How to Get a Girlfriend in Elementary School

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Last Updated: June 5, 2025 Approved

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Picking the Right Girl

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Getting Her to Be Your Girlfriend

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You want a girlfriend, but you don't how to get one. That's ok. These steps will help you pick the right girl, and then get her to be your girlfriend.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Picking the Right Girl

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1
Interact with many girls to find a girl you like. If you already know which girl you want to be your girlfriend, jump to Part 2, Getting Her to Be Your Girlfriend.
- Use lunch and recess to talk to as many girls as you can.
- If you don't know how to talk to a girl, figure out who her friends are, and make friends with them. That will give a chance to talk to the girl.
- Try to talk to girls who are close to your grade and age. If you're in second grade, it's probably a waste of time to try to get a fourth or fifth grader to be your girlfriend.
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Make friends with the girls you like. Now that you've met a lot of girls, decide which ones you like best. Try to make them your friends by spending time around them and being nice.^{[1]
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- Compliment them. Tell them you think they're smart or funny, or tell them that you like their clothes or their hair.^{[2]
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- Stand up for them. If you see somebody being mean to them, stand up for the girl you like, because then she'll know you're a good friend.
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One of the most important things about having a girlfriend is that you can make each other laugh. When you spend time with your new friends, see if any of them make you laugh, or if you make them laugh. If you think a particular girl is funny, and she thinks you are funny, that's a great sign!^{[3]
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It's also very important that you and your girlfriend are interested in some of the same things. You're different people, so you don't have to like exactly the same things, but it's a good if you have a few interests in common, like if you both like the same sports or subjects in school.
You're probably pretty close to picking which girl you want to be your girlfriend. The last step is to make sure she's nice. If you notice that a girl is bossy, or that she makes fun of you, she probably shouldn't be your girlfriend.
You started out by talking to a bunch of girls. Then you became friends with some of them. Then you checked to see which of your new friends like the same things as you, and think the same things are funny. Now it's time to pick the girl you like best.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Getting Her to Be Your Girlfriend

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1
Make sure you're clean. Before you do anything else, you need to make sure you're clean and well groomed whenever you see her. Girls don't like people who smell bad. Before school or play dates, do the following:^{[4]
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- Take a bath or a shower and use lots of soap.
- Brush your teeth.
- Wear clean clothes
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Check if she wants a relationship. Most people don't have their first boyfriend or girlfriend until after elementary school,^{[5]
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- Talk about other people you know who have boyfriends or girlfriends, because it will give you a reason to ask if she wants one.
- Ask her if she's ever thought about having a romantic partner, but don't tell her it's because you want to be her partner. That might scare her off.
- If she says she doesn't want a relationship, ask her why not.
- If she asks if you want a girlfriend, tell her that you wouldn't mind having one, but that you're not desperate to.
DO NOT try to convince her to be your girlfriend. This will only make her hate you for not respecting her, and then other girls will not date you either. NEVER EVER try to talk a girl into anything she doesn't want.
If she's going to be your girlfriend, you should try to spend time with her outside of school. But you don't want to seem too aggressive at first. So, instead of inviting only her to your house, try to get a group of people to come—your friends and hers. That will give you a chance to spend more time with her, but won't feel too awkward.
Girls sometimes talk about crushes when they're alone, so you want to be sure that her friends are saying nice things about you. No girl wants to have a partner who isn't friends with her friends, so this is very important.
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Organize a play date with just her. If the group play date goes well, the next step is to spend time with just the two of you. Remember, this still isn't a real date, so you don't want to assume she'll be your girlfriend just because you two are hanging out.
- Find things to laugh about. Talk about funny things that happened at school, or watch a funny TV show you both like.
- Talk about things you have in common. If you two are in the same class, or if you like to do the same things outside of school, these are good things to talk about so your play date won't be awkward.
Boyfriends and girlfriends are close, and they talk about their feelings. So, if you get in the habit of talking to the girl you like about times when you were sad or happy, she'll start to think of you more like a partner.
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Give her a gift. Giving her a gift will show that you've been thinking about her. And if it's a gift she can use, she'll think about you whenever she uses it. Think about the things she likes to do:
- If she likes to draw, give her some nice markers.
- If she likes fancy socks, give her a pair you like. It will make her feel special.
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Ask if she wants to be your girlfriend. Eventually, if you want her to be your girlfriend, you're going to have to ask. This is probably the scariest part, but here are a few things you can say to her before asking if she wants to be your girlfriend:
- You're one of my best friends, and I think you're really smart and funny.
- I've noticed that we always have a really good time when we spend time together, so I'd like to spend more time with you.
- I feel like I can talk to you about things that I can't talk to other people about.
- We have a lot in common, and I really like all of your friends.
- Remember—the best way to find out if a girl likes you is to be upfront about how you feel.^{[6]
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Remember, she's younger than most people are when they get their first significant other, so she might not be ready yet. Just remember not to pressure her into anything she doesn't want.

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Tips

If you like some things she likes, you can also play it with her so if she likes drawing and you like drawing, maybe draw together on your first play date alone with her.

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Show that you care about her, keep good eye contact, and show her that you care about her priorities. It's always important to show her your true self.

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If she said that she's not interested in you, ask her why and don't be cross with her.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

You’re still very young, and I know my parents would never let me date at this age. Make sure your parents and hers are okay with it. And if they are not, it’s okay. Wait until you’re older.
You can tell if she likes you by approaching her when she's around her friends. If they're nudging her, giggling, or teasing her, she might like you.
If you like her and she doesn't notice, tell her directly how you feel about her. If she doesn't feel the same way, leave her alone.
Don't change yourself. If she doesn't like you for you then she's not the right girl for you.
I'm a girl, and we actually just want a boy who respects us, smiles, and is confident.
Write love poems or love notes and leave them on her desk or give them to her.

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Warnings

Don't get too intimate. Remember you're still a child in elementary school - you're far too young for romance and other personal activities.

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