How to Help Someone with Their Period

Co-authored by Cindy Basinski, MD

Last Updated: August 31, 2023

Periods can be uncomfortable and painful. If your friend, date, classmate, or coworker needs help during their period, you can make things a lot easier for them. In this article, we'll share a list of great ways you can help someone out during their period.

1

Offer them a spare pad or tampon.

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If you don't have any supplies, consider offering to go out and get some, such as by going to the nurse's station if at school or college, or popping to the store if at home or work.

2

Offer reassuring words if they feel down.

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Comment on positive things or compliment them. This will take their mind off feeling less down in the dumps. Most of all, be understanding.
- Don't make jokes about "that time of the month", "rags" or "PMS", etc. Joking about such things won't help them to feel reassured, and it may irritate or embarrass them.
- Do commiserate if you know how it feels to have a period. If you don't, then be sympathetic but not invasive.

3

Help them out if they feel unwell.

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You might accompany them to the sick room or to give them a back rub. Be careful about offering medications; in some cases it's illegal to do so.
- Ask them if they've had any water recently. If not, fetch them some quickly. Staying hydrated may help ease their queasiness and cramps.
- Offer to buy them some groceries or a ready-made meal. Or, better yet, make them a meal.
- Run errands for them on the days they feel worst. They'll be happy to do the same for you when you need it.
- Bring them a hot water bottle to soothe their cramps. Or, if appropriate, offer to massage their lower back.

4

Be discreet and kind if you need to point out stains.

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Gently take them aside and let them know. If you have a cleaning cloth, a spare pair of jeans or skirt, etc., you can offer those as well. After they're tidied up, you can give them the "all clear" if they ask you, otherwise just let it be.
- If you have any portable stain remover in your bag or desk drawer, give it to them to use.
- Don't make fun of stains and don't broadcast the fact that you've seen stains. It's impolite to make a big deal out of it and pointless too. Everyone has messy problems now and then.

5

Understand if they seem different emotionally.

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This can cause some people to feel blue or irritable or sad or even extremely anxious. Most of the time it is short-lived and blows over with a good rest, nutritious food and some tender loving care. Everyone has down days, so roll with it and be a nice and helpful person. Avoid criticizing them for how they are, as this will only make things worse for them.

6

Realize that your kindness will be appreciated.

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It's about treating someone kindly in acknowledging and caring about the state you find them in. Most people will return the favor whenever a favor has been done for them.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do I talk to my child about puberty?

Cindy Basinski, MD
Board-Certified Urogynecologist
Dr. Cindy Basinski is a Board-Certified Urogynecologist based in Newburgh, Indiana. She has been practicing both general and Urogynecologic surgery for over 24 years and specializes in minimally invasive surgical procedures. She is a Board Certified Subspecialist in Female Pelvic Medicine & Reconstructive Surgery from the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ABOG). She received her medical degree from the Indiana University School of Medicine.

Cindy Basinski, MD

Board-Certified Urogynecologist

Expert Answer

Be upfront about the changes that their bodies are going to have, like hair growth in both in the genital and armpit areas. It's also important that young girls are told that that they're going to start bleeding from their vaginas at some point in their lives, and that it's completely normal.

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Periods aren't dirty but attitudes toward them can be.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Cindy Basinski, MD
Board-Certified Urogynecologist

Expert Interview} Rise above the temptation to be rude or disrespectful about people experiencing their period. The period plays a vital role in reproducing more humans, so remind yourself of its proper function and be grateful.

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If the person in question suffers from debilitating periods often, offer to accompany them to talk to the doctor. They may or may not appreciate this offer of help but it might be all they need to feel secure talking about it and seeking much-needed help.

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Be understanding if they decline to go out somewhere due to feeling unwell during their period. The cramps can do that to a person. Whether it's a work meeting, a social event or even a date, try to reschedule to a better time or make alternative arrangements.

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