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My friend is trying to get the attention of my crush and wants my crush to like her

WikiCapybaraWalker712
WikiCapybaraWalker712
06/05/25 7:21pm
So... I developed a crush on this person from my class. Let's give him the name, Rob. I told my best friend about it and she was my classmate too. Let's call her Emma. So... Emma never really used to bother about Rob. Like, even though he was a classmate, she never waved at or even looked at him. It was like his existence was not a big deal for her. It all changed when I told her I had a crush on Rob. She initially teased me saying that he looks ugly and I can do much better. And, things slowly started to change. She would start noticing him as I have on him. But, it was not simply noticing his presence. She started to want his attention and would try her best to get his attention from him even when I was with her. She slowly started to wave at him. She would come and tell me that he had accidentally hit her while walking in the corridor. She manipulated me into believing that he had a crush on my friend. She used to say that he had feelings for her. She was aware that I really liked him and still did it. Once, he touched my hands, and when I told her about it she told me," he touched my hands to". Every time she says that my crush and I had eye contact. This all started the moment I told her I had a crush on this person. She once told me that there would be competition between us because of him. I can't communicate this to her because she will blame me and say that it's all in my mind. Is she a true friend or a fake friend?
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wikiHow Expert
Desiree Panlilio
Desiree Panlilio
Teen Life Coach
09/22/25 5:24pm
The question you have to answer is, is she your friend? How do you define what a friend is? What do you expect from a friend? Why is she your friend? Answering those questions will help you determine if she is a good friend or bad friend. I did write a book on teen friendship, which could be great to take a look at for situations like this. You can take a look here if you're interested!
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wikiHow Editorial Team
wikiHow Editorial Team
06/05/25 9:15pm
This sounds like a frustrating situation! We can’t say for sure whether your friend is “fake” or not, but it sounds as though she doesn’t always respect your feelings or boundaries, which isn't a great sign. Friends sometimes develop crushes on the same person, but it seems as if she’s intentionally put herself in competition with you. It’s possible she’s worried about how you dating someone will affect your friendship, and wants to come in between you and Rob—or she may even believe (probably subconsciously) that not being able to “steal” him is a measure of her self-worth.

She may not be aware that she’s not being a good friend to you right now, so it might be worth saying, “Hey, it feels to me as if you’re going after Rob only because I told you I liked him, and it’s left me feeling uneasy, like we’re competing. I don’t want a guy to come between us, but is there something else going on here?” If she genuinely has a crush on him, try talking through how the two of you will handle liking the same guy and how you'll navigate your friendship going forward. Good luck—you got this!
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