How to Subtly Flirt with a Guy Online

Co-authored by Shana Tibi and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: June 7, 2024 References

Flirting takes confidence, but don't worry if you're afraid to put yourself out there! You don't have to be bold to let a guy know you're into him. In fact, there are a lot of subtle things you can do to signal your interest and show that you're paying attention to him. Check out our list of suggestions for some great online flirting tips.

1

Like his posts.

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Let the guy know you're paying attention to his social media. If you just like 1 of his photos, he probably won't read into it. However, if you like most of his recent posts, he'll probably get the idea that you're into him.^{[1]
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- If you go back and like his really old posts, it'll be pretty obvious that you're into him—liking recent content is more subtle.
- This applies to any social media platform he's on. See if he's on Snapchat, Tik Tok, Facebook, etc., and like his content there.

2

Make the first move.

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Don't wait around for him to chat! Guys can be notoriously oblivious when it comes to flirting. Don't be afraid to make the first move yourself and start flirting with him!^{[2]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview} Send him a DM on social media or text him to get the ball rolling. A DM is a great way to signal your interest since it's completely private. You're basically making a personal online space for just the two of you.^{[3]
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- He might be pleasantly surprised to see you start an online conversation—this is a great way to show him you're interested.
- Reader Poll: We asked 341 wikiHow readers how they prefer to slide into a guy’s DMs, and 56% of them agreed that the most effective method is responding to his story with an emoji or quick reaction. [Take Poll] Try it out on Instagram!

3

Send a fun, playful message.

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Skip a boring greeting and ask a thoughtful, quirky question. Part of flirting is just trying to stand out, so don't message him and say something dull like, "Hey," or, "Hi." Catch his attention by pointing out something unique or asking him something silly.^{[4]
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- For instance, send him an extreme close-up photo and ask him what he thinks it is. This is a creative way to start a conversation. You could also message him something funny like, "I am so torn—ice cream or sushi for dinner?"
- Message him to say he's on your mind. You could say, "You'll never guess which song just came on the radio! Remember doing karaoke?"
- You can also suggest things. For instance, say, "I just finished the best book—you'd probably like it. Want to come borrow it?"

4

Include some cute emojis.

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Add an emoji or two to break up text and make it lighthearted.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview} Skip the obvious hearts and lips emojis and stick with more subtle ones—think a winking face, smirking face, or crazy face.^{[6]
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- For instance, if you've just teased him and want to lighten the mood so he doesn't take it seriously, add a winking face or a face blowing a kiss emoji.
- Keep in mind that emojis are pretty subjective, so your crush might not realize that you're flirting unless you also send some flirty texts along with it.

5

Tease him to show your playful side.

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Send messages with push-pull to show you're comfortable with him. A little teasing signals that you're fun, you don't take yourself too seriously, and that you want to play!^{[7]
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- For example, if you've asked whether he likes milk or dark chocolate and he says he doesn't like chocolate, say, "And there I had thought you were too good to be true. Oh well, we can work on that."

6

Ask for his opinion.

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This is a great way to signal that he's important to you. After all, you want to know what he thinks about something, right? You might say something like, "I've been trying to find some new music. Do you have any recommendations?" or "What did you think about that new restaurant?"^{[8]
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- If you're feeling confident and a little bold, you could ask his opinion and then suggest an activity together. For instance, after asking him about a restaurant say, "We should check it out sometime."

7

Single him out in a group conversation.

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If you're on a group chat with a crush, mention him by name. Bring attention back to him if the group's moving on and talking about something else. This shows him that you're paying attention to him and that you care what he thinks.^{[9]
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- For instance, if he asks if anybody's seen the latest hit movie, but the conversation skips over this, bring it back! Once there's a slight gap in conversation, say, "Jamal, what were you saying about that movie?"

8

Pay him a genuine compliment.

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Compliment him on his personality or something he does.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview} This is more meaningful than simply complimenting his looks. By keying in on who he is rather than just what he looks like, he'll realize that you're paying attention to him.^{[11]
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- For instance, say, "You're really easy to talk to, Patrick," or, "I love how you always know what's going on in the world."

9

Use his name or nickname when you interact.

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This creates a psychological connection. Most people can't help it—we like it when someone calls us by name! Whether you're messaging each other or you're just leaving a comment, make a point of using his name at least 1 or twice. If he has a nickname, use that since it suggests that you're comfortable and friendly with each other.^{[12]
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- You could say, "Rhys, what are you up to tomorrow?" or, "This is an amazing photo, Mateo."

10

Don't wait too long to respond.

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If he's messaged you, reply within a few hours. If you wait days to message him back, he might get the idea that you don't like him or simply aren't interested in him. To let him know that you do care, it's perfectly fine to reply within a few minutes or at least within a few hours.
- This is especially true if you're having an online conversation in real-time.

11

Avoid sexting or sending revealing photos.

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While these have a place in online dating, they're not very subtle. If you're trying to flirt with a shy guy, sexting or nude photos might make him feel pressured or uncomfortable. Until you're more comfortable with each other or openly flirting, skip the revealing messages.
- Plus, you should only send revealing texts or pics to people you completely trust. It's easy for that data to be shared or to get into the wrong hands and you don't want to compromise yourself.