Download Article
Download Article
This article was co-authored by Donna Novak, Psy.D. Dr. Donna Novak is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Simi Valley, California. With over ten years of experience, Dr. Novak specializes in treating anxiety and relationship and sex concerns. She holds a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) and a doctoral degree (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University-Los Angeles. Dr. Novak uses a differentiation model in treatment that focuses on personal growth by increasing self-awareness, personal motivation, and confidence.
This article has been viewed 17,807 times.
Many vulva-owners have difficulty climaxing during sex, but it's easy to feel deprived and alone if you're in that boat. Taking some steps to understand how your body works can help you overcome that sense of deprivation, and even work your way towards achieving climax.
Steps
Download Article
-
Know that this doesn't reflect badly on you. Don't think that you are not worth living, don't think that you are less valuable because you are simply made by nature the way that it is not possible for you to climax during penetration only. -
2Learn about your anatomy. Learn more about your anatomy and body. Learn about the names of your different body parts, and consider using a mirror to find them on yourself. Many teen health websites can make up for poor, forgotten, or nonexistent sex education.Advertisement
-
Find out what you like on your own. Not everyone climaxes the same way. Knowing what you like is important, and once you know, you can mention it to your partner. Spend some time getting to know your body and find out what you like. It will help you and your partner in the long run once you know what makes you orgasm.[1] -
Discuss new techniques with your partner. Explain that you'd like to try a few new techniques, or explain that you've been having trouble climaxing. A loving, trusting partner will navigate this issue with you.[2]- Never fake an orgasm. This causes people to feel they know what you like and what supposedly makes you orgasm. Your partner will feel like you don't trust them if they find out.
- Reader Poll: We asked 375 wikiHow readers how they like to communicate their needs with their partner, and 62% of them agreed that they prefer open and honest communication without judgment. [Take Poll] Remember, your partner wants to help you, so don’t be afraid to tell them what you need!
-
Give feedback during intercourse. Your partner is not a mind-reader, and it helps them to know how you're feeling. Your partner can talk to you as well. Here are some ways to give feedback during intercourse without ruining the mood:- "Ooh, deeper."
- "That feels amazing."
- "That hurts. Could we stop for a minute?"
- "Do you think we take a break from intercourse and try XYZ?"
-
Be willing to experiment. Learning your own body is a process that takes time. Play around with different positions and toys. Communicate with your partner. Try different things and see what works for you.[3]
Quiz Pack: We’ve handpicked these quizzes just for you.
Expert Q&A
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about sexual activity, check out our in-depth interview with Donna Novak, Psy.D.
References
About This Article
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
Did this article help you?
