What Is a Soul Sister? Meaning & How to Find Yours

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Everything you need to know about finding your platonic soulmate

Co-authored by Raven Minyard, BA Reviewed by Anyah Le Gilmore-Jones

Last Updated: November 13, 2024 Fact Checked

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• Soul Sister Meaning
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• Signs You’ve Found Your Soul Sister
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• How to Find Your Soul Sister
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• Video

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While the term “soul sister” originally referred to Black women, it has gained a new meaning in recent years. A soul sister is also a female friend with whom you feel a deep bond and have a lot of things in common, like a platonic soulmate. In this article, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about soul sisters, including what the term means, signs you’ve found your soul sister, and tips on how to find your soul sister if you haven’t.

What is a soul sister?

A soul sister is like a platonic, female soulmate—a friend you feel a deep and intense connection with and whose thoughts and attitudes closely align with your own. In the Black community, soul sister can be another term for a Black woman and is often used in greeting.

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Section 1 of 3:

Soul Sister Meaning

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   A soul sister is a kindred spirit or platonic soulmate. People may use the phrase to refer to a female friend they share a special bond with, and whose thoughts, feelings, and attitudes closely match theirs.

   • For example, if you and your best friend have an incredibly deep bond, you might say that she’s your soul sister.
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   In AAVE, soul sister means a Black woman. While soul sister has now taken on a more spiritual context, its original meaning still stands. The phrase is typically used by Black women to greet other Black women. The first known usage of the term was in 1959.

   • For example, if someone saw her Black friend, they might say, “There’s my soul sister.”
   • Because the term is widely used in AAVE (African-American Vernacular English), it may not be appropriate to call someone soul sister in this context if you are not Black yourself.
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Section 2 of 3:

Signs You’ve Found Your Soul Sister

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   You feel like you’ve known each other forever. In many cases, soul sisters feel an instant connection when they first meet. You may feel like you’ve met before and that you’re picking up right where you left off, even if you’ve never spoken to her before. The connection feels magnetic and effortless.
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   You don’t judge each other. When you find your soul sister, you know you can tell her anything, no matter how embarrassing it is. You feel completely comfortable around each other, and you’re not afraid to be vulnerable. Your soul sister will support you no matter what.
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   You respect and accept each other’s differences. While soul sisters often have a lot in common, you’re still your own person, and your soul sister respects that. You likely have similar morals and values, but you know when to agree to disagree. Even if you argue, there’s still a lot of love between you.
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   You defend and protect each other. Rest assured that your soul sister will shut down any gossip about you and she’ll never talk behind your back. You’re constantly ready to defend each other, even if it’s the two of you against the world. Together, you know you can tackle anything.
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   You have a ton of inside jokes. You and your soul sister likely have a similar sense of humor, and you’re constantly laughing when you’re together. You’ve been through all kinds of situations together and built many lasting memories and inside jokes that you’ll remember for a lifetime.
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   You support each other’s successes. Your success is their success. There’s no sign of rivalry or jealousy between you and your soul sister. You’re always ready to hype each other up and celebrate each other’s wins. You’ll know you found your soul sister when you bring out the best in each other.
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   You see a future with each other. When you find your soul sister, you’re in it for the long haul. You can’t imagine a life without her in it, and you fully expect to be friends forever. Even if you can’t be together physically, you’ll be there for each other in spirit and support each other through thick and thin.
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Section 3 of 3:

How to Find Your Soul Sister

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   Go out of your way to talk to people. It can be difficult to make friends as an adult, but it’s not impossible. Go to some of your favorite places (like a bookstore or a cafe) and strike up a conversation with someone who looks interesting. Odds are, if you frequent the same places, you already have something in common! Of course, not every connection will lead to a soul sister bond, but it’s a great way to meet new people and increase your chances of finding your platonic soulmate.

   • For example, if you like romance books and see someone browsing the romance section, recommend her some of your favorites!
   • Or, if you always see the same woman at the gym, see if she needs a workout buddy!
   • Consider taking new classes or workshops as well, like a cooking or yoga class.
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   Don’t be afraid to initiate plans. Asking someone on a friendship date can be just as intimidating as asking someone on a romantic date, but the payoff is usually worth it! If you’ve been chatting with a potential friend for a while, take the plunge and ask them to do something together, like get a cup of coffee or go shopping. This helps break any potential barriers and show them you actively want to be friends.

   • Remember, just because the other person doesn’t initiate plans doesn’t mean they don’t want to be your friend. They could just be shy!
   • If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay, too. At least you put yourself out there, and now you’ll feel more comfortable asking the next person!
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   Give yourself time to bond. You may feel an immediate connection with your soul sister, but all friendships take time to grow. Let the relationship develop naturally and take time getting to know each other. Allow yourself to explore multiple friendships and see who you connect with. Who knows—you may end up with a whole group of soul sisters!

   • Don’t stress if it seems like it’s taking a long time to find your soul sister. All relationships develop at their own pace. Know that you’ll find your people when the time is right.
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   Don’t try to force a friendship. Sometimes, friendships work on paper, but in reality, the chemistry just isn’t there. And that’s okay! While all relationships take work, a soul sister bond will feel almost effortless. You just get each other. Don’t try to force a connection that isn’t there, and remember, not every friend needs to be a soul sister!

   • If a friendship doesn’t work out, it doesn’t say anything bad about you. Sometimes, we just click with some people more than others, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
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