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Question

What's your advice for asking permission if your parents are always saying no?

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Try to understand why they said no. If you ask to be allowed to get back at midnight and they say 10 PM, instead of getting angry, try to understand why that is. You’ll get an honest answer. If you can understand where they're coming from, you can address that point, and maybe promise them that you understand them. In due time, they will start to trust you more.

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Question

My parents won't let me download TikTok because they think I will spend too much time on my phone. How can I combat this?

Community Answer

Tell them you won't use it beyond a certain amount of time per day, and let them use parental controls.

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Question

I want a private TikTok account, but Mom says I have to talk to Dad. But Dad says no. What do I do?

Community Answer

Maybe talk to your dad and ask about his concerns and potential solutions to them. If that fails, you will probably have to give up sadly.

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Question

What if my parents said no, because of the bad use of language?

Community Answer

Tell them that you know not to repeat it and if you do, they can take away TikTok for a pre-agreed amount of time.

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Question

I’m like really close to persuading my mom and dad, but my mom keeps delaying talking about and downloading it! I have tried everything in the ways above but it’s not worked! How do I proceed?

Community Answer

Bring it up when your parents are free. This way, she has no reason to delay talking about it. Maybe ask her if she has any concerns, and then come up with ideas to counter those concerns.

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Question

My mom won’t let me get TikTok and I asked her but she said not no, because she doesn’t want me to have social media, but I have Instagram! What should I do?

Community Answer

Does your mom know about your Instagram account? If she does, maybe try to be responsible with that one first. If not, then maybe delete your Instagram account or stop using it and then ask her.

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Question

My mom is too scared that someone’s gonna find me one day. What should I do?

Community Answer

Don't show information that can be used to track you.

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Question

Should I make a PowerPoint to convince them?

Community Answer

Yes. In fact, this may show them you are dedicated and may make them more likely to say yes.

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Question

Community Answer

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Question

How old should I be to get TikTok, because my parents say I'm too young?

Community Answer

From a legal standpoint, you have to be 13, so if you are not already 13, wait until then. However, your parents may still disapprove, and if they do, maybe show them other young social media accounts, which may convince them.

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Question

I’m 12 in April and I really want some sort of social media. What should I do?

Community Answer

Legally, you are not supposed to have any accounts of your own until you are 13, so being of legal age to have an account will help. However, once you turn that age, ask your parents for help with signing you up.

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Question

Last year, my mum asked if I wanted it and I said no, but now I do want it, I've asked her a few times but she always says "yeah, but I'm busy right now." I don't know how to ask her and get her to actually do it.

HarleyEL

Community Answer

Pick a time when she isn't busy. Then, tell her that you changed your mind and want it now. Also explain that if you were old enough a year ago, then why aren't you now?

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Question

My mum has Family Link and continues to block my social media. How do I stop her from blocking my social media?

HarleyEL

Community Answer

If you are at least 13, tell her that from a legal standpoint, you are old enough for most social media accounts. Alternatively, you could try resetting your phone to remove Family Link from your device.

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Question

What if my parents say I can’t have it because it’s dangerous? I mean it’s not dangerous, plus they have it and my other sister has it, so why can’t I have it?

Community Answer

Maybe your other sister has proven herself responsible enough for it, or you are younger. Remember, you are supposed to be 13 to have TikTok.

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Question

My parents are scared of me having TikTok by the fact that there is a lot of inappropriate videos and that I shouldn't be watching them (I'm almost 13) what do I say for them to let me get TikTok?

HarleyEL

Community Answer

Tell them that you promise not to watch inappropriate videos. If they are still concerned, tell them that they can check your search history at the end of the week. Just be careful with this though. If you think your parents won't approve of something, they probably won't.

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Question

I have already had a TikTok account in the past but my mom made me delete it because I posted a semi-inappropriate video. How do I get her to let me have it again, especially with all the bans?

Community Answer

Promise her that you won't post inappropriate videos and that you have learnt from past mistakes. If she is still concerned, offer to let her watch every video before it goes live. If she still says no, then sadly there is not much you can do but wait more.

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Question

My parents think that I am going to post inappropriate videos, what should I do?

