How to Find Older Women Interested in Dating Younger Guys

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Plus, tips for flirting with an older woman

Co-authored by Jessica January Behr, PsyD and Dev Murphy, MA

Last Updated: May 13, 2025 Fact Checked

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• Finding Older Women
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• Flirting with Older Women
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• What to Consider
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• Are my feelings normal?
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• Tips

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Looking for an attractive older woman to date? Whether you’re into women only a few years older or a few decades older, we can help you meet your perfect match, either online or out in the wild. From dating apps to flirting tips, we’ve got everything you need to know about how to find, chat up, and date an attractive older woman. We also spoke to licensed clinical psychologist Jessica January Behr for her tips on what to consider when dating an older woman. Keep reading to learn more!

Where can you meet older women interested in younger men?

• Use apps dedicated to finding older women to date, like Older Women Dating or Cougar Life, or set your Bumble, Tinder, or Hinge age range higher.
• Explore Facebook groups and subreddits dedicated to helping young men and older women meet.
• Chat up older women when you run into them at the grocery store, mall, or gym.
• Take classes older women might also attend, like pottery classes, yoga, or cooking classes.

Steps

Section 1 of 4:

Finding Older Women Looking for Younger Men

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1. 
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   Try an app dedicated to dating older women. In this day and age, 30% of people use dating apps to find compatible singles in their area, and they’re how more than 10% of people meet their partners. You could be one of them! There are even dating apps dedicated to specific types of relationships—including apps for younger guys looking to meet older women (and vice versa). The best part? Many of them are free!

   • Try Older Women Dating, CougarD, Zoosk, or Cougar Life—apps dedicated to helping you find an older woman to date or meet up with.
   • Or use a general dating app like Bumble, Tinder, or Hinge, and set your age preferences to the age you’re interested in. (Just be sure not to lie about your age: they’ll find out quickly! Plus, many older women are actively looking to date young guys, so your age is an asset!)
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   Volunteer with organizations that older women may participate in. Help the world and meet your soulmate at the same time! Did you know that middle-aged women are the demographic most likely to volunteer? Volunteer at your local food bank, prison abolition group, animal rescue, or other organization that supports a cause you’re passionate about—you’re bound to meet older women with the same values!

   • Are you an older woman looking for a younger guy? Men are more likely to volunteer for political, economic, and scientific causes. If you’re looking to meet a guy while giving back to the world, consider volunteering for a political campaign, at a science museum, or with the American Association for the Advancement of Science.
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   Try Facebook or Reddit pages where young men and older women connect. Whether you’re a young guy looking for an older woman or an older woman in search of a younger guy, there are Facebook groups and subreddits dedicated to helping younger dudes and older women find each other. You might even find a match in your area!

   • Try the Dating Older Women or Older Women Meet Younger Men groups on Facebook, or the Cougars and Cubs subreddit.
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   Go to the gym. Get yourself a gym membership and chat up the cuties (respectfully, of course). One study indicated 26% of people polled met a partner while they were working out, and 73% said exercising together strengthens a relationship. Put these stats to the test by becoming a regular at your local gym and casually striking up conversation with an attractive older woman. Here are a few things you can say to break the ice (in a not-weird way):

   • “I’ve never used this machine before. Do you know how to do it?”
   • “I think we’re in the same spin class together—how do you like it? My legs are still dead from this morning’s workout!”
   • Pro tip: If you want to catch a woman’s eye, take a swimming lesson or two. Studies show women are extra impressed by men who swim.
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   Take classes older women might attend, like yoga, cooking, or pottery. You can meet older women just about anywhere, but there are certain places they may be more likely to go. For instance, it’s estimated that most yoga students are middle-aged women, so a yoga studio could be a great place to get to know older women. You could also try cooking classes, pottery classes, or dance classes.

   • Of course, don’t be “that guy” who takes a class just to flirt with women, especially if you aren’t actually interested in yoga. Be graceful if the women you chat up aren’t interested in talking to you, and don’t take it personally—they’re there for yoga!
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   Join a book club at your local library or bookstore. Most libraries and some bookstores offer free book clubs for members of the community to join, meet other book lovers, and discuss literature. Guess who loves books? Women! One study showed public book clubs were made up of roughly 50% women and 50% men (but when it comes to private book clubs, members are overwhelmingly women). Another study suggests people in their 30s and 40s specifically represent a large chunk of book club attendees.

   • In other words, see what clubs your local library or indie bookstore has to offer—you’re likely to meet a woman in her 30s or 40s to bond with over your new favorite book!
   • Fun fact: According to one study, women believe reading is the most attractive hobby a man could engage in.
   • Are you an older woman looking for a younger guy? Stats indicate about 25% of men claim reading is their favorite leisure activity, so if you’re looking to meet an eligible guy, a book club isn’t a bad place to start!
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   Flirt with an older woman at the store. When it comes down to it, you can meet a cute older woman just about anywhere—including the grocery store or the mall. Next time you’re stocking up on essentials at Giant Eagle, ask the cutie next to you which flavor of carbonated water she recommends. Or next time you’re shopping for a new wardrobe at Target, ask the hottie near you if the jacket you’re trying on looks all right. It’ll get a conversation going…and maybe you’ll exchange numbers.
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Section 2 of 4:

Flirting with Older Women

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1. 
   1
   Make eye contact and smile. Get her attention by showing you’re paying attention to her—especially if you’re somewhere people don’t traditionally go to meet someone, like the grocery store. Making eye contact and offering a genuine smile will show her you’re interested.

