How to Support and Encourage Yourself

Co-authored by Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD

Last Updated: April 25, 2025 Approved

Many times people feel dissatisfied because they don't feel appreciated by others. That's understandable. Of course we all long to be valued by others. But if our happiness depends on the encouragement of others, we may at times find ourselves being needlessly discouraged. The solution is to encourage yourself! Here are some ways to do just that.

1

Be proud of yourself.

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Whether it is because of a small accomplishment or just life in general, you have to believe in yourself. If self esteem is an issue for you, try therapy or do some research on the subject. You can't encourage yourself if you don't like yourself.^{[1]
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- Try using positive affirmations or making a list of your positive qualities. If that doesn't sound like something that'll work for you, try spending time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
- Reader Poll: We asked 363 wikiHow readers, and only 10% prefer to reaffirm their self-worth by reflecting on their positive qualities and accomplishments. [Take Poll]

2

Try being your own best friend.

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Take 20-30 minutes to reflect on why you feel down or upset. Acknowledge and validate your own feelings, just like you'd empathize with a friend.^{[2]
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Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview} Say things like "I know it's hard but you can do it," or, "By this time tomorrow, it will be all done."^{[3]
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3

Keep a good sense of humor.

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^{[4]
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4

Spend some time on a hobby.^{[5]
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PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health

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5

Reach out to others who can encourage you.

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Connect with a friend, family member, or loved one to lift your spirits and get a boost in emotional support.^{[6]
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Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

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6

If you can get out some, then think about what encourages you.

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Many people find that doing things for others helps their own problems feel smaller, or at least it gets the problems off their mind for a little while.^{[8]
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7

Exercise.

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Walk outside or on your treadmill, ride a stationary bike, do yoga. You can choose the kind of class you'd feel most comfortable in, or you can practice yoga at home with music of your choice. The stretching and de-stressing techniques are excellent. Or you can jog, or belly dance, or whatever feels wonderful to your body. Just 15, 30, or 45 minutes a day will help your metabolism, which in turn helps your mood.^{[9]
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- Take a look at what activities you've been engaging in. Are you spending the majority of your time doing things that are draining you? Do you need to give yourself more time to take a break and unwind and relax? Go do something exciting and fun to lift your spirits.^{[10]
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8

Eat good food.

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^{[11]
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9

Play music.

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You can keep a radio or stereo on so that you can hear it in the background wherever you are.^{[12]
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Tips

Remember the past. Sometimes it is important to forget and let go of the past, but other times it's important to remember the past. For instance, if you are in the middle of a tough time with a friend, remember all of the good times you've had with that friend in the past. When remembering the past, sometimes it is great fun to think way back, even to childhood, about fun, interesting, and exciting experiences. Often this makes me laugh, and it also helps me to see how rich and wonderful my life has been -- and no doubt will continue to be.^{[13]
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List your worries. This may seem like a strange way to be encouraged, and you'll admit that initially listing your worries sometimes causes you stress! However, listing your worries is often the first step in dealing with the issues at hand, and as you deal with them, you'll be encouraged. Also, as you list your worries -- especially if you write in a journal about them -- You often see that they are not as big and scary as you thought. Often, when you journal about your concerns or the things you are frustrated about, you'll find that you are blowing things out of proportion and that the situation isn't nearly as bad as you initially thought. That's encouraging!^{[14]
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None of this has to take a long time, but it's important to plan things for yourself as part of your daily routine. Again, small things count!^{[15]
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