How Many Days Should I Wait to Text Him? Here's What Dating Experts Say

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Pro tips for when to text a guy (and when not to)

Written by Mark Rosenfeld | Edited by Eric McClure

Last Updated: September 30, 2025 Fact Checked

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• How Long to Wait
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• What to Say
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• When to Call it Quits
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• How often should he text?
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• FAQs

|Show more |Show less

Has the guy you liked stopped texting you, and you’re not sure how long to wait before texting him? Or maybe you just went on a date with a great guy and you’re not sure how long to wait before texting him afterward. Either way, waiting for a text from a guy you like isn’t fun. Luckily, you don’t have to wait on him forever. To figure out how long is too long, we spoke with dating and relationship coaches to get expert insight and advice on what to say when he responds.

When Should I Text Him?

Dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld recommends letting things breathe a little if you’ve just met. After 2-3 days have passed, send a short, simple question to see how he’s doing. If he doesn’t reply to that, wait another 3 days and try sending one more text. Keep it short, sweet, and upbeat to encourage a reply.

Steps

Section 1 of 5:

How Long to Wait Before Texting Him

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1. 
   Give it a few days (or even a week). Rosenfeld explains that just because a guy hasn’t reached out yet doesn’t mean he’s not interested—he still could be! It might feel tough waiting for him to text you, but your crush might truly be busy and unable to respond to your messages right away. Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he’s missing.

   • Dating coach John Keegan says that if you just went out on a date with the guy, text him within the next day if you had a good time so he knows you’re still interested in him. You may have heard of waiting a few days for the “3-day rule,” but that makes it seem like you’re playing games with his feelings.

   Meet the wikiHow Experts

   Mark Rosenfeld is a dating and relationship coach who specializes in helping women find (and keep) fulfilling relationships.

   Imad Jbara is a dating coach who helps clients by teaching essential communication skills.

   John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker with an expertise in dating, romantic attraction, and social skills.
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Section 2 of 5:

What to Say When You Text Him

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1. 
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   Send a simple question asking how he’s doing. Rosenfeld says that you could start a brand new conversation, or you can bring up something that you mentioned in your last text as a reminder. If you really want to grab his attention, Keegan says to mention something he’s interested in to hook him in. That way, you still sound light and bubbly without pushing him too hard.

   • “Hey you 😊 how’s your day going so far? Mine’s just getting started but I can tell it’s going to be busy already haha.”
   • “Hope you’ve had a good past couple of days! What have you been up to? I finished that book that I mentioned when we last talked and OMG it’s so good!”
   • “Hi! You’ve been on my mind a lot lately 🥰 How are you?”
   • If you’re texting after a first date, try, “Hey 🙂 last night was so much fun! Let’s get together again soon! ” or, “Hi again! I loved going out and getting to know you 😊 how are you doing today?”
2. 
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   Act like you’re excited to talk to him. Keegan says that if you try to make a guy chase you, it might seem like you’re playing games with his feelings. Since he’s already become a little distant, doing the same thing to him will only make it feel like you’re further apart. Show him that you’re eager and want to have a good time with him by adding some emojis and exclamation points to your messages.

   • “Hey you! 😊 I hope you’ve been having a good day! I can’t wait to see you again!”
   • “Hey! How have you been? I’ve just been busy thinking about what to do for our next date 😉”
3. 
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   Send him just one message and wait for him to reply. Sending a wall of texts can make it seem like you’re being pushy and may overwhelm him. Keegan recommends that you put your phone down and spend time doing something else to take your mind off your texts after you fire off the first text.

   • If he still doesn’t respond to your message, then you deserve to move on and chat with someone who appreciates you.
4. 
   4
   Keep a light and friendly tone if he doesn’t reply right away. Rather than accusing the guy of ignoring you or leaving you on read, keep your messages lighthearted to nudge him back toward the conversation. Guys are more likely to respond if you talk about positive topics, so he might reach out again if you show him that you aren’t upset or worried about losing him.
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Section 3 of 5:

When Not To Text Him (& Why)

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1. 
   If he hasn’t replied to a second text after a week, move on. A single missed text is no big deal, but if you followed up after a few days and he still isn’t replying, it’s probably a sign. Dating coach Imad Jbara recommends moving on if you’ve waited more than a week and still haven’t heard back from him. He says that it can be really hard when a guy flakes out on you, but there are other people out there for you! You deserve someone who appreciates you and your time.

   • You can try texting him a third time if you really want to, but don’t expect a response from him. He has made it clear he’s not worth your time.

Section 4 of 5:

How often should he text if he likes you?

