How to Talk to Girls on Bumble: Conversation Starters & More

Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: September 28, 2024 Fact Checked

So you swiped right and matched with a girl on Bumble, but what should you say once she starts the conversation? How can you make a good impression and keep chatting with her? Once she messages you, it's easy to show her how interested and interesting you are. Keep reading for all the best tips, tricks, and example texts of what to say to turn your matches into dates!

1

Reference something from her profile.

Her pics and bio have a lot of good conversation topics about her interests. Scour through your match’s photos and bio to find something interesting that you want to talk about. You could mention what you see in the background of her pics, answer a question she listed in her bio, or scroll through her interests to see what you have in common.
- “UGH is that the Eiffel Tower?? I’ve always wanted to go to France! What was your favorite part of your trip?”
- “Oh my gosh, I never thought I’d meet someone else who likes pineapple on pizza. I’m glad we’re in this together!”
- “It’s so cool that you’re studying film! Was there a movie that inspired you to do that?”

2

Ask her open-ended questions.

Questions make the girl open up so you can build your connection. Open-ended questions start with “what” or “how” and need a longer response to answer. You could ask something about her childhood, her favorite hobbies, or her life in general. When she responds, be sure to answer the question too so she can learn about you.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach

Expert Interview}
- “What was your favorite memory from growing up?”
- “How would you spend your perfect day off?
- “What was the best advice someone has ever given you?”

3

Try a goofy one-liner.

Show off your sense of humor so she knows you’re fun to be around. While they may sound a little cheesy, jokes will make her laugh and put her in a good mood. You could try a silly joke when there’s a lull in the conversation, or make light of something that you noticed in her profile as long as you aren’t mean about it.
- “Have I told you that your dog is so cute? You’re not too bad either though 😏”
- “Alright, I know it’s been a long day, but I’m here! What were your other two wishes?”
- “I don’t usually like dried fruit, but I’d try a date with you 😛”

4

Flatter her with a compliment.

You’ll let your match know that you’re really into her. Find something impressive on your match’s profile or further back in your conversation. You can mention one of her talents, her interests, or a feature you find attractive. Be careful not to make any sexual remarks when you first start chatting since it could make her feel uncomfortable.
- “I love all the art on your profile! You’re such a talented painter!”
- “Wow, your eyes are so stunning, I couldn’t look away from your profile!”
- “You have an amazing taste in music. I can’t wait to ask for recommendations!”

5

Send a Bumble Emoji when you swipe right.

Your match will see your reaction as soon as they match with you. Even though girls make the first move on Bumble, you can start off on a good note with an emoji reaction and comment. Press the react button on one of her pics or on her bio and choose the emoji you want to send. If she matches with you, she’ll see your reaction and comment right away.
- This is a great way to get the conversation going so she doesn’t have to break the ice.

6

Match her messaging style.

Copying how your match talks makes her feel more comfortable. If your match sends you short and snappy messages, try to send her messages that have the same tone and length. She’ll see that you’re balancing out the conversation and feel like you’re really good at holding a conversation with her.
- Her: “Hey, how are you?”
  You: “I’m good, how about you?”
- Her: “OMG! I can’t believe we’re both fans of Maroon 5!!”
  You: “WOW you like them too?! I love them! What’s your fav song?”

7

Wait for a reply before messaging again.

Double-texting might make it seem like you’re always available. Rather than sending her a wall of texts, only send her one text at a time so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed. Once she replies, it’s okay to text her after the same amount of time so it doesn’t seem like you were waiting next to your phone for a reply.^{[2]
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Research source}
- If you’re feeling tempted to message her, start doing an activity you love to help take your mind off of her.
- Reader Poll: We asked 2088 wikiHow readers how long they typically wait to respond to someone they’re interested in, and 51% of them agreed that they respond right away to show their enthusiasm. [Take Poll]

8

Use good grammar and spelling.

Using a lot of shorthand abbreviations and sending typos can be tough to read and could turn your match off of the convo. If you want her to stick around and chat, reread through your messages before you send them to check if they make sense or have any errors.

9

Hop on a video chat together.

You can build a stronger connection if you can see your match. Bumble allows you to start a video call with your match before you meet. Find a quiet time when you’re both free to chat so you can hop on video. It’ll feel a lot more natural to talk with your match when you can hear her voice and see her face.^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source

American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists

Go to source}
- Make sure you dress up a little so you look your best for your match.

10

Set up a time to get together in person.

It’s important to test the physical chemistry with your match. After you’ve gotten to know your match for a while, build up the courage to ask her out so you can meet face-to-face. Suggest a public place where you can easily meet up and talk. You could plan a casual get-together or plan a really romantic date depending on how much you’ve chatted already.
- “I’ve loved talking to you here. Would you want to grab a coffee this weekend?”
- “I feel like we’ve got something really good here. When can I take you out to dinner?”
- “Do you want to meet up this week? I know this great spot to get some drinks.”

11

Move on if the conversation dies out.

You deserve to have someone who’s excited to talk to you. Whether your match expires or doesn’t respond, it’s better to look for someone new rather than dwelling on one person. There are probably a ton of other girls on Bumble that are excited to talk to you—you just have to put yourself back out there and start matching again.
- If your match is about to expire because she hasn’t reached out, you can extend it once for 24 hours. She’ll know that you really want her to message you and she may start the chat.

How Do You Start A Conversation On A Dating App?

Join the Discussion...

How do you start conversations on dating apps?

Damona Hoffman
Celebrity Dating Coach

First of all, I recommend keeping your first message short and sweet. My easy formula is "comment plus question". I couple those two things together because the comment is saying something specific about the profile that you connected to personally, while the question is an invitation to move the conversation forward. And it gives you something to hang the conversation on. If you're just saying, “Hi” or “I liked your profile” or something generic, it tends to start the conversation out without any real momentum. However, you absolutely need momentum to drive the relationship forward if your goal is to ultimately move it off of the app and into real life. There are so many matches and options that people are sorting through that you need a simple framework like this to get conversations going. This way, you'll be able to stay in the game, sort through your matches, communicate effectively, and figure out what you need to know about someone before you go to the next step with them. Good luck!

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Tips

Put attractive pics and a bio on your profile to show off your best features.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach

Expert Interview} You may get more girls to match and message you if you have a detailed profile.^{[5]
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