How to Avoid Curious Stares

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Reviewed by Seth Hall

Last Updated: March 31, 2025

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Presenting Yourself Carefully

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Disregarding Attention

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Confronting Stares Directly

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Q&A

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Tips

Most people want to go about their day without attracting too much attention. Being stared at can break your concentration and make you feel afraid. This may not be the intent of the stare; nonetheless, this can be the effect. Thankfully, careful presentation, calculated apathy, and direct confrontation are methods you can use to avoid curious stares.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Presenting Yourself Carefully

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1
Avoid colorful clothing. Don't put on clothing that is bright and flashy. This will encourage people to look at you. The same goes for colorful hats or accessories. The more you seem like you want to be noticed, the more people will try to notice you. This does not mean that you must look boring. Simple clothing can be stylish!
- This goes for makeup as well. Bold, brash colors can be replaced with duller tones.
Try not to wear anything that seems to flout the chosen mores of your society. For example, don't show too much skin if you live in a strict, religious place. You need to figure out what is correct for the situation that you are in. For example, if you go to a nude beach, you will be stared at if you wear clothing.

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3
Behave normally. Don't draw attention to yourself. Certain conduct is going to always make people curious. For example, if you sing loudly in public, people will look at you. Therefore, don't act in a way that makes you stand out.
- Again, what is normal will be defined by the situation you find yourself in. So, if you are standing still in the middle of a loud concert, you can expect that people may look at you in an odd way.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Disregarding Attention

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1
Focus on an activity. If you have a book, then read it. This is one way you can deflect attention from yourself. Put in your headphones, if you have them, and listen to your music. If you're at the gym, you should focus on the exercise that you are doing. At some point, the person who is staring will get bored of looking at you.
- By doing this, you will also be able to distract yourself and feel less tense about your predicament.
- You can pretend that you are reading, listening to music, or examining your fingernails. You just need to give the impression that you are busy.
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Research source} If you're chatting with a friend, and someone is staring at you, just continue your conversation. You don't want to let a creepy stranger's actions affect your behavior. By dismissing them completely, you are showing them that they cannot bother you.
Yawn. Gaze into the distance. Try to show that you are completely unfazed by this continued observation. You can even try closing your eyes and pretending that you are asleep. If this is too frightening for you, you can try blinking in a manner that suggests that you are about to go to sleep.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Confronting Stares Directly

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1
Stare back. Look them in the eyes. Focus your attention on the person's face. Concentrate on making intense eye contact. This will likely make the person who is staring at you feel very uncomfortable. Remember, they don't think that you know that they are staring. Once you are looking them in the eye, they'll begin to recognize that what they are doing is extremely rude.^{[2]
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Research source}
- Maintain your gaze. Don't waver! You might feel tense after doing this for a while, but be persistent. You should not break eye contact at any point. Do this long enough to let it sink in that you are not okay with being stared at.
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Inform others. Say "Stop staring at me!" Yell this as loudly as possible. This action shows that you are trying to get help. You are also making sure the person who is staring at you and the witnesses understand that you want them to stop. ^{[3]
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- As the situation becomes more serious, you might want to speak with an authority figure. For example, if you are on the train, you should speak to the conductor.
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Speak to them directly. Talk to the person who is staring at you. For example, you can simply greet them. Their surprise at being noticed might make them turn away immediately. Perhaps if a child is staring at you, you can try smiling at them. If that doesn't work, you can talk to their parents. In any case, you can ask a person who stares at you questions like:
- Is there any reason you're staring at me?
- Is there something wrong with my face?

Community Q&A

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Question

What can I do about someone who follows me around and mimics everything I do despite being told to stop?

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Ignore them, that is often the best way to get rid of annoying people. If it gets serious or threatening, tell an authority figure.

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What if someone stares at my bottom?

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Tell them to stop. Say, "You're staring at my bottom and it's making me very uncomfortable, please stop" or something similar. If they don't stop, leave the area or let an authority figure (parent, teacher, etc.) know what's going on.

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How can I restrain myself from looking at someone?

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Focus on something else. There's nothing wrong with glancing at someone, but staring is rude. Look at cute animal pictures on your phone or look out the window.

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Tips

Avoid public transportation.The bus and metro are both places where inadvertent eye contact is quite probable. So, to escape this, try to use a different form of transport.

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Do whatever makes you feel the least uncomfortable.

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Ask for help if you need it. You don't have to confront this person alone.

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