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1. 
   Guys will usually text a few times a week if they’re interested. When a guy wants to get to know you more, he’ll want to reach out a couple of times in between dates to get to know you better. He’s still living his own life and staying busy, so he might not be able to text you all the time, but he’ll still stay in touch so you know he hasn’t moved on yet.

   • Most times, a guy will reach out first if he’s into you, but that shouldn’t stop you from texting him and starting the conversation if you want to talk.
   • If he’s really into you, you can usually expect at least one text from him every day.
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Section 5 of 5:

Frequently Asked Questions

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1. 1
   Should you text a guy if he hasn't replied? After a week or so, move on. Jbara says that "if a girl doesn't respond to you, or a guy doesn't respond to you, move on…if he gets back to you, great." In other words, there’s no point in sitting around and waiting for him to respond. Put the phone down and go and live your life! If things have been going well, he’s going to get back to you eventually anyway.

   • It’s okay to throw a second text out if you’ve been building momentum in the conversation and he goes dark for more than a day, but don’t waste your time double- or triple-texting after a week has passed.
2. 2
   Should I text him goodnight if he hasn't responded? If your convos have been going really well, feel free to send him a “goodnight” text, even if he hasn’t responded. Keegan breaks it down like this: “Just always keep in mind if you never want to appear needy, like you desperately need someone to respond to.” “Goodnight” texts don’t fall under this category, so you should be good.

   • That said, don’t send a “goodnight” text every single night if the two of you haven’t been talking regularly.
3. 3
   Should I wait for him to text me? Ibara says you’re best off waiting if you’ve already texted him. If you haven’t initiated a conversation yet and the two of you have just exchanged numbers, go ahead and text him first. Keegan says that guys aren’t going to sit around waiting for you to text them first, so if you want to start talking, go ahead and start talking!
4. 4
   Why do guys wait 3 days to text? Some guys wait 3 days because they’re worried about coming on too strongly. The “3-day rule” is a common rule of thumb for people who want to test the waters with their crush, but there’s no rule or requirement that says 3 days is the essential timeframe. That said, if a guy you like has your number and you’re waiting for him to reach out first, take the plunge and break the ice yourself!
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Join the Discussion...

Is expecting a text once an hour bad?

WikiNarwhalWatcher458

My SO and I have been dating for a few months and we text a lot since we're apart a lot when we're at work or school or even home because we don't live together. Recently, they're always taking a bit longer to reply. I'd really love to hear from them at leat once every hour, but idk if that would be a bad thing to ask. I don't really think that it's that unreasonable, but I'd love to hear what other people have to say about it.

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David Chambers
Dating and Relationship Coach

I do have thoughts on this. If you were one of my clients, the first thing I’d ask you is, “Why do you feel like you need to hear from them every hour? What do you feel, or what do you start to think is wrong? What are the thoughts you have about them or the relationship? Finally, maybe most important, what thoughts do you start having about yourself?”

So, first off, I’d encourage you to really consider those questions and know why you expect this. Maybe try journaling, and notice the emotions and feelings that you're having, or the somatic experience.

Then, I’d encourage you to have a conversation with your significant other. Maybe ask them, what level of communication would feel like too much for them as well?

Let’s say your partner expected communication every 15 minutes. How would you start to feel? Would that be too much? Try and get into a state of empathy, and understand what it might be like for your partner, if they wanted more communication than you’d be willing to give. Finally, chat with them about what is realistic for each of you to get on the same page. Maybe they can guarantee a message every eight hours, for instance, and you can get to a place you’re both happy about. If you’re still feeling anxious about communication levels, I’d encourage you to learn some tools around self-soothing.

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WikiBirdWatcher823

Sorry, but I think that's unreasonable. Texting someone every hour takes a lot of effort and will likely interrupt anything your partner is doing (hanging out with friends takes longer than an hour, doing work takes longer than an hour, etc.). I think it'd be more reasonable to expect a text once or twice a day, if you're willing to compromise. A text at least every hour is going to be 16+ texts a day depending on how much your partner sleeps. I understand that you might be anxious or insecure about your relationship but you might want to work on that instead of making your partner text you every hour.

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Improve Your Texting Game with this Expert Series

Not sure how to text a guy to get his attention and keep him interested? We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you text easily and confidently.

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Text a Guy on a Dating App

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How Often Should a Guy Text You in the Beginning?

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Text a Guy After the First Date

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How to Drop Hints to a Guy You Like & Get Him to Ask You Out

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Get Attention from a Guy over Text

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How to Ask a Guy to Hook Up over Text + Flirting Tips

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