How to Identify Difference Between True Lover and Fake Lover

Co-authored by Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST

Last Updated: March 24, 2023

A true lover is one who loves you unconditionally, cares about you, helps you through thick and thin, treats you as their family, and no matter what happens to your looks, financial status and life, they will always be beside you holding your hand. Read on to find out how to tell if your lover is true.

Steps

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If you have doubts about your relationship, airing them in a calm and mature conversation is the best way to make sure both of you are on the same page.
True love is unconditional and defined by trust and faith throughout the relationship.

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Sometimes money drives people to act like they love you when they don't really. Make sure that your lover loves you and makes you feel special even if you're financially poor.
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Think about how much you talk to your lover. What happens when you don't talk to them? Do they get angry or frustrated, or do they not react?
- Note that talking every day is not mandatory - you can have a true and healthy relationship even if you don't talk every day.
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Think about your physical relationship. A good physical relationship is important but not mandatory. It is also normal for partners to have different levels of desire.^{[1]
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Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST
Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Interview}
- If your lover wants you to get intimate, it might be lust rather than true love.
- If you say no to getting physical and there is no change in your lover's behavior, then that might be a sign of true love.
- If you have issues with physical intimacy, having conversations with people you trust about their experiences can help.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST
  Licensed Professional Counselor
  
  Expert Interview}
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Think about the influence of family. If your lover is ready to introduce you to their family, then they might be really serious about you. And if they get angry when you ask them to talk to their family about you, it might be a sign of danger.
- Remember that different people have different relationships with their families, and there could be a legitimate reason if your lover is hesitant about introducing you to their family.
Absolute respect given to each other is a great sign of true love and a healthy relationship.

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Tips

Remember that everyone and every relationship is different and none of these steps are absolute. Talking to your lover is the best way to figure out for sure where you both stand on this question.

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