What Is the Difference Between Situationships & Friends with Benefits?

You’ve likely heard the terms “situationship” and “friends with benefits” before. But do you know what they actually mean? They’re the same thing, right? Well, not exactly. Situationships are undefined relationships formed from a common experience, while friends with benefits (FWB) is a physically intimate relationship without commitment. In this article, we defined and compared each dating term to help you identify your relationships better. Plus, we spoke to dating coach John Keegan to bring you the best advice on handling these types of relationships.

Situationship vs. Friends with Benefits

Situationships revolve around a specific scenario and are often emotionally involved with unclear expectations, whereas friends with benefits have clear boundaries and are focused on physical intimacy.

Section 1 of 8:

What is a situationship?

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A situationship is an undefined romantic relationship. There are many types of situationships, but what all of the different types have in common is that they’re incredibly vague and aren’t defined. Situationships aren’t labeled, and they often (but don't always) involve a partner who leads the relationship on without defining it.^{[1]
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Research source} Partners are intimate, but there’s a lack of obligation or exclusivity—there’s no clear boundary or label.^{[2]
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- For example, that someone special you meet over summer break at the beach but never speak to again once school starts is a situationship.
- A situationship may also involve a couple in which one person would like to commit to a relationship, but the other is unsure of what they want or doesn't want to commit to the other person, and so they intentionally avoid defining the relationship.
- While the ambiguity of a situationship can be exciting, it may also cause anxiety and stress.

Section 2 of 8:

How to Tell if You're in a Situationship

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Situationships lack boundaries and tend to be pretty superficial. There are many kinds of situationships, so it may be tricky to tell whether you’re in one or not. Most situationships, however, have these common characteristics:^{[3]
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- No labels or exclusivity. The relationship is never defined by either party. You’re never “girlfriend,” “boyfriend,” or “partner.”
- No clear boundaries. The relationship isn’t defined, so it can be difficult to establish boundaries about wants and needs.
- Irregular or superficial contact. Those in a situationship likely only talk or reach out to one another when the right scenario comes around. Communication is sporadic.
- Lack of integration. In a situationship, both parties don’t include each other in their personal lives. The connection doesn’t go beyond those involved.
- Zero growth. The relationship stays stagnant in a situationship. It doesn’t grow or expand into something that could grow into a long-term partnership.

Section 3 of 8:

What is a friends-with-benefits relationship?

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A FWB relationship involves agreed-upon, non-committal sex. A friends-with-benefits (FWB) relationship is exactly what it sounds like—a pair of friends with sexual benefits. With this relationship, there are no strings attached, and most importantly, both parties know it and agree to it upfront. You’re sexually available for each other without being in a strict, exclusive relationship. Both parties are aware that the relationship will never become serious.^{[4]
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- Unlike random hookups, you get to know the other person intimately because you see each other regularly.^{[5]
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- For example, an FWB relationship could involve regularly hooking up with a friend and not expecting an emotional connection that goes beyond physical intimacy.
- Keegan describes a FWB relationship as "no strings attached [relationship], but every version of that relationship has to be between the two people and what they mean."^{[6]
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- FWB relationships can be slippery slopes, as it can be easy for both parties to attract feelings for one another that go beyond physical pleasure.

Section 4 of 8:

How to Have a Successful FWB Relationship

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FWB relationships need ground rules to prevent misunderstandings. Boundaries are incredibly important in FWB relationships as they can provide both parties with clarity to avoid miscommunications. In other words, making sure you’re on the same page before indulging in the relationship is key. Here are the ground rules to having a successful FWB relationship:^{[7]
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- Understand that the relationship may not be exclusive. Jealous behavior can hinder an FWB relationship. FWBs are free to see anyone they like (unless discussed otherwise).
- Be noncommittal. The joy of an FWB is you can care about each other and be physically intimate without romantic obligations.
- Talk openly. Communication is key with FWB relationships. Discuss your wants, needs, and boundaries before diving in.
- Practice safe sex. FWB relationships aren’t necessarily exclusive, so be open with your partner about other sexual partners and get tested regularly to keep yourself (and partners) safe.
- Know you can end the relationship at any time. There are no strings attached with an FWB, so it’s okay to end the physical intimacy if a long-term partner is found or the sexual tension fizzles out.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Be open and honest with each other. It can be easy for one person to catch deeper feelings in a FWB relationship. Make sure you have honest conversations throughout the relationship, even if they might be difficult.