Alexa

Community Answer

Assure them that you will not. If they still think so, maybe you can offer to do a trial run for 1 month, and if you haven't posted any inappropriate videos, maybe they will let you have an account.

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Question

I'm not allowed to have it until I'm 16. My parents say I'm too young now. They're mostly worried about inappropriate content that I could see on it. How can I convince them to let me get it?

Community Answer

Maybe you could say it's for a school project or something like that. Or maybe you could wait 'til you're 16. It'll still be there.

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Question

I'm turning 13 in a few weeks and I really want a tt account, but my parents think I will look at inappropriate stuff and get addicted to it, so they won't let me. What should I do?

Community Answer

Ask for a trial week or month. Also you can tell them about the parent setting available that notifies them if you post something.

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Question

What if my parents are worried about the videos I'm watching?

Charlotte Douglas

Community Answer

You can say that whatever you like and favorite, will pop up. If you search inappropriate things, then that is what is going to show on the for your page, which they will see.

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Question

My parents are very strict and my grades so far have been good, they let me have Snapchat and Instagram but won't let me have TikTok and every time I ask, they just ignore me or shout at me for asking.

Charlotte Douglas

Community Answer

Remember, you can always ask them calmly and maybe during a meal. You say, “I don’t really know why you are forbidding me to have TikTok. Can you please explain?”

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Question

How do I say "mom can I have a kid's TikTok account." in the best way to let her say yes?

Charlotte Douglas

Community Answer

You can say, "Mom, I would like to have a TikTok account. I will have a private one and you can monitor my videos that I post. You also don’t need to worry about me posting it socially because I can turn it to friends only. Then say, I can turn off DMs too!"

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Question

I’ve had TikTok before on my old phone that was not monitored and I made a bad mistake talking to someone I didn’t even know. Now my new phone is monitored - it’s been 2 years and I still can’t have it?

Community Answer

Consider telling them that you only did it once, that it has been 2 years now and that you have learnt from past mistakes and matured.

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Question

I really want a TikTok, but my parents are extremely political and call it Chinese spyware. What should I do?

Community Answer

Tell your parents that if TikTok is Chinese spyware, then how do they know that software from other countries is not spyware, like Samsung (South Korea), (iPhones, made in China) and other objects. If TikTok was Chinese spyware, then someone would have discovered it by now and it would have been shut down.

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Question

My parents think I’m too young, is 11 too young?

Community Answer

Legally, you have to be 13 to have TikTok and most other social media, so yes, 11 is too young. Your parents are right. Consider asking when you turn 13. During the time you are waiting, you have plenty of time to develop a good reason to get TikTok.

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Question

I really want a public account but my parents are worried about getting messages from strangers and hate comments. What should I do?

Brielle Downey

Community Answer

Tell them that you're going to turn off your DMs (which is called Direct Messages) and know what you're going to do with hateful comments like blocking the person or reporting them to TikTok. A private account is effective because you won't have strangers messaging you or getting hate comments while you still can make videos.

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Question

My mum and dad are really strict and they are not allowing me to have Tik Tok, I have good grades and I am very responsible, I asked them why I cannot have an account and they didn't reply, why is this?

Anna Ford

Community Answer

They probably do not want you to be exposed to various unsavory people online. Maybe try asking them again in a few weeks or months.

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Question

Why do my parents always get really mad when I respectfully ask if I can get a TikTok account?

Valerie

Community Answer

They want you to concentrate on your studies or probably to protect your safety.

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Question

What if your parents have a download tracker?

Brooke

Community Answer

That's okay! Remember that you must ask your parents before downloading TikTok because they might get mad at you if you don't. As you don't want to lose their trust, don't download it behind their backs.

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Question

I have just gotten my first phone, which my parents monitor. I asked for TikTok, because I love doing the dances with my friends. I can’t understand why they are saying no because I’m very responsible. Why is this?

Brooke

Community Answer

They say no because they care for you and your safety. Social media is vast, and with cyberbullying, and trollers around, they wouldn't want you to get hurt. Let them know that you understand their opinion, and offer to make a compromise that they get to see whatever you do, and decide what you can do next. If they still don't let you download it, accept the fact, and ask them after a while again.

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