The Ultimate Guide to Talking to a Girl on Snapchat

Successfully Snap a girl with these expert-backed messages

Co-authored by John Keegan and Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD

Last Updated: September 24, 2025 Fact Checked

Sending a Snap to a girl you like can be just as nerve-racking as talking to her in person. But don't worry—we can help you figure out what to say, how to say it, and when to say it! Keep reading for some foolproof ways to start a conversation with a girl on Snapchat and keep it going by sending interesting, creative, and attention-grabbing Snaps. Plus, we’ve included some helpful insights from dating and relationship experts!

How do you start a conversation on Snap with a girl?

Start snapping her casually with random photos of your day, as with any friend. If she responds to your Snaps with her own photos or messages, reply and ask questions about what she’s shared with you. Continue to share stories, use filters to create funny faces and voices, and let the connection grow naturally.

1

Add her on Snapchat.

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If you haven’t already, make sure you can send her a Snap in the first place! Open Snapchat and tap the ghost icon at the top of the screen. In the menu that appears, select “Add Friends.” After that, you’ll be able to add her with her username, through your phone’s contacts (if you have her number), or with a special Snapchat code.^{[1]
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- If you don’t have her username, number, or Snapchat code, you can always add her by finding her in the friends list of a mutual friend.
- Avoid following her on multiple platforms, like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram, on the same day. Doing so might come across too strong.
 Meet the wikiHow Experts

Hardy Jean is a dating coach who specializes in trauma healing, self-love practices, and modern dating tactics in an increasingly virtual world.

John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker with over 15 years of professional experience helping people find love.

2

Send her casual snaps a few days later.

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Wait a few days before sending that first snap. Snapping her right away might seem a little desperate. After that, snap her once every other day with things like your dog eating snow, street performers, the pile of homework you got in math class, or anything casual and (relatively) impersonal that you see in your everyday life. At this stage, it’s better not to snap too often. Dating coach Hardy Jean says, “I don't recommend [messaging] all day every day, especially early on in the courting stage.”^{[2]
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Hardy Jean
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- You can also send her an opening Snap to tell her how you found her on the app, especially if you aren’t already close friends or acquaintances.
- “Tell her that you saw that she was a friend of a friend, or that she somehow just popped up in your feed,” suggests dating coach John Keegan.^{[3]
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- When you send her casual snaps regularly, she’ll start expecting to hear from you. This will develop naturally into more snaps in the future.

3

Increase the frequency of your snaps gradually.

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As you get to know her better through your casual snapping, you'll start exchanging Snaps more frequently. If she keeps responding (and her responses seem genuine, not just polite), it's likely that she wants the conversation to continue. Good for you—it seems like you’ve got her hooked!

4

Tailor your responses to her Snaps and messages.

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Reply to her Snaps with related comments and follow-up questions. If she responds to you, allow the conversation to develop as though you were chatting in person. Ask her questions about the things she says or sends you (this will show that you’re interested in her, and that you’re a good listener!). For example, if she sends you a Snap of her new puppy, follow with questions like, “What breed is he?” or “What did you name him?”
- Keegan also suggests that you follow up on previous things she’s said. For example, you can say, “Hey, I actually picked up that book you were talking about. It's really resonating with me.”^{[4]
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- Or, continues Keegan, say something like “Hey, I ended up watching that Netflix show you were talking about a couple of weeks back and I love [character].”^{[5]
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- In return, use your snaps to paint her a picture of what you like, what you do, and what's important to you.
- If you just aced a big exam, for instance, feel free to share the good news with her. If you’ve taken up a new hobby that you’re excited about, send her a clip of you in your element.

5

Create opportunities for conversation.

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Send her a snap every time your favorite song comes on the radio. This way, when she hears the song, she’ll send you a snap and you’ll have a chance to snap more. Jean believes that how often you message each other “really depends on where you are in the courting stage.” He adds that snapping “funny things first is a great way to really break the ice and then really slowly build up into more emotional things.”^{[6]
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Hardy Jean
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Expert Interview} Some other useful snaps for creating conversation opportunities include:
- Cute animals
- Shared favorites (like cars, books, and food)
- Familiar locations (like classrooms and buildings)
- Familiar people (like mutual friends)^{[7]
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6

Bond over things you have in common.

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Focus on topics that interest you and her. If you’re not sure what to talk about, things that you both enjoy will be easier topics of conversation, and people are typically more willing to open up to someone if they share common passions or viewpoints. Think about her hobbies, the clubs she’s involved in, and her goals. Any of these could be a springboard into a full Snapchat conversation. Some common areas you might explore include:
- Art
- Books
- Music
- School / Teachers
- TV Shows and Movies
- Sports
- Videogames
- Celebrity gossip

7

Tell a story with your snaps.

