The 5 Love Languages of the Workplace: Can They Benefit You?

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What your love language says about your work habits

Co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD and Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: August 7, 2023

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• Love Languages at Work
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• Finding Your Love Language
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• How Love Languages Impact Work
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• What are love languages?

|Show more |Show less

Love languages. Those are strictly for romantic relationships, right? Well, not exactly. Believe it or not, your love language can influence how you communicate and interact with others in workplace environments. How so? Keep reading because we’ve outlined how each of the 5 languages of appreciation can affect your professional relationships and career decisions.

Things You Should Know

• There are 5 love languages in the workplace: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch.
• At work, love languages can help you understand how you interact with others and receive feedback.
• Love languages build healthy and positive workplace relationships, as employers can give employees notes they resonate with.

Steps

Section 1 of 4:

The 5 Love Languages in the Workplace

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1. 
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   Words of Affirmation For those who value verbal praise, getting constructive feedback or encouraging notes at work can help them thrive. A simple “Great job!” or “Keep up the good work!” makes their whole day, helping them continue the workday on a positive note. For example, someone with words of affirmation as their love language might enjoy:

   • Receiving verbal compliments or praise from their boss when they’ve done something right.
   • 1-on-1 conversations with colleagues.
   • Supportive team members who are vocal about their appreciation: “Thank you so much for helping me out with that presentation."
   • A glowing written performance review.
   • Receiving shoutouts through an anonymous team "kudos" system.
2. 
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   Acts of Service Those with acts of service as their love language believe that actions speak louder than words. They appreciate people showing up rather than speaking up. Overall, they value when coworkers and bosses offer meaningful gestures to help or support them. This can look like:

   • A coworker turning in a project to them before the deadline.
   • A team member offering to go grab lunch or coffee for them.
   • A colleague organizing a joint work space.
   • A boss taking a responsibility off of their plate and handling it personally instead.
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3. 
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   Quality Time Those who value quality time in relationships believe that the best way to stay accountable is to show up. These people cherish meaningful moments with their colleagues and want to give everyone their undivided attention. They enjoy getting to know their colleagues outside the workplace and value developing positive work relationships. They may enjoy:

   • Office parties or team-building retreats for the company.
   • Spending lunch breaks with their coworkers.
   • 1:1 time with their boss, where they talk about things outside of work.
   • A company culture where it's encouraged for coworkers to chat throughout the day.
4. 
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   Receiving Gifts If someone’s love language is receiving gifts, they likely crave physical rewards. Positive affirmations and praise don’t work as well with them. Gifts with monetary value are especially meaningful to them, and receiving something at work is like a pat on the back. If someone’s love language is receiving gifts, they likely enjoy:

   • Receiving a birthday cake and a gift at work on their birthday.
   • Organizing a White Elephant Gift Exchange on holidays.
   • Bonuses and raises to celebrate high performance.
   • Company gifts for the new year.
5. 
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   Physical Touch While getting intimately physical in the office is inappropriate, casual physical affirmations like high-fives, handshakes, and fist bumps can help some feel more involved and appreciated. The physical touch signals to them that they’re doing a good job. Those with a physical touch love language is physical touch likely enjoy:

   • Getting a fist bump from their boss.
   • A high-five from coworkers after finishing a strong presentation.
   • It’s important to note that not everyone is comfortable with physical touch. In the workplace, it’s vital to respect other people’s boundaries. It's always best to communicate your boundaries (and ask others about theirs). Similarly, even light physical touch, like a fist bump, should only be done to people with whom you have a strong rapport.
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Section 2 of 4:

How do you know what someone’s workplace love language is?

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1. 
   How you prefer to be validated at work is your "love language." In short, if you were to be celebrated or engaged with at work, how would you want someone go about that? A person’s workplace love language is often different than their romantic love language, as validation and appreciation at work can be different for different types of relationships. For instance, someone may crave physical touch with a partner but value acts of service at work. To identify workplace love languages, ask these questions:

   • What makes me feel the most appreciated by my boss at work?
   • What gestures from colleagues mean the most to me?
   • When do I feel the least valued at work?
   • How do I show that I’m thankful for and communicate with my team?
   • What type of feedback do I value most?

Section 3 of 4:

How can love languages impact your work?

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1. 
   Love languages impact how your mood, fulfillment, and work relationships. Determining what you want and need from others can help you feel validated, supported, and heard in the workplace. While you aren’t participating in “love” at work, having an understanding of how you best communicate and interact with other people can help you thrive professionally and make the most out of your career.

   • That's why it's always wise to try to subtly communicate your language to your boss and colleagues: "Wow, I love when you compliment me! It makes me feel like I'm doing a good job."
   • For employers out there, love languages can be a great way to keep your employees feeling satisfied at work. Why not try to casually ask about their preferences? Here's an easy way to do it: "I'm just checking in: what's your favorite way to be celebrated for a job well done?"
   • For instance, if you know your love language is words of affirmation, getting positive feedback throughout the workday can encourage you to complete a task.
   • Keep in mind that many people have more than 1 love language. You may value acts of service while also appreciating gifts and quality time.
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Section 4 of 4:

What are love languages?

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1. 
   Love languages help identify what you want and need in a relationship. Also known as languages of appreciation, love languages are typically used to help romantic partners express and receive love. However, these languages can also help you understand yourself in all types of relationships, including professional ones.

   • There are 5 types of love languages:
     • Words of Affirmation: Cherishing supportive words from others.
     • Acts of Service: Valuing helpful offers and tasks.
     • Quality Time: Spending meaningful time with others.
     • Receiving Gifts: Appreciating tangible gifts that say, “I’m thinking of you.”
     • Physical Touch: Being physically close and/or intimate with people.
   • Not sure what your love language is? Take wikiHow’s “Love Language Quiz” to find out!

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Tips

• If you’re a boss or manager, ask your employees how they like to receive feedback. While it may be inappropriate to ask what their love language is directly, it’s perfectly acceptable to inquire about what communication practices they respond well to.
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