How to Get Your Ex's Attention on Facebook & Social Media

Written by Christina Jay, NLP | Edited by Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: December 8, 2022 References

Want to make your ex seriously miss you? Luckily, Facebook is a great place to show yourself off and get some attention from your old flame. We’ll walk you through subtle ways to use social media so you can attract anyone you used to date. Read on and use these tricks to drive your ex wild so they’ll dream of having you back!

This article is based on an interview with our matchmaker and certified life coach, Christina Jay, NLP, founder of Preferred Match. Check out the full interview here.

1

Share positive and upbeat content.

Download Article

Your ex will think you’ve healed quickly and that you’re strong. Start off slow with some simple updates. Maybe you had a pizza night with your friends or went on a hike. If you're low-key right after your breakup, your posts will come across as more sincere. Also share motivational quotes and inspiring or funny videos. Anyone who was with you will miss all your optimism.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- You can post something like, “Mountain biking with the crew! 🚴🚴🚴"
- Don’t worry about posting every day. It’s okay to have gaps between your status updates.
- You’ll actually seem like you’re working on yourself and like you’re busy if you don’t always have content to share.

2

Put up pictures that show you’re happy.

Download Article

They’re evidence that you’re an exciting person and a great partner. Your ex will be hit with some serious nostalgia when they see your glowing personality and winning smile. Mix up your photos—take some dressed down and glammed up.^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Christina Jay, NLP
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview} You won’t seem like you’re out to get attention at all. It’ll just seem like you’re having a good time.
- Make sure to pose with your friends. That way, your ex will remember you’re the life of the party.
- Add captions that describe how you feel. They’ll give your ex a taste of what’s going on in your world.

3

Ask your friends to tag you in their photos.

Download Article

If your ex sees these, they'll remember how popular you are. Your ex might feel curious or nostalgic and scroll through your profile. Make sure your most recent pictures are actually tagged posts from your friends' timelines. When your ex sees how active your social life is, they'll know everyone values you and feel like you're the one that got away.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Feel free to keep yourself tagged in the most flattering pictures and "untag" yourself in any that you're not as comfortable with your ex seeing.
- Pose with big groups of friends and capture meaningful memories of one-on-one hangouts.

4

React to posts of mutual friends on Facebook.

Download Article

When your ex scrolls their feed, they'll see your name pop up. When you're on good terms with your ex's buddies, it'll seem like everyone loves you. Interact regularly with shared contacts you're already close to. Make spontaneous comments whenever anyone publishes content that catches your eye, even if you're less familiar with them.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- A "heart" reaction often looks more sincere than a "like." It'll suggest that you're really invested in the post, and your ex might miss all your warmth.
- A "crying face" or "care" reaction reminds your ex of your empathy and compassion.
- A "haha" reaction, which looks like a laughing emoji, can stir up memories of your amazing sense of humor.

5

Publicly RSVP to fun events.

Download Article

Give your ex excuses to “innocently” run into you. Announce how sociable you are and how you’re game to make an appearance almost anywhere, from a raging karaoke night to a chill book club. You’ll show all the different sides to you, and you’ll increase the chances of reconnecting with anyone who used to be in your life.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- You’ll probably also make new friends who might post on your wall. Your ex might be envious of anyone who gets to enjoy your presence.
- As time goes on, your ex is more likely to give into temptation and check out an event you’re supposed to go to.

6

Write about the adventures you went on.

Download Article

Your descriptive stories will cast a spell over your ex. Go into a lot of detail about any fun and exciting experiences you've had. For instance, if you go on a trip, you can rave about the amazing food and the beautiful scenery. Your ex will feel that they have an intimate view of your inner world, and they’ll wish they can go exploring with you.
- Include pictures and videos to make your account even more vivid.^{[6]
  X
  Research source}
- Feel free to visit places you went to with your ex—just make sure to talk about them in an entirely different light so your former partner doesn’t suspect you’re still pining over them.
- Also branch out and travel to exciting new spots. Lovingly write about everything you’ve noticed and your ex might melt because you’re so engaging.

7

Change your relationship status quickly and quietly.

Download Article

Update it and don’t mention it—your ex will admire your maturity. If you just leave your status the way it was before the breakup, your ex and everyone else might think you’re clinging to the past. Just remove it or list yourself as “single” without making a scene. It’s a sophisticated move that shows off how calm and collected you are.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Make sure Facebook doesn’t automatically post the new change on your timeline. Toggle the “Hide from Timeline” setting to keep the information discreet.
- Your ex might click on your “About Me” page, see you’re single, and reflect on the relationship they used to have with you.

8

Filter your ex’s posts from your feed.

Download Article

Your ex will worry that you’ve forgotten about them. If you want them to see your activity, then blocking or unfriending them is too extreme. Instead, use Facebook’s filter to your advantage just “unfollow” any of your ex’s content. It’ll be much easier to get them off your mind so you can focus on presenting your best self.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- You’ll probably feel less nostalgic if you don’t see photos or posts that include your ex.
- Your ex won’t have a chance to make you jealous since you won’t see their updates.
- Catch up on what your family and friends are doing to distract yourself.

9

Leave up any comments from admirers.

Download Article

This casually lets your ex know that you’re highly sought after. After you’ve made the rounds at lots of events and introduced yourself to a lot of people, you’re way more likely to get some flirty attention. If a new crush praises a selfie or a smart post of yours, keep it on your timeline. If they stumble across it, your ex will remember how attractive you are and want you for themselves.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Reply to compliments with a simple “thank you” message to show how gracious you are.
- To really turn up the heat and work up your ex, you can flirt back with your crush.
- An open-ended response, like a wink emoji, will keep your ex wondering how you really feel.^{[10]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Christina Jay, NLP
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview}

10

Stay chill when your ex comments or messages you.

Download Article

They'll be intrigued by your casual attitude. Eventually, anyone who shared a special connection with you will probably strike up a conversation again. Make sure your ex initiates any contact—that way, it looks like they’re pursuing you. Stay in control and reply with a friendly one-liner like:^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Christina Jay, NLP
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview}
- “Hey, it’s been a while. It’s nice of you to check up on me.”
- “Happy Friday! What’s new with you?”
- “LOL! That’s a funny meme. Thanks for sharing.”

11

Comment on your ex’s posts after they reach out.

Download Article

Once they’ve started a conversation, keep them interested. Just one exchange, even if it's really friendly, might not be enough to hook your ex. To make sure that they're practically addicted to you, check in on them regularly. Jokes, compliments, and thoughtful remarks will all help maintain the bond between the two of you.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- After you've left a nice note, move the chat over to DMs to deepen the connection.
- Then, suggest a video call over Messenger to see each other's faces again.
- Finally, ask if they'd like a no-pressure hangout, such as grabbing coffee together.