Section 5 of 8:

Situationship vs. FWB: Similarities & Differences

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1
Similarities
- Noncommittal: Situationships and FWBs allow you to choose which part of a relationship you want to indulge in. You can get physical without having to commit.^{[8]
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- No labels: Situationships and FWBs don’t have labels, making them undefined and vague relationships.
- Heartbreak: Both situationships and FWBs can be risky and cause heartbreak. Friends with benefits often lack depth, and situationships can start and end abruptly.
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Differences
- Rules: Friends-with-benefits relationships have general rules for parties to follow—there’s a clear set of boundaries. Situationships often lack this.
- Clarity: In situationships, it’s generally unclear where the relationship is headed, whereas in FWB relationships, both parties agree the relationship is merely sexual and won’t become serious.
- Emotional involvement: FWB relationships focus less on emotional connection and more on physical intimacy, whereas situationships often form from an emotional connection that stems from a situational commonality.
- Exclusivity: Exclusivity can be fuzzy for situationships. Depending on the scenario, it could be implied that a situationship is supposed to be exclusive for the time being. FWBs are often non-exclusive and encourage parties to explore relationships with others.

Section 6 of 8:

What Relationship Are You In?

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1
Are you in a friends-with-benefits relationship? If you’re in a FWB relationship, chances are you started out as friends and then engaged in casual, non-committed sex. You have little to no expectations about the potential of the relationship turning into something more—you’re just excited to hook up and have fun!^{[9]
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Research source} If you agree with these statements, you’re likely in a FWB relationship:
- You think of them as a “friend you hook up with” rather than a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.”
- You’re not romantically committed to your partner.
- You feel free to be intimate with other people.
- Your friend also doesn't feel committed or expect anything from you.
2
Are you in a situationship? According to Keegan, if you’re in a situationship, it’s very likely that the relationship started quickly and suddenly.^{[10]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} You or your partner probably can’t (or won’t) put a label on your relationship—it’s all pretty vague, and you’re just going with the flow. While this may be exciting at first, you may find the overall relationship confusing. If you agree with these statements, chances are you’re in a situationship:^{[11]
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Cleveland Clinic
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- You’re confused if the relationship is exclusive and don’t know how to label your partnership.
- You’re unsure if there are boundaries to your relationship.
- You and your partner’s communication is sporadic.
- You feel like the relationship is stagnant.
- Still unsure whether or not you’re in a situationship? Take our quiz!

Section 7 of 8:

How to Define Your Relationship

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Talk to your partner about the seriousness of your relationship. Whether you want something more exclusive or more vague, it’s important to discuss these feelings and thoughts with your partner. Communicating your wants and needs (and also respecting your partner’s) can help you define the type of relationship you’re in. Try asking yourself and your partner these questions:^{[12]
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- What do you want out of the relationship?
- How do you feel about open relationships?
- What rules and boundaries are in your relationship?
- Would you like to pursue something more serious with this person in the future?

Section 8 of 8:

Are situationships or FWB relationships bad?

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There's no "good" or "bad," as long as you and your partner are happy. Everyone has their own sexual preferences. A casual sexual relationship of any sort can be fulfilling as long as both parties are on the same page about their level of commitment and where the relationship is headed (if anywhere).^{[13]
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Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University

Go to source} However, situationships tend to be more frustrating and alienating than FWB relationships because they’re not clearly defined.^{[14]
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Cleveland Clinic
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- Take some time to really think about your relationship wants and needs—does your current partnership fulfill them?
- Communicate with your partner about your needs and expectations of the relationship to see if you’re both on the same page.^{[15]
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Why do we often form emotional attachments when we have sex? When you have sex, your body releases hormones that can cause an attachment to your partner. It’s simply the body’s reaction to pleasure.^{[16]
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