How to Make Someone Feel Loved with Your Actions

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When it comes to love, the things we do often far outweigh anything we could say

Co-authored by Connell Barrett and Ali Garbacz, B.A.

Last Updated: August 9, 2024 References

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Meaning

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In the Bible

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How to Show Love Through Your Actions

There are countless ways to express your love for someone, and saying “I love you” is only one of them. Showing your love through your actions is equally as meaningful, and it promotes the idea that love isn’t just a powerful emotion; it’s also something you physically do. We’re here to explain just exactly what the expression “Love is an action word” means, and we’ll even take a look at how it’s used in the Bible. Finally, we’ll teach you lots of ways to put your love for someone into action.

Things You Should Know

The phrase “Love is an action word” means that a person’s love for others is best expressed through their actions and gestures rather than just by saying “I love you.”
The Bible promotes similar concepts throughout its various verses, such as in John 3:16, 1 John 3:18, and 1 Corinthians 16:14.
Give your partner, friend, or family member gifts, do things to help them, and spend quality time together to show them you love them.

Section 1 of 3:

“Love is an Action Word” Meaning

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“Love is an action word” means expressing love through your actions. Along with saying “I love you,” using your actions and gestures to show your love helps you to express these deep feelings of affection in a different way. Not only can you convey this love through your words, but you can also physically show your loved ones how much you adore them through things like acts of service, physical touch, and spending quality time together.^{[1]
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- Some might say that love is a decision that we make through our actions. Deciding to change to become a better person, to work on communicating, or to listen better are all actions that a person can take to show they love someone.
- Love has different meanings for each individual person. The best way to find out what makes a person feel loved is to ask them about it directly, such as “What can I do to make you feel loved?”^{[2]
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  Connell Barrett
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Section 2 of 3:

“Love is an Action Word” in the Bible

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The Bible has many verses that promote love as an action. This is perfectly captured in lines such as John 3:16, which says “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” It wasn’t through words that God showed his love for the world, but rather through His actions and sacrifices. Some other verses that emphasize this idea include:^{[3]
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- “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”—1 John 3:18
- “Let all that you do be done in love.”—1 Corinthians 16:14
- “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”—1 Corinthians 13:4-8
  - This is a popular passage to read during Christian weddings.

Section 3 of 3:

How to Show Love Through Your Actions

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Prioritize the things they like to do. Being selfless is a very significant gesture when it comes to showing someone how much you love them. Forgoing your own wants so that your partner, friend, or family member can be happy shows that spending quality time together is more important to you than the actual activity. Some examples include:^{[4]
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- Watching their favorite movie even if it’s no longer that interesting to you
- Eating to a restaurant that serves food they absolutely love but you’re not really a fan of
- Going on a shopping spree with them even when you don’t really like shopping
- Treat every day like a new opportunity to remind the other person how much you love them. Even as time passes, continue to treat this love just like you did at the very beginning of your relationship.
- Prioritizing the other person doesn’t mean you should neglect your own wants and needs. Work together to find a good balance.
EXPERT TIP

Lauren Urban, LCSW
Licensed Psychotherapist
Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist and the owner of Psychobabble Therapy based in Brooklyn, New York. With over 16 years of therapy experience, Lauren has worked with children, families, couples, and individuals, providing an anti-oppressive, identity-affirming space. Lauren is also a certified hypnotherapist at Moon & Key Hypnosis and the co-founder of Get Right Wellness Collective. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.

Lauren Urban, LCSW
Licensed Psychotherapist

Take some time to learn how your partner likes to receive love. Your natural way of showing affection might not always match their needs. Find a happy balance that feels good for both of you and respects your comfort level.
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Find different words to convey how much you love someone. Saying “I love you” isn’t the only way to express your adoration and affection for another person. When you say you love someone, you’re saying that you believe in them, you trust them, and you value them for who they are. Offering them encouragement and compliments is another way to show that you love them.^{[5]
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Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} Some things you might say include:^{[6]
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- “I trust you completely.”
- “You are one of the best things to have ever happened to me.”
- “You’ve worked so hard and deserve only the best.”
- “Thank you for always being there for me. I appreciate you so much.”
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Help someone with tasks and take the burden off their shoulders. As the old saying goes: actions speak louder than words. Doing things like running errands for your partner or doing chores around the house for your parents are all ways to tell someone you love them without actually saying the words. Showing your gratitude through these acts of service is one way to express your love. Other acts of service include:^{[7]
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- Making a meal for your partner who usually does the cooking
- Helping your siblings with their homework
- Volunteering out in your community
- Offering to listen to a friend and give them advice during a hard time
- Doing manual labor for an elderly neighbor or relative
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Give someone a gift to remind them how much they mean to you. When you give a gift to someone you love, it doesn’t have to be anything grandiose or expensive. In fact, sometimes the smallest gifts have the biggest meaning. Picking your partner up their favorite snack after a long day of work or giving your friend a photo album of all your memories are examples of gifts that are simple, yet incredibly meaningful. Some people feel most loved when they receive a gift that shows someone truly cares about them. Here are some other gift ideas:^{[8]
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- Takeout from their favorite restaurant
- A bouquet of flowers
- A personalized playlist or CD with all their favorite songs
- A framed photo of you and them together
- Tickets to a local museum, art exhibition, zoo, or aquarium
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Spend quality time with the person you love. Sometimes the best thing you can do to show someone you love them is to give them your undivided attention and time. Quality time looks different for every person, but the important thing is that you and the person you love are together, and you’re only focussing on each other. Some things that might qualify as quality time to you include:^{[9]
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- Making dinner together and spending the night watching a movie
- Running errands together
- Taking a walk and getting out in nature
- Going to your favorite restaurant or cafe
- Playing a game together
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Use physical touch to show them affection and love. Sometimes holding someone’s hand, cuddling with them, or giving them a hug or kiss conveys more than words ever could. If physical touch is something you and the other person are comfortable with and comforted by, use it more often to convey your feelings of love for them. Here are some examples:^{[10]
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- Give them a nice massage after a long day.
- Cuddle up together on the couch to watch a movie on a Friday night.
- Hold hands when you’re out and about.
- Love is different from sexual desire. Sexual desire is driven by a person’s biology while love is a deep-rooted emotion as well as a choice. While being sexually intimate with your partner can certainly strengthen your relationship, sex shouldn’t be mistaken for love.^{[11]
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Make an effort to improve yourself and your relationship. Loving someone means that you’re willing to work through tough times so that your love will always come out on top. Being proactive and making an effort to be the best possible version of yourself in your relationship will show the other person just how committed to them you are.^{[12]
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- If you’re in a romantic relationship, sit down with your partner and have a conversation about what you both can do to keep your relationship strong and healthy.
- Work on improving your communication skills in your relationship to make sure you and the other person are always on the same page.
- Taking care of yourself shows the other person that you love them and want to be your best self around them.
A big part of learning how to express the love you feel for someone else is coming to accept the love they’re giving you. Opening yourself up to another person’s love can help you relax within your relationship. Also, seeing how another person chooses to express their love might inspire you and help you figure out how you can do the same.^{[13]
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