   • For the best results, make eye contact at least a few times—after all, we make eye contact with strangers by accident all the time! To be sure she’s picking up what you’re laying down, meet her gaze at least 2 or 3 times.
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   Offer an innocuous compliment. Don’t dive into “You’re one hot mama,” obviously—start with a more neutral compliment like “I love your scarf” or “You have beautiful hair.” She’s sure to smile and say thanks, and it might even get a conversation going. If it doesn’t, no biggie! There are loads of other wonderful women out there.

   • You may be able to get an idea of whether she’s returning the vibes by her body language: if she faces you with her arms loose and open and her feet pointed at you, that’s a good sign! Exposing her wrists or neck is also an indication she’s into you.
   • You might notice a lot of our tips for flirting with an older woman are the same tips you’d use to flirt with a young woman. Well, that’s because older women are women, folks, and you flirt with them in basically the same way, regardless of their age.
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   If the conversation goes well, ask for her number. If she seems to be returning your flirtatious energy, say, “Hey, I’ve enjoyed talking to you, and I’d love to get your number.” It’s still possible she’ll say no at this point, and that’s fine—but if she’s been flirty so far, it’s likely she’ll be happy to trade phone numbers.

   • You might even be more direct about your intentions and say, “I’d love your number so I can call/text you later to make plans. Is that OK?” or “I’d really love to go out sometime. May I have your number?”
   • The one way in which flirting with an older woman is different from flirting with a younger woman is she might not realize you’re flirting at first, especially if you’re significantly younger. But asking for her number—especially if you say you want to take her out—is a pretty big sign you’re into her, so there’s really no mistaking your intentions here!
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   Flirt over text by asking her questions about herself. Once you’ve gotten her number, take your flirtation to the next level by sending her playful but thoughtful texts about her experiences in life and what she’s looking for in a partner. If you’re stumped, try one of these:

   • “Where is your favorite place you’ve traveled?”
   • “What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you?”
   • “Have you ever dated a younger guy before? 😏” (Use this only when you’re feeling really gutsy!)
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   Send her a hot selfie once you’ve texted back and forth a bit. Maybe one of you biting your lip or staring deep into her eyes—erm, deep into the camera. If she sends one back, you’re in!

   • Note: We did not say to send a nude. Nowhere did we say to send her a nude. (........Unless??)
   • Seriously, though, she might be into a nude—but wait until you’ve been flirting for a while and preface it with something like, “I’d love to send you a more explicit photo of me… 😏” Don’t pressure her if she says no: she may not be interested in taking things further—or she may just need more time!
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Section 3 of 4:

What to Consider When Dating an Older Woman

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1. 
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   You may or may not mesh with one another’s social circles. Behr stresses that it’s important to “[consider]...how someone with a significant age gap can fit into your life as it is currently,” including “your current social circles [and] your family and your friendships.” Is it important to you that your partner be able to fit in with your friend group? If yes, how will they fit in?

   • There’s no reason an age gap relationship can’t work out, but the fact remains that people of significantly different ages tend to have significantly different social circles and may enjoy doing very different things in their spare time.
   • If this proves to be an issue for you and/or your partner, your relationship may not work out, unfortunately.
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   They may already have a family you’ll have to interact with. “Older people might have pre-existing families,” Behr points out. “Maybe they have children. How do we feel about those dynamics?” Not every older woman will already have a family, but many will. If she does, how do you fit in? Is this a dynamic you’re comfortable with?

   • If the idea of partnering with someone with a family feels overwhelming, keep in mind it might not end up being as big a deal as it seems at first. That said, it’s important to be honest with yourself about your expectations for the relationship and how you want your dynamic to look.
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   Your finances may look wildly different. “A lot of the time, older people will be more financially stable,” Behr acknowledges. “Is that something that comes into the relationship?” Some younger guys actively want a “sugar mama,” and some older women are actively seeking “sugar babies.” But this isn’t always true, and if you’re looking for a real partnership built on mutual love and respect, it’s important to consider how money plays into things.

   • Will it bother you if your partner is significantly more financially well-off than you? This can be a sore spot for some guys in particular!
   • On the other hand, she’s likely to have had a lot more financial and professional experience than you, and may be able to offer advice and help you advance.
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Section 4 of 4:

Is it “normal” to be attracted to older women as a young guy?

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1. 
   It’s totally OK to be into older women—and very common! When it comes to our sex lives, there’s really no “normal.” But we can tell you it is very common to be attracted to older women. Studies suggest 60% of men are attracted to women who are significantly older than they are. And, 90% of men would be open to dating an older woman.

   • Relationships with large age gaps are socially taboo, but there’s extra societal pressure for men to date women who are younger. So, it’s possible that even more men are into older women than the above studies suggest, and they just don’t want to admit it!

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Tips

• When it comes down to it, finding an older woman to date isn’t much different from finding someone your own age. You’ll often meet a suitable partner, regardless of her age, by putting yourself out there, frequenting places you’re likely to meet people, and pursuing your hobbies and passions.
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