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Q&A for How to Deal with Friends Who Invite Themselves over Without Asking

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My friends always ask if they can come back to my house after they go out for dinner, which they did not invite me to. Is this acceptable?

Community Answer

No, that's extremely rude, and you should tell them that. Say something like, "I understand if you don't want to invite me out to dinner with you, but it's very rude for you to expect me to host you at my house after you've gone out."

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Question

I moved to a new state now I seem to have bunch of people inviting themselves to my home. These people have not ever invited me over to their homes.

Community Answer

When they come over, don't let them in and have your parents answer the door and tell them to go away.

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Question

I was planning to hang out with just my kind of boyfriend before I moved away and there was a girl who happened to be very rude to me in the past, invited herself over and disincluded me. What do I say?

Community Answer

Be polite, but firm. Explain to her that if she ever does this another time that your home is your space, or that you are busy and she isn't welcome without your express permission. Tell her she wouldn't like it if you did the same thing to her if the roles were reversed.

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Question

An acquaintance has invited herself to a party I have organized. Is there a polite way to let her know this is rude?

Community Answer

There really isn't. She is probably going to be offended either way. If it means a lot to you to let her know that her behavior was rude, just tell her this directly. The honest way is always the best, just make sure you're polite when addressing the situation.

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Question

My friends came over without permission, trashed my house, then said they had to go. A few hours later I see their Snapchat stories and apperantly they all went out to dinner without me. What do I do?

Community Answer

Find new friends. There's pretty much no excuse for that behavior. If you really want to give them another chance, have a talk with them about the way this made you feel and see if they at least apologize. Then it's up to you how you want to handle it.

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Question

My friend has to come over every day before and after school because his dad has work, and he is disrespectful to me and my family when he is here. How can I address this situation?

YourgirlV

Community Answer

You should consider talking to his dad. Explain that the current arrangement isn't working out, and provide specific examples of his son's disrespectful behavior. Make it clear that such behavior is not acceptable in your home.

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Question

My friend frequently comes over to my house without calling first; how can I politely ask her to stop this behavior?

YourgirlV

Community Answer

You could say, "Hey, please let me know before you come over. I might be busy, and I don't want to cancel at the last minute. A quick call would be greatly appreciated."

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Question

Why don’t my friends visit my home, even though I always visit theirs?

YourgirlV

Community Answer

You could try inviting them over, or simply ask them directly about this observation. If they are true friends, they should be honest with you, and together you can address any concerns.

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Question

I am elderly, and after I asked a friend to call before visiting, she stopped speaking to me. Was I right or wrong to set this boundary?

YourgirlV

Community Answer

You were right to stand your ground and set a boundary. It is her choice whether she wants to speak to you, but you should enjoy yourself without worrying about her reaction.

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I was cooking jalapeño poppers for my coworker when my mom's friend unexpectedly dropped in and announced she was staying to eat some. What should I do?

YourgirlV

Community Answer

You can politely tell her that the food was prepared for someone else, perhaps offering her the recipe if she's interested in making her own. Additionally, it would be beneficial to address this issue with your mother, since they are friends.

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