is or anything. I think I know what it is like when my mother abandoned me. Deep down I want someone to love me and fight for me the way I do. Really I don't know what to do. I want the best for Connor. But I just don't know how to move on. I tried it all so maybe y'all can help
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He is smart, funny, hardworking, devoted, and kind. I saw him for his flaws. And the way he made me feel. When I first saw him I never saw something so hurt inside but well put together. I saw that pain that others overlooked. That was 7th grade.
In 8th grade I watched him fall for another girl. That only liked him for his looks. And that hurt the most seeing him love someone that was not me. But he probably didn't;t even know my name. Connor deserves a lot more I tell myself. Instead of a girl that had anger issues and treated him like trash.9th grade. He finally said my name. Now everytime he says it I sink. That was the year I found out we had something in common: we both don't have mothers. We both were searching for a way to fill that emptiness. Now I could put a pin point on that hurt. That is when I would say the obsession started. When I started to care more about my appearance. Would make sure he was listening. Then I started to turn the little things into a big thing. Like he looked at me and I fell harder. Or our hands touched and it felt like I was watching fireworks on fourth July except they came from my heart. I told him I liked him and his friend. That when I kept chasing I would say.
10th grade. It got harder. The feeling felt impossible. That is when I was able to fully say I love you. But I didn't tell him.
This year. I sat next to him a couple months ago. We had to because the teacher always signs us next to each other.
Dec 6. I was in a relationship for the first time. And All I thought about was him. And that relationship was horrible because that dude said I couldn't leave him if I tried and that we were going to get married. We dated for two weeks. Guess who I told about it. to get help to get out Connor.
Dec 28. I told Connor this "I love you I never meant to fall this hard or even this way I did tho. But Connor I feel for your caring, how smart you are, how hardworking you are. And since the day I met you I saw your pain. And I love you to the point it actually hurts me. And I hope one day I learn to stop so it doesn't hurt anymore" Then the bell rang. He was almost in tears. Then I gave him space. Then our conversation about dirt bikes and trucks and four wheels started again.
Then Around in march he started to get a little too friendly I guess you could say with Mia and Izzy the girls that threw my sketchbook across the room and broke the spin. So I had to buy a new sketchbook which isn't cheap. He drove Miah home. And the what if ran threw my mind. Like what if they hook up. And so I left him after that.
But it was 3 weeks later and I noticed him looking and waiting to see my reaction. But I could be making it up to be something not. We walk and talk. About things when we could. So today at the end of the school day walking to our trucks I asked " Connor, how would you feel if you never saw me again." He replied "Not too bad."
Now I am sitting here crying. And wondering what to do. It started four years ago. All my family says you're too young to know what love is or anything. I think I know what it is like when my mother abandoned me. Deep down I want someone to love me and fight for me the way I do. Really I don't know what to do. I want the best for Connor. But I just don't know how to move on. I tried it all so maybe y'all can help
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It's very easy to project onto all of your hopes and desires for love onto someone like this, but it's very important not to do that. One way to prevent it from happening is whenever you notice yourself going into that fantasy, tell your mind to stop and focus back on the present moment. You really consciously and mindfully stop your mind from going there because that fantasy and projection can just grow and grow and grow until your level of knowing a person and your level of fantasy is very disproportionate.
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It sounds like there's a lot of history between you and him, and that can definitely make it harder to move on. It hurts when the guy you've fallen for doesn't have the same feelings back, but that means that he probably wasn't the right fit for you for a long-term relationship.
To get over him, take time to focus your energy on your relationship with yourself and feeling happy on your own. Write down all the qualities you love about yourself and what other people appreciate about you because you have so much to offer! Make sure to spend time with other friends that fill you up with joy, and don't be afraid to ask for their advice too.
If you and Connor are meant to be, it will happen when the time is right, but don't put your life on pause while you're waiting. While there's always a chance he might come back and show you he's interested again, you have the opportunity to meet someone who is giving off the same energy that you are.
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To get over him, take time to focus your energy on your relationship with yourself and feeling happy on your own. Write down all the qualities you love about yourself and what other people appreciate about you because you have so much to offer! Make sure to spend time with other friends that fill you up with joy, and don't be afraid to ask for their advice too.
If you and Connor are meant to be, it will happen when the time is right, but don't put your life on pause while you're waiting. While there's always a chance he might come back and show you he's interested again, you have the opportunity to meet someone who is giving off the same energy that you are.
Don't worry about it. He may be really interested in you, but may be scared to show it. You should really try to move on like ,Itsss Amyyyy!' said.
Terrible thing has happened to you. You should let any more negativity in your life.
You're an amazing, brave and beautiful person. Never ever forget that!
đź’–
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Terrible thing has happened to you. You should let any more negativity in your life.
You're an amazing, brave and beautiful person. Never ever forget that!
đź’–
I'm so sorry this is happening to you girl, For this whole situation that is going on with you, with that boy and the other girls I could say a lot but the short answer to fix this whole situation is to just get over him. Don't try to at all think about him. Enjoy what you love doing and surround you self with positivity and with people who make you happy. You know there are a lot more guys out there waiting for you and that you are even maybe waiting for. He's not the only hot one that's around. There are tons. And those girls are not gonna get her life. What are they gonna do in life? who where hurting you? This ain't gonna bring them anything for life. Connor I feel like is just looking for looks which I 'sent the guy you want. He isn't true then. And you are beautiful. You have a beautiful glowing heart, personality and yourself. Your beautiful in the inside and the outside. You know, real beauty come's inside within, not outside. The whole point of this situation is to just get rid of him. Get him outta your mind girl. Throw him out like a piece of garbage! Like I said he's not the only love at first glance boy you got, there are a lot's more! You got it girl! :) This jerk boy can date any jerks but they are just all yahoos. Especially in your mind. He should regret not going for a beautiful, loving, kind and awesome girl like you! He's just a yahoo in life. And wait and watch, BOOM! There's the yahoo sitting down and crying. OHHHH come back! I love you I'm sorry. Which will happen. I'm telling you right now instead of just wasting your time think about these yahoo jerks you really should move on and start out fresh girl. And I know you can do this. I know your awesome, gorgeous and that your brave to step any feelings you got for challenge. But I'm telling you again YOU COAN DO THIS. :)
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