What He Really Means When He Says “I Appreciate You”

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Learn exactly what he's trying to say (and how to respond)

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta and Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: October 2, 2025 Fact Checked

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• Meanings
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• How to Respond
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• Appreciation vs. Love
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• Final Thoughts
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• Video
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• Expert Interview

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“I appreciate you” is always a nice thing to hear—but it’s not always clear what a guy means when he says it. Does he like you as more than a friend? Is he just showing he cares for you in a platonic way? There are a lot of factors to consider, such as the context of the conversation, your relationship with him, and how he behaves around other people. Keep reading to figure out what this compliment really means so you’ll know exactly how to respond, with useful insights from dating coach and matchmaker Laura Bilotta and licensed relationship therapist Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT.

“I Appreciate You” Meaning From a Guy

According to dating coach & matchmaker Laura Bilotta, context matters when figuring out what a guy means when he says "I appreciate you." If you helped him with something important at work, he could genuinely be expressing gratitude. If he says it playfully, paired with flirtatious body language, he could be interested in you.

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Section 1 of 4:

Possible Meanings

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1. 
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   He’s grateful for your help. If you've recently done something kind for him, "I appreciate you" is a natural way for him to show he's thankful. Whether you taught him a new skill or helped him with an assignment, sharing appreciation for someone is one of the most genuine ways to say “thank you.” He wants to let you know he appreciates your support and doesn’t take you for granted. Bilotta explains, “If you were discussing something important to him, such as a project or a personal goal, he may genuinely be expressing gratitude for your help or support.” In that case, for example, he probably wasn’t flirting.

   • Have you recently performed a favor for him or helped him out with a task? Or maybe you’re always there for him when he needs to talk about important things. His “I appreciate you” might be his way of acknowledging that!

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Laura Bilotta is a dating coach and matchmaker with over 21 years of experience.

   Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT is a licensed relationship therapist specializing in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration.
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   He recognizes your value. Saying “I appreciate you” is a simple but effective way to show someone you see them and value them for who they are. Whether he’s a coworker, a friend, or a family member, he may just want to highlight how much value you add to his life or show you that he admires you. Go you!

   • Did he say this after you did something noteworthy, difficult, or brave, like perform in a play or go through a challenging experience? He may be trying to tell you you inspire him.
   • If he followed up his “I appreciate you” by mentioning a specific attribute or skill you have that he admires, he could just be trying to indicate that he sees you and thinks you are special.
   • 88% of people report recognition as the number-one thing they associate with feeling appreciated. Maybe you’re one of them!
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   He noticed you’re having a rough day and wants to cheer you up. It’s hard to hide our emotions sometimes, especially around people who know us and care about us. He may have noticed you aren’t as energetic or talkative as usual, and he wants to let you know he sees you and share some kind words to brighten your day.

   • If you are having a hard day, you will likely show it by appearing glum or maybe even crying. If he says he appreciates you on a day you don’t feel very happy, he might be trying to lift your spirits.
   • Did he follow up his comment with something encouraging, like “Chin up,” or a show of support, like “I’m here if you need anything”?
   • He could also be saying it to boost his mood. Studies show that expressing gratitude can make you happier—it improves your physical health and self-esteem, and it’s a known tool to strengthen relationships. Win-win!
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   He likes you as more than a friend—and is too shy to say so. While it’s good to show appreciation for people you care about, platonic or romantic, “I appreciate you” could be a sign he’s looking to be more than pals. To know for sure, study his body language when and after he says it. Does he look flustered? Is he having trouble looking you in the eye? This may be a sign that he’s nervous around you, and you might have to make the first move.

   • Bilotta confirms this: “If he says ‘I really appreciate you’ while making prolonged eye contact, leaning in closer to you, or touching your arm or hand, he may be flirting.” She adds that a “playful tone of voice” is another sign that he’s into you.
   • Does he often try to get you alone or engage you in deep conversation? Does he seek you out in group situations? He may be interested in taking your relationship to the next level.
   • Mirroring is another sign of romantic interest: does your guy’s body language match yours when he talks to you? It’s a subconscious indicator of admiration.
   • If you’re interested in him, take some small risks to determine if he likes you. Smile at him across the room and give him some eye contact to see if he returns it.
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   He’s physically attracted to you. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to pursue you romantically, but it could suggest that he’s open to hooking up with you. While some guys might say “I appreciate you” because they like you and are too shy to be more direct, some guys might say “I appreciate you” because they want to get you alone… and undressed. If your guy says he appreciates you while undressing you with his eyes, there’s a good chance he means he appreciates your body, specifically. Bilotta believes that “in this context, ‘I really appreciate you’ could be a way of expressing admiration or attraction.”

   • Does he touch you frequently? His touches probably won’t be overtly sexual, but if he’s attracted to you, he’ll likely go out of his way to touch you—for example, by brushing elbows, tapping you on the shoulder, or tickling you.
   • Jeney says that “the intentional locking of eyes and holding it for a few seconds at a time— that sends a signal that you're interested in somebody.”
   • If he always looks like he’s put effort into his appearance, he might be trying to show off for you.
   • Does he often tease you or engage you in flirtatious banter? If he flirts with you a lot, you can be sure “I appreciate you” holds some sexual connotations.
6. 
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   He’s just using the expression as an empty catchphrase. Just as context can help you decode whether he’s romantically interested in you or not, it can also help you understand if his “I appreciate you” is a form of feigned recognition. Many people use inauthentic compliments to satisfy their own hidden agendas, whether that be to sweet-talk others into getting what they want, avoid responsibility, or to get away with bad behavior. If you suspect that’s what he’s doing, take his compliment with a grain of salt.

