Families can be confusing, overwhelming, and, sometimes, even toxic or abusive.
It can be hard to tell what’s a “normal” family dynamic and what dynamics may be unhealthy, but by answering the questions in this quiz, you may be able to get an idea of whether your family environment was or is dysfunctional—and where to go from there. Click “Start Quiz” to begin.
Questions Overview
When I was growing up, my parents created a lot of drama at home.
- Very accurate
- Pretty accurate
- Not very accurate
- Not at all accurate
When I was growing up, my parents never seemed to take responsibility for their toxic behavior.
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- Not at all accurate
When I was growing up, my parents were really disrespectful or critical towards me or other kids in my family.
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- Not at all accurate
When I was growing up, my parents always seemed resentful towards one another and the rest of the family.
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- Not at all accurate
Growing up, I (or someone else in my family) was made fun of, shamed, or humiliated when I was vulnerable and needed help or guidance.
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When I was growing up, my parents or caregivers ignored problems in their own lives or in the lives of their children, which only made the problems worse.
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Growing up, I often had unrealistic expectations forced on me, or I saw them forced on other kids in the household.
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Growing up, I (or another child) was often expected to be self-sufficient or take care of other children, when we should’ve been taken care of by our caregivers.
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When I was growing up, I (or another kid) was expected to be more emotionally responsible and reliant than my parents.
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When I was growing up, my parents or caregivers were involved in unstable or unpredictable relationships (for instance, they were involved in on-again-off-again relationships or their relationships were very dramatic).
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When I was growing up, my parents often responded poorly to upsetting events or situations—for example, if I got hurt, they would get angry instead of helping me.
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When I was growing up, my parents acted like the world was against them (for example, they seemed paranoid or they acted like everything they did was a sacrifice).
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When I was growing up, my parents lived through me or other children.
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When I was growing up, my parents were narcissistic or really self-obsessed.
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Looking back, I feel like there was abuse happening in my household—either to myself or to other people.
- Very accurate
- Pretty accurate
- Not very accurate
- Not at all accurate
More Quizzes
What are signs of a toxic family of origin?
Toxic families rely on cycles of abuse, criticism, and manipulation to thrive, and it’s very hard to break these cycles, though it’s definitely not impossible. Not sure if your family (or the family you grew up in) is toxic? Not all toxic families are toxic in the same ways, but if anyone in your family exhibits any of these traits, it’s likely they’re dysfunctional:
1. They gossip or criticize you. Whether the toxic family member is an adult or older sibling, they may gossip about you behind your back, leaving you feeling on edge any time you’re around them: what will they say about you once you leave? Will they talk about you to other people?
2. They pick on or exploit your weaknesses. Often, our family members are the people who know us the best—and are thus in the best position to prey on our weaknesses. A toxic family member may use what they know about you to exploit you or hit you where it hurts most.
3. They won’t allow you to change. Despite being overly critical of you, toxic family members also may express disappointment when you change or insist that you’re “not you” when you exhibit signs of personal growth and maturity, or when you simply try to be yourself.
4. There’s competition for attention within the family. Toxic caregivers may favor one “golden child” over the others, or they may single one child out as the “black sheep.” This may cause the children to feel competitive with one another.
5. Abusive behavior is tolerated or ignored. If a child experiences mistreatment by a sibling or adult, a toxic caregiver may pretend it isn’t happening or accuse the child of lying in order to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation or taking any responsibility for it. If they do acknowledge the mistreatment, they may insist that it’s “not that bad.”
6. The family environment is unpredictable or dramatic. Being home should feel peaceful and comforting—but a toxic family environment may feel volatile. You may feel as if you’re walking on eggshells around certain family members, uncertain if or when they’ll suddenly explode for no apparent reason.
Want to learn more?
For more information about toxic families, visit these resources:
Medical Disclaimer
Any medically related content, whether User Content or otherwise found on the Service, is not intended to be medical advice or instructions for medical diagnosis or treatment, and no physician-patient or psychotherapist-patient relationship is, or is intended to be, created.
Reader Success Stories
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"I felt that it was helpful in allowing me to connect with my past self. Even if the results were not accurate, they felt somewhat helpful."..." more
