What Does It Mean to Be Polarizing?

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Tell-tale signs you have a polarizing personality (& what to do about it)

Co-authored by Aly Rusciano Reviewed by Allison Broennimann, PhD

Last Updated: July 31, 2023 References

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Polarizing Personality Meaning

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Polarizing Personality Traits

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What To Do

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Is being polarizing a bad thing?

Do you find yourself making lots of friends and enemies? If so, you likely have a polarizing personality. Polarizing people have the ability to be likable with one person and unlikable with the next. But how do you really know if you’re polarizing? Luckily, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ve broken down everything there is to know about polarizing personalities, from what they are to how to tell if you have one. Keep reading to see if you’re truly a polarizing person.

Things You Should Know

If someone is polarizing, the general public has mixed feelings about them. Some people love them, while others hate them.
Polarizing people are often decisive and divisive. They know what they want and aren’t afraid to divide people to get it.
Being polarizing is neither good nor bad. Ultimately, what you do with the power your personality holds determines how people perceive you.

Section 1 of 4:

What is a polarizing personality?

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If you have a polarizing personality, some people hate you while others love you. When something’s polarizing, it’s a cause for a great debate and divided opinions.^{[1]
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Research source} Because of this, polarizing people are either adored or despised. They tend to have a cult-like following around them, with communities being very vocal about their support or distaste.
- For example, you may be familiar with some of these famous polarizing people: Kanye West, Donald Trump, Tom Cruise, Meghan Markle, Wendy Williams, and Johnny Depp.
- As another example, you may know the phrase “political polarization,” which occurs when a population has variously different attitudes toward a political party or its members.^{[2]
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  Trustworthy Source
  
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  
  Go to source}

Section 2 of 4:

15 Traits of a Polarizing Personality

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One of the main signs that you’re polarizing is that you’re a naturally divisive person. People tend to have mixed feelings about you—some like you, while others don’t.
When you make a decision, you stick to it. You don’t wallow or go back and forth when making choices. You know what you want, and people can’t usually change your mind.
You’re the main character of your own story, so why should you worry about what other people think? If you want something, you’re not afraid to go for it (no matter what it takes). You have big dreams and a whole lot of chutzpah.
With your confidence and eager attitude, you’ve certainly got a lot to say. You don’t hesitate to give people your 2 cents, which can sometimes give people an impression that you’re a know-it-all.
You know you’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and you’re totally cool with that! Popularity isn’t a concern—if people don’t like you, they just have to deal with it.
You’ve likely never blended into a crowd if you have a polarizing personality. Eyes are naturally drawn to you, whether that’s from your fashion choices, energy, or good looks. All in all, you can’t disappear from the public eye.
Transparency is your middle name. People don’t have to guess what you’re thinking—they just have to look at your face. If you’re polarizing, there’s a high chance you wear your emotions on your sleeve.
If you’re a polarizing person, you’re likely unique. You don’t fit into a mold—you’re authentically you! While this can be uplifting and inspiring, it may also scare or intimidate others.
Stereotypes are bogus to you. In your mind, strengths and weaknesses are one and the same. A polarizing personality doesn’t fret about what you should be but what you can be.
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You struggle with boundaries. If you’re polarizing, you probably don’t worry too much about other people’s boundaries. When you have a plan, you’ll go for it, even if it means crossing a few lines. You’ll often say inappropriate things or overshare.
- You are either super great with boundaries or you struggle with boundaries. It's possible you're actually very transparent, set great boundaries and people get frustrated with you because they cannot take advantage of you.^{[3]
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  Allison Broennimann, PhD
  Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview}
People tend to gravitate toward you if you have a polarizing personality. What can you say? You’re magnetic. Because of this, you can easily influence others, which may be perceived as charming or manipulative.
If you’re polarizing, you most likely don’t do what other people do just because they’re doing it. In other words, you follow the beat of your own drum. You make your own rules and trends.
You’ll jump at the chance to share your opinion no matter the topic. Honestly, the more divisive the topic, the better! If you’re polarizing, chances are you believe everyone should be able to speak their mind, even if their opinions aren’t mainstream.
With your strong opinions, you can easily poke people’s buttons. You don’t necessarily mean to cause a ruckus or disagreement—you’re just speaking your mind. A polarizing nature can make you the center of arguments.^{[4]
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You can be a bit manipulative. More often than not, people say you’re calculated if you’re polarizing. You can easily speak your mind and sway others; you may even gaslight those who disagree with you (intentionally or not). Either way, you’re often perceived as deceptive or manipulative because of your influence.^{[5]
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- Others may accuse you of gaslighting even when you are being transparent and opinionated.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Allison Broennimann, PhD
  Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview}

Section 3 of 4:

What to Do if You’re Polarizing

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Be aware of your behavior. If you're polarizing, the best thing you can do is understand why and how your attitude or behavior affects people’s perception of you. Notice when people back away from you emotionally or physically. Basically, call yourself out. Then, consider what you can do to receive an opposite, more positive reaction.^{[7]
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- For example, if someone gives you a disapproving look after you’ve tried someone’s food, chances are you’ve shown your distaste on your face. Make a note to smile or remain stoic the next time you take a bite.
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Avoid making jokes. Sometimes sarcasm and humor can be the most polarizing. If you want to reverse your polarizing personality and make more people like you, try staying away from jokes and sarcastic remarks. These can sometimes come across as rude or insensitive, which can cause people to dislike you.^{[8]
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- Give a matter-of-fact statement rather than making a sarcastic comment so your opinion is super clear. For instance, instead of saying, “Yeah, it’d be nice to get some help. But that would require too much effort,” say, “Would you be able to help me with this? I feel like you’re being lazy.”
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Acknowledge and apologize for your mistakes. One of the best ways to make amends for polarizing behaviors is to own up to your mistakes. If you’ve offended anyone unintentionally, say you’re sorry. Then, make it a point to never make the same mistake again. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
- Try saying something like, “Hey, I’m sorry about what I said the other night. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, and now I know I was out of line. I promise I won’t make comments like that again.”
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Keep disagreements to a minimum. More often than not, people may have adverse opinions about you because your own opinion is polarizing. If you want to be more likable, do your best to avoid debate whenever possible.^{[9]
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- For instance, if someone says, “The movie really made me think,” respond with, “I wish they showed their backstory more deeply,” rather than “Really? I thought it was awful.” This way, you add to the conversation without putting down their opinion.
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Shift your personality. To become more agreeable and likable, try changing undesirable personality traits and adopt a flexible personality. Alter your demeanor depending on the circumstance. This way, you’re adapting to the public rather than being polarizing.^{[10]
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- For example, how you behave with your boss differs from how you interact with close friends. Use a professional attitude with your boss, refraining from saying things outside the company’s guidelines, and reserve personal opinions and casualties for close friends.
- Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean you have to change all aspects of yourself. Simply show certain aspects of your personality to specific people who’d like or benefit from it.

Section 4 of 4:

Is being polarizing a bad thing?

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Depending on who you ask, having a polarizing personality can be a blessing or a curse. On one hand, you can spark conversation with your naturally divisive nature. On the other, you may come across as arrogant or abrasive, causing conflict, tension, and stress in others. All in all, the morality of being polarizing depends on your attitude and actions.^{[11]
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Trustworthy Source

PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health

Go to source}