How to Move in Effectively for a Kiss

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: June 13, 2025 References

This article should help all you guys out there move in for a kiss effectively. When used properly, this method even works on the first date.

Steps

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The best place most of the time is one of the participants' houses, at the beach (preferably sunset) or in the cinema. Put in a movie or start watching television, or choose something that is conducive to inactive participation. Make sure that the girl sits down first. Then sit next to her close enough that your thighs are lightly touching but not so much as to cause an uncomfortable situation for the lady.^{[1]
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^{[2]
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Research source} Don't be afraid to take the initiative here—if she's not comfortable with you putting your arm around her, she'll lean away and/or make a comment.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview}

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Be sure to be very sensitive to body language and her feelings.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Soon if she wants to continue escalating the physical contact, which she usually does, she will lean forward slightly.^{[5]
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If she settles into your arm, then it is likely that she wanted you to do this. If it becomes awkward, she probably did not want you to do this.
If she shrugs your hand, this is a hint that she doesn't want you to do this.
^{[6]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Continue moving your hand, and eventually make your way up to her ears, stroke them so gingerly as they are a very erogenous area if you touch them correctly.^{[7]
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Keep stroking the ears. When you think you are ready and she is ready, gently trace your finger along her jaw-line. Then, gently, ever so gently, turn her head towards you and lean in close. While her head is turning and when she gets around to face you, look at her eyes. Go 90% of the way in and let her come in 10%.^{[8]
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- Try playing with her hair, too!
- Reader Poll: We asked 266 wikiHow readers if they like it when someone they like plays with their hair, and 73% of them said yes. [Take Poll]

Join the Discussion...

How do you go in for a kiss?

David Chambers
Dating and Relationship Coach

First off, I'll just say that kissing is so subjective. However, I think, overly fast, jerky movements and vigorous thrusting of the tongues are things to avoid. So, my first piece of advice would be to just slow down. Try to not eat strong smelling foods if you know you’ll be kissing someone. Also, be mindful of angles. Sometimes people come into a really strange angle to kiss someone and surprise kissing people, actually, you know, especially for the first time can, you know, if it's and that kind of comes into the school of like fast movements. Finally, coming in slowly so that the other person has proper time to prepare and understand that you’re hoping to kiss them will help you. It will show that you’re attuned to the other person and increase that connection.

Avoid Awkward Kisses with this Expert Series

Are you worried about having a bad kiss? These expert articles will build your confidence and help you avoid awkward situations.

Move in Effectively for a Kiss

How to Avoid an Awkward First Kiss

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Question

How do you know if he wants to kiss you?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a men’s dating coach and founder of Conquer and Win, a Vancouver-based service that helps men break free from loneliness and meet the women they truly want. Since 2011, he has coached men to overcome approach anxiety, spark real attraction, and build meaningful relationships—without relying on dating apps, gimmicks, or luck. Through both online sessions and in-person coaching, Eddy gives live feedback as clients meet women in everyday places, making confidence feel natural and conversations effortless. His mission is simple: to help men get into meaningful, long-term relationships.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

He'll be looking at your lips and smiling awkwardly. You'll also feel a lot of sexual tension in the moment, and he'll be glancing between your lips and your eyes a lot.

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Tips

Make sure that no one will barge in and ruin the moment, e.g., parents, younger siblings, friends.

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Do everything with the utmost gentleness.

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Sometimes, she doesn't want to on the first date, so it may take some time.

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Warnings

Fresh breath is not only highly recommended , but necessary, nobody wants to lock lips with someone with stinky breath. Brush your teeth at least twice daily, and carry after meal mints. Use them whenever you eat, even after something as small as movie theater popcorn.

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If he or she pulls away just stop trying to kiss him or her.

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For the girl, resting your head on his shoulder once his arm is around you is a great way to suggest you want him to kiss you.

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The same concept can be applied to all aspects of personal cleanliness. Bathe, but not in cologne. One or two sprays or dabs go a very long way.

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Watch for negative body language.

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Be careful touching a girls ears if she has recently gotten any piercings, especially cartilage ones.

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