What Should You Do if a Guy Rejects You but Wants to Be Friends

Co-authored by Nicole Moore and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: May 2, 2024 References

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Getting rejected by a friend can sting, especially if you two were pretty close. It can feel pretty confusing when he says he doesn’t like you but still wants to be friends. Separating your romantic feelings and your platonic feelings can be tough at first, but you can do it!

Here are 10 tips to help you navigate your friendship with a guy after he’s rejected you.

1

Take time to work through your emotions.

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You might feel angry or hurt after being rejected, and that’s okay. Let yourself feel your emotions, and be sad if you need to be. Don’t try to mask what you’re feeling or get over it too quickly, as that could cause you more pain in the long run.^{[1]
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- If you need to take a break from the friendship, that’s okay too.
- There’s no timeline for how long it might take you to get over being rejected. Just let yourself feel what you need to feel for however long it takes.
- If you feel the pain is too intense, cry to get it off your chest.
- Have less contact with them than before.^{[2]
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- Stop looking at their social media accounts for some time.^{[4]
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- Focus on other activities and yourself. Get back to doing things you like and learn how to be only a friend again to this person.^{[6]
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2

Try not to take the rejection personally.

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He didn’t reject you because he thinks you’re a bad person. Don’t take his rejection as an attack on you—instead, remind yourself that you two just aren’t right for each other. If he still wants to be friends, you’re obviously doing something right!^{[8]
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- Focusing on rejection can be really painful. Whenever you start thinking about it, gently remind yourself that you didn't do anything wrong.

3

Wait until he reaches out before hanging out again.

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That way you’ll know he’s serious about being friends. After you confess your feelings, give him 2 or 3 days to chill and work through his own emotions. Once he’s ready, he’ll text or call you to hang out again.^{[9]
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- Sometimes guys say that they want to be friends so they don’t hurt your feelings. If he’s serious about keeping a friendship going, he’ll reach out to you.

4

Ease back in with group hangouts.

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Hanging out one-on-one might be pretty awkward at first. When you two hang out again for the first time, get a few other friends to be there with you. It will help ease the tension and allow you to interact in a neutral setting.^{[10]
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- You can tell your friends about what happened or you can keep it to yourself. If you're worried your friends might gossip, keep your feelings between the two of you.

5

Remind yourself that feeling awkward is normal.

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It's probably going to be a bit awkward at first no matter what. You both might feel a bit shy or embarrassed, and that’s okay! Try to accept that so you can move past it as fast as possible. Things will probably fall back into place pretty quickly!^{[11]
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6

Focus on your friendship and the future.

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You don’t need to bring up the rejection or your feelings. If you need to talk about what happened before diving back into the friendship, that’s fine, but do it early on and in private. Don’t bring it up when you’re casually hanging out since that will probably be pretty uncomfortable for both of you.^{[12]
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7

Reject his advances if he starts to flirt.

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He’s the one who rejected you, and flirting can be confusing. Some guys are flirtatious by nature, while others might be actually interested but afraid to commit. Either way, it’s best to leave flirtatious behavior behind, even if he initiates it first.^{[13]
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- Engaging in flirtatious behavior can give you mixed signals, and it might stop you from moving on.

8

Spend time with other friends.

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Focus on strengthening your other relationships. Hang out with friends, spend time with your family, and pour your energy into other people. It will help distract you from your feelings and let you move on faster.^{[14]
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- If you have anyone you’re close to, you could open up to them about what you’re going through.

9

Pursue someone else.

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It might sound crazy now, but it’s the best way to get over someone. Put yourself out there and try dating other guys. You don’t have to get into a serious relationship—just try going out for coffee or hanging out at the park with someone new. The more you can focus your attention on someone else, the less you’ll feel for the guy who rejected you.^{[15]
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- Of course, you should never get into a relationship if you aren’t ready for one. It’s perfectly fine to stay single for a while and focus on yourself.

10

End the friendship if you can’t get over him.

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It’s a drastic step, but it might be best for both of you. If you’ve tried the whole friendship thing and you still have strong feelings for him, remaining friends will only hurt you. You can distance yourself slowly or let him know outright that it’s just too painful to stay friends.^{[16]
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- You could say something like, “I know we said we wanted to stay friends, but I still have feelings for you. I need to take some time for myself so I can move on.”
- Keep the possibility of friendship open. You might be able to reconnect in the future when you no longer have feelings for him.

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Tips

Be gentle with yourself and focus on self-care as you ease back into the friendship.

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Getting rejected might hurt right now, but time is the best medicine.

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Warnings

Never think of making slanderous remarks like "He rejects me, I'm sure he doesn't like women, he's a gay man". This may make you feel very insulted and ruin any chance that you'll still be friends, and you may also be a gossip, so you'll lose friends to such an extent that you may be alone, with no friends.

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