How long will it take to get over my breakup?
My girlfriend and I broke up 2 months ago, and it still feels like it just happened yesterday. I can't believe she's gone. I don't know what to do anymore. Anyone who has gone through a breakup like this, how long did it take you to get over it? What did you do to move on? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.
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Research shows that the feelings of pain of a romantic rejection usually fade over about six months to two years. It makes sense: studies show that recently broken-up singles show activity in the same part of the brain as a drug user fiending for a fix. The brain is literally in withdrawal. And people with an anxious attachment style often take breakups harder than those with a secure or avoidant attachment style.
To move on from a breakup means to process the emotions of the relationship in a healthy way. Processing is very different from suppressing, distracting, or avoiding your emotions. Processing means allowing yourself to feel your emotions, allowing time for healing, and then reflecting on the lessons you can learn to grow from the experience. Know the difference between processing and wallowing. The former means you feel the emotions and use self-care, self-compassion, and support to return to equilibrium. It means knowing you have agency over your destiny and that even though it's painful and uncomfortable, you will get back up. Wallowing is when you see the situation through the lens of a victim and that you are helpless in your circumstance. When you are stuck in victimization, you are not processing, you're prolonging your suffering.
You'll know that you've 'moved on' when you no longer feel an emotional charge towards your ex or the breakup, and when you've accepted reality as is.
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To move on from a breakup means to process the emotions of the relationship in a healthy way. Processing is very different from suppressing, distracting, or avoiding your emotions. Processing means allowing yourself to feel your emotions, allowing time for healing, and then reflecting on the lessons you can learn to grow from the experience. Know the difference between processing and wallowing. The former means you feel the emotions and use self-care, self-compassion, and support to return to equilibrium. It means knowing you have agency over your destiny and that even though it's painful and uncomfortable, you will get back up. Wallowing is when you see the situation through the lens of a victim and that you are helpless in your circumstance. When you are stuck in victimization, you are not processing, you're prolonging your suffering.
You'll know that you've 'moved on' when you no longer feel an emotional charge towards your ex or the breakup, and when you've accepted reality as is.
Break ups suck. I also broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago and I was in a lot of pain. At first, I let myself wallow when I missed him because I wanted myself to feel and process the emotions. I think it was helpful to let that all out. Now when I miss him, I remind myself why the two of us didn't work out and reassure myself that letting go of him was the only way I could open myself up to having a relationship where all my needs are met. I know it hurts now but I trust that one day I will get to experience that fulfilling love.
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It can be tempting to jump into a new relationship before you're ready. That's what I did after I broke up with my boyfriend and I thought that helped me get over him quickly. But no I was just suppressing my feelings and covering them up with the new relationship. Now that relationship has ended and I'm trying to get over that one AND my first one. It's been almost a year and I still feel like a mess. But I think staying off dating apps has helped.
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The no-contact rule helped me get over my ex in just a couple months. He was toxic so I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I stopped talking to him, blocked him on everything, and got rid of all his stuff. That way, I didn't get any reminders of him during my healing process. Even if you and your girlfriend parted on friendly terms, taking a break from her could help you move on.
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I'm not sure how long you and your girlfriend were dating, but I was dating my girlfriend for a year after we broke up 5 months ago. I'm feeling a lot better but I'm still not completely over it. I think it's totally understandable for it to take time for the pain of the breakup to fade away, especially if you were dating for a long time.
What helped me was having support system. I have some close friends that I was able to talk to, and they were so helpful in helping me process my feelings and move forward. They listened to me and also encouraged me to take care of myself and grow. I dedicated time to exercising, hobbies, platonic socializing, and reflection to help myself get over my breakup. Good luck!
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What helped me was having support system. I have some close friends that I was able to talk to, and they were so helpful in helping me process my feelings and move forward. They listened to me and also encouraged me to take care of myself and grow. I dedicated time to exercising, hobbies, platonic socializing, and reflection to help myself get over my breakup. Good luck!
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