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For example, if there’s a lot of hustle and bustle behind you, you could pretend like you’re running from a crowd. Use snaps of your empty workplace with some witty text (“busy day in the office”) to increase her interest.

8

Comment on her Snapchat stories.

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When you first start snapping, only comment occasionally. As you begin to snap more, increase your comments. You don’t have to be funny or wacky when commenting. In a story about her playing with a dog, for example, you might say, “That’s the cutest dog I’ve ever seen!!”
- Comments are a great place for you to ask casual questions. If you notice she was at a concert, you might ask, “Who’d you go see?” She’ll likely respond, and you can start talking about music.

9

Avoid basic chat openers or replies.

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Unoriginal or dry responses won’t give her anything to reply to! This makes it much more likely that the conversation will get boring, stall out, and end—even if neither of you wants it to! For example, low-effort or tired phrases like “Sup,” “Whatcha doin',” and “ok” won’t catch her attention, and they may go unread. Instead, send her something that’s easy for her to engage with and respond to, like a pic in a cowboy hat with the message, “Howdy!”^{[8]
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- Or, if you want to know what she’s up to, say something like, “I’ve been working on that chem homework for hours today omg 😩 hope you’re having a more exciting day!”
- Aim for a friendly, interested, playful tone. For example, you could write, “they’ll never catch me” with a snap of police driving by.

10

Don’t obsess over ignored Snaps.

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Generally, people take snaps less seriously than texts or phone calls. Due to this, many snaps go unseen. If your snaps get ignored, don’t take it personally. She might be busy, or she possibly hasn’t seen the notification yet. As a good rule of thumb, Keegan shares that “you never want to appear needy,” so don’t double or triple snap her if she doesn’t answer.^{[9]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} And, when you’re busy, don’t feel pressured to respond to right away, either. Playing it cool and being patient is key.
- This being said, if she never opens or replies to your Snaps, she may just not be interested in starting or continuing a conversation with you. In that case, it’s probably best to respect her boundaries, take a hint, and stop sending messages to her.

11

Use funny or artsy filters on your Snaps.

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There are many picture and voice filters you can use to spice up snaps. For example, you could use the doe filter along with a snap of yourself and the message, “I’m hungry. U?” for extra cute factor. Or, add a robot voice to you singing the lyrics to her favorite song.
- Photo filters can be accessed by going into camera mode, putting your face into camera view, and then swiping left or right to pick from the available filters.
- Audio filters can be accessed by recording your normal voice first, and then tapping the speaker icon in the lower-left corner of the screen to apply a voice filter.^{[10]
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- Snapchat regularly releases new filters. Experiment with the various filters available to find your favorites.^{[11]
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12

Use the streak to your advantage.

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By snapping daily, you’ll eventually build up a streak. This is an automatic feature. Like most Snapchat users, she’ll probably want to keep the streak alive. This will create even more chances for you to talk with her!^{[12]
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- By building the frequency of your snaps gradually, you can get a streak started subtly.
- To achieve a streak, you need to consistently Snap each other for at least 3 days in a row.
- Think of the streak as an extension and symbol of your connection— the longer it is, the stronger the bond between you two is becoming!

13

Have fun and respect her boundaries.

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Since Snapchat sends videos, boundaries can sometimes be overstepped. Some people might think it’s no big deal to walk around without a shirt on, but to others, that may be disrespectful. Sending inappropriate messages on Snapchat could get your account revoked, and additionally, it could seriously turn your crush off. Respecting her boundaries on the app can show her how much you like her and could take the blossoming relationship to the next level.
- It is generally frowned upon to share private snaps to your Snapchat story.
- During your chats, feel free to ask what she’s okay with and where she draws the line. Respecting her boundaries is instrumental in developing a healthy relationship.

Community Q&A

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Question

What should I use for the first snap if I'm Snapchatting a girl for the first time?

Community Answer

It depends on whether or not you know her in person. If you talk to her often, then you can jump right into a conversation. If you don't talk much or are trying to get to know her, then start with a simple greeting. Something like "Hi", or asking how her day was.

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How do I start talking to a girl that's been in my class for a whole semester?

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Just be yourself. If you act different, she will notice since she has already seen you in class for a semester.

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If we just started to talk on Snapchat, should I take it slow and only message every other day?

Community Answer

There's no set guideline for this, as it depends largely on the other things going on in both of your lives. Let the amount of time in between her responses be your guide. If she replies to you in a couple of hours, wait a couple of hours before you respond (unless it's urgent, of course). If she takes a couple of days to respond, do the same. If she's getting back with you right away, keep the conversation going. (Be sure to do your part in this by asking plenty of open-ended questions.)

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