What Does “Get Over Yourself” Mean?

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Discover the definition of this phrase and how to take its advice

Co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP and Annabelle Reyes

Last Updated: September 5, 2023 References

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What does “get over yourself” mean?

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How to Get Over Yourself

If someone in your life recently told you to “get over yourself,” you're likely having some complicated feelings. You might feel offended or confused about what you did to make someone say this to you. If you want to know what it means when someone says this phrase, you’ve come to the right place! We’ll take you through its definition, as well as some steps you can take to alter your behavior if someone you care about has told you to “get over yourself.”

Things You Should Know

“Get over yourself” is a phrase you might say to someone who is taking themselves too seriously or acting like they’re more important than other people.
If someone says this phrase to you, it could be because they believe you’re being too self-important or too sensitive, and they want you to get some perspective.
Gaining some perspective and putting yourself in others’ shoes can help you let go and move on, which are key to “getting over yourself.”

Section 1 of 2:

What does “get over yourself” mean?

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“Get over yourself” generally means "stop being so self-important." People usually say this phrase to someone who is taking themselves too seriously or acting like they’re more important than other people. If someone says this phrase to you (or about you), they likely believe that you’re being too proud, too sensitive, or too self-focused, and they’re encouraging you to get some perspective.^{[1]
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- Here are some examples of how this phrase is used in a sentence:
  - “He fell down during dance class last week, and now he says he’s never coming to class again because he’s too embarrassed. I feel for him, but I also think he needs to get over himself.”
  - “All of us had to wait in line to board the plane, but this one lady thought she deserved special treatment because she’s a well-known actress. I thought she needed to get over herself.”
  - “He’s been complaining all day because he thinks he was given the toughest clients to deal with at work, but we all have the same workload. I told him, ‘You need to get over yourself.’”
  - “You’re honestly missing your brother’s wedding because of a fight you had five years ago? You need to get over yourself.”
- It’s not totally clear where the phrase “get over yourself” originated from. The phrase “get over,” however, has been used to describe overcoming or recovering from something since the late 1600s.^{[2]
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Section 2 of 2:

How to Get Over Yourself

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Try to put things in perspective. When you’re struggling to “get over yourself,” minor inconveniences might seem like the end of the world. If you’re stuck in a traffic jam, the universe is out to get you. If the waiter brings you the wrong food at a restaurant, it’s a disaster that ruins the night. If you struggle with this, try broadening your perspective.^{[3]
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Research source} Take a step back and ask yourself if this will matter in 5 months or 5 years. If the answer is “no,” the problem you’re facing is pretty small in the grand scheme of things.
- If the issue you’re worrying about won’t be relevant in 5 months or 5 years, try not to spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it.^{[4]
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- This can be tough to do, so be patient with yourself! The idea is to see the big picture and remember that the setback you’re facing is temporary and manageable.
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Put yourself in others’ shoes. A big part of “getting over yourself” is seeing things from other peoples’ points of view. This helps you let go of grudges or tensions. If you’ve had a disagreement with a loved one, try to imagine the situation from their perspective. Imagine what they were thinking and how they were feeling, and take any personal struggles they have into account.^{[5]
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Research source} This tactic helps you take a step back from the situation and feel more empathy for the other person, so you can move on from the disagreement.
- If you’re having trouble imagining things from the other person’s perspective, try imagining the situation from a 3rd-person point of view.
- This means imagining the disagreement as if you were a narrator, rather than an actual participant.
- This technique helps you distance yourself from the situation and gain perspective, which can help you get over your disagreement.^{[6]
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Don’t compare yourself to others. If you think a successful coworker or high-achieving friend is better than you, you’ll likely become self-critical and insecure. On the flip side, if you think you’re better than someone else, you could become conceited. Both situations could result in people telling you to “get over yourself.” Whenever you feel the urge to compare, pause and take a deep breath. Remember that your worth comes from being uniquely you, not from being better than others.^{[7]
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- Instead of comparing yourself, focus on building your own self-confidence.^{[8]
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- Recite positive affirmations to build self-worth. For example, say “I’m happy to be uniquely me,” or “I am worthy and deserving of love.”
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Give yourself grace when you make mistakes. If you’re struggling to “get over yourself,” you’re probably self-critical.^{[9]
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Research source} You might beat yourself up if you make a mistake at work, or if you accidentally hurt a loved one’s feelings. This attitude prevents you from trying new things because you’re so afraid of failing. Plus, it contributes to a distorted sense of self-importance—you believe that people are keeping a tally of your mistakes, when in reality, everyone's moved on. When things don’t go as planned, be kind to yourself, and remember that mistakes help you grow.
- Try practicing self-compassion. Self-compassion involves recognizing that you’re human, and that it’s okay to not be perfect.^{[10]
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  Harvard Medical School
  Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
  
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- It helps you accept your mistakes gracefully, which makes you less likely to wallow or complain about your circumstances.^{[11]
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  Greater Good Magazine
  Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
  
  Go to source} This is key to "getting over yourself."
- Don’t be afraid to laugh and poke fun at yourself, too. Finding humor in your circumstances helps you stay light-hearted and positive, which can help you move on.^{[12]
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Practice positive self-talk. Self-talk is the unspoken stream of thoughts that runs through your mind constantly.^{[13]
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Research source} If these thoughts are negative, you’re more likely to take yourself too seriously and be too hard on yourself. Swapping out negative self-talk for positive self-talk will help you be less self-critical, which will in turn help you “get over yourself.” To do this, follow the golden rule: don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else.^{[14]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals

Go to source} Here are some examples:
- Negative self-talk: I messed up when I tried something new at work last week, and I hated feeling embarrassed. I’m never getting out of my comfort zone again.
  - Positive self-talk: This is an opportunity to learn something new, and it’s okay if it takes a few tries to get it right.
- Negative self-talk: My friend still hasn’t reached out to apologize to me after our fight. They clearly don’t care about me at all and don’t value me as a person.
  - Positive self-talk: My friend might not know how upset I am, and they might be struggling with their own issues, too. I have the power to reach out to them and try to remedy things, too.^{[15]
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