   • “I appreciate you” is a nice compliment, but do his actions align with the sentiment? If he regularly asks you for favors or mistreats you, “I appreciate you” might actually just mean “I appreciate that you let me get away with things.”
   • Does he flatter a lot of people—especially girls? If so, he might be using flattery to score points with you and get you on his “hook.”
   • Does he compliment you when you’re focused on something else (or someone else)? If he says he appreciates you seemingly out of the blue, it could be a sign that he wants to get your attention for himself.
   • Don’t assume his “I appreciate you” is hollow, but if he seems insincerely complimentary toward a lot of people, take his comment at face value and go about your day.
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   He's preparing to give you a present. Most gifts aren’t given without a little preamble, whether in the form of a greeting card or a verbal acknowledgment of appreciation. If your guy followed up “I appreciate you” by giving you a present, he might have been following standard gift-giving etiquette.

   • If it’s your birthday or another gift-giving occasion, “I appreciate you” might be his way of contextualizing his present for you, especially if he’s written it on a card.
   • He may just be giving you a present for no reason other than that, well, he appreciates you, and he wants to show it!
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Section 2 of 4:

How to Respond

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1. 
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   If you're not sure how to respond, just say, “Thanks.” You could analyze his comment to death and still not be sure what it really means, or maybe you just don't want to do all that detective work! Fortunately, a simple “thank you” pretty much covers all the bases. So don't overthink it: compliments are often more about the giver than the receiver, and when someone tells you they appreciate you, they are generally focused on how your actions affected them rather than on how you respond to their compliment. You can say something like:

   • “Thank you. That means a lot.”
   • “Aww, that’s very nice. I’m glad you feel that way.”
   • “Wow, I really needed that today. Thank you for taking the time to express that.”
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   Show you care about him with a compliment in return. Compliments shouldn’t be transactional, but if you appreciate him too, let him know it! Be authentic and specific, and don’t reply just to say something in return: consider why you are recognizing him and how he has impacted you.

   • “Thank you for all your support. I appreciate you too!”
   • “You’re a great listener. I am truly thankful for your time, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life!”
   • “You’re such a special person in my life, and it means the world that you think the same of me.”
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   Let him know you like him as more than a friend. If you suspect his “I appreciate you” is a sign of romantic affection, and you feel the same way, why not show it? If you feel confident and comfortable doing so, you can be overt and tell him directly how you feel about him, or be more low-key and suggest interest with a hug or a comment about how special he is to you.

   • If you’re not positive about the meaning of his intentions, aim for a reply that subtly indicates your interest: “Thanks. That means so much coming from you in particular.”
   • A more overt response might be, “I’m really glad I have you in my life! I feel so seen by you. In fact, I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me?”
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   If you think he likes you and you’re not interested, make it clear. If you believe his comment was indicative of romantic feelings for you, and you’re not interested, there are a number of subtle ways to make it apparent that you're not up for dating—gently, of course. You can allude to how important their friendship is to you, with an emphasis on the “friend” part. If you’re in a relationship already, subtly drop your partner’s name into the conversation. Or, if you feel the need to be more direct, be forthright, but let him down easy. Jeney says, "I think you can politely acknowledge [the compliment] to validate that you appreciate what they’re saying, but then you can also kind of redirect it by just saying you're just not interested.”

   • “That means so much! I’m so lucky to have a friend like you.”
   • “I really value our friendship. I hope you know I appreciate you as well.”
   • “Thanks so much for saying that. Brad always says I have the nicest friends!”
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   If he gives you a present, thank him for his generosity. If he says “I appreciate you” while giving you a gift, don’t read too much into the message. Just take it as a perfunctory (but not inauthentic!) explanation for the present he’s given you and show your gratitude.

   • If the gift was for your birthday, a simple thank you is enough, but if he just gave it to you out of the blue to show he cares for you, consider responding with a gift of your own, if you want.
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Section 3 of 4:

Does appreciation mean love?

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1. 
   Appreciation can mean love, but it doesn’t always. If your relationship is flirty or intimate, or if he’s hinted in other ways that he is interested in pursuing something romantic with you, “I appreciate you” could be code for “I love you.” He could just be too shy to say so! But if your relationship is otherwise platonic, or if he compliments everyone pretty freely, “I appreciate you” should probably just be taken at face value. It’s nice to be appreciated! However, according to Jeney, “If [he’s] asking you a lot about yourself or giving you a lot of attention and not other people,” it’s a good indicator that he wants to break out of the friend zone.

   • Context can help you identify if his intentions are romantic. Observe his body language around you: does he smile at you, maintain eye contact with you, and mirror your movements? These are subconscious signs of attraction.
   • ”I appreciate you” might mean he likes you if he tries to spend time with you a lot and tries to get you alone when you hang out in groups.
   • Sometimes, the best way to figure out his intent is to just ask him: “Hey, I was really touched by what you said! But I’m not positive why you said it. Could you offer some clarification?”

Section 4 of 4:

Final Thoughts

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1. What a guy means by “I appreciate you” truly depends on the context. The truth is, showing appreciation for someone is a relatively common way of expressing gratitude, whether that person is a coworker, friend, or family member. A guy might tell you this out of respect, platonic admiration, or romantic attraction, and determining his true intentions can be tricky. You should factor in your relationship with him, the setting, and the situation or event that caused him to pay you this compliment.

   • If he says this to you in the workplace after you’ve helped him with a project or job-related task, it’s safe to assume he means it from a professional standpoint.
   • If this is a friend or acquaintance telling you this in a private setting, like your house or a restaurant, it could suggest romantic interest.
   • Take note of his body language. If he’s touchy-feely, leaning in close, and gazing into your eyes as he says it— he’s probably into you. And now the ball is in